I really do think it has to do with values, life goals, and preferences. And every individual is unique.@INTJ_Artist @ENTJudgement @FreeKekistan
I took it upon myself to do a little test and ask my (very attractive) ESFP gf what she thinks are the most atttractive aspects in a man she could think of.
She mentioned the following:
Responsible, would make a good father, takes initiative, doesn't wait for permission from authorities, loyal, has integrity and sticks to their word.
Also to quote "It doesn't matter about anything else if they start repeating what they're being told. Ew."
Not all women judge by the same qualities, and if you're prepping yourself to be judged based on attractiveness, you'll find yourself going after women who value that more than things that are actually important(like some of the ones mentioned above). If you find yourself in a relationship with a woman who values only your looks and status at some point, don't get upset when they substitute you for someone with better looks and more status, because you didn't consider responsibility as a main factor yourselves.
Then there's the level of honesty and openness--because people can be honest about their values and goals or dishonest (I think women have to worry about this more with PUA culture, which basically teaches men to act like con-men, but there are plenty of women who don't value bluntness and honesty as well, so it's not like it's always easy to figure out).
It sounds like the woman you were talking to had very specific interests and I would bet she's passionate about freedom of expression.
But I also think that some values for the physical world are just practical. I think SFJs especially, get a bad rap sometimes because if they value things like starting a family or living in an American-dream/white-picket fence scenario, it's going to entail a certain amount of wealth. And I think people demonize their pragmatism, just because it goes against notions of romanticism (tbh I get kind of bitter about it at times). But it's just practicality and realism sometimes--and it makes sense for someone who also values that to be accepting that physical things must be in place for some lifestyles.
So I really think people need to avoid demonizing certain values over others (though I do it for sure), because it seems more about compatibility than one being better than another.
I haven't met many people (especially women) who primarily value a man for his looks or status. But I assume that might happen more in industries where that's more important--maybe high profile acting and performance industries where image is such an important part of the career.