[Impact Calculus]

For a while now I've been reading and reading about the enneagram and have been trying to justify my type and be completely sure that this is my best fit type. However, I'm still not completely sure that I have this all worked out, and I should probably be especially careful considering the rarity of 4s and 5s. Hopefully the type I have in my sig will be a good indicator of what I feel like I generally best relate to regarding the motives, fears, unhealthy stages, etc.

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1. What drives you in life? What do you look for?

I look for something that I can be passionate about. Happiness is good, but I really want to look for things that I can always find fascinating/interesting.

2. What do you hope to accomplish in your life?

I want to live a life where my values are satisfied. I don't have a strong sense of what those are. I want to pursue something where the newly found knowledge doesn't slow or come to a stop.

3. What do you hope to avoid doing or being? What values are important to you?

I don't want or care for money. I don't want to be somebody who pulls into life looking for something that will make them lots of money. I want to be passionate about what I do. I don't want to be in a competitive environment. My main focus would be on satisfying myself.

4. What are your biggest fears (not including phobias)? Why?

- I'll lose faith in what I'm doing and who I'm with.

- I'll become too reactive to people just trying to get under my skin. I've had quite the history with this, it simply makes me feel bad when people are undermining what I've been trying to build up. I tend to be reactive to this, which can really impact my mood. I understand it's unreasonable to feel this way, yet I can spend up to 45 minutes reflecting on that one thing. I never get anything out of this, and I find myself unable to make any real conclusions from this.

5. How do you want others to see you? How do you see yourself?

I want them to see me for who I am. I might express a stronger tone of who I am in order to make myself more engaged in social situations. This is only when I want to be more engaged though.

I see myself as sarcastic, sensitive, reactive, intuitively engaged, and friendly. I like people, I just don't tend to feel the need to engage much, except with the people I know really well. I can become really socially engaged when I'm with the few people I know really well.

6. What makes you feel your best? What makes you feel your worst?

I feel my best when my needs are met. That sounds bland, but as far as mood goes, I generally don't feel much better than when my very demanding needs are met. Basically laughter, being socially engaged, and feeling accomplished all make me feel good in the spur of the moment. I generally then begin to come back to my impression on the future, and the happiness levels off. However, if somebody I'm romantically interested in smiles at me, that really boosts my mood for quite a while.

I hate being in conflict, I hate being neglected for who I am. I hate when people take what I say the wrong way.



7. Describe how you experience each of: a) anger; b) shame; c) anxiety.

a) In the spur of the moment I can get irritable, but In the long run I generally just feel uneasy or a bit agitated for the rest of the day. I can't quite understand what I'm directing this agitation at.

b)

Shame for not fulfilling as well as I know I can. Shame for doing something that gives off a negative impression to my good friends/romantic interests.

c)

Anxious when I meet new people. Anxious when I think people are likely to judge me.

8. Describe how you respond to each of: a) stress; b) unexpected change; c) conflict.

a)

School/work tends to stress me out. Something being harder to accomplish than expected really tends to stress me out.

b)

This is just annoying. I get this idea and plan of what my day is going to be like, but then when things go south, I simply get really annoyed. Somebody dropping their commitment spontaneously really bothers me. I expect people to let me know ahead at least a bit ahead of time, especially if they have control over it.

9. Describe your orientation to: a) authority; b) power. How do you respond to these?

a)

I tend to take authority if my perspective is complete on things. I don't really broadcast it much, but I absorb and really stand up for my perspective if somebody's perspective contradicts it. I don't think anybody deserves any inherent authority over anything, let everybody share their ideas.

b) Power is worthless unless its necessary for what I want to pursue. If somebody else is simply given power, I'll respect it. I probably won't respect any "justifications" for that power.

10. What is your overall outlook on life and humanity?

We live in a box of our own creation. All of us.


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Sorry for the sloppy sentence structure/writing style. I wanted to rush past everything that didn't concern what my idea of myself actually is.


Anyway, any support from anybody is much appreciated.

 

[Sina]

Hi

I think your questionnaire is elusive but intriguing for that reason. Your gut fix is 9w1. Your heart fix is likely 4w5, yes. As for your head fix, I'll have to ask you about your relationship with trust as well as a longer explanation of how you handle anxiety and fear. Also, how do you approach problem solving? In which ways are you reactive?

I am going to ask you to read the 9,4, and all head type descriptions here:

1. Typewatch Enneagram: Typewatch Enneagram Type Descriptions

2. the enneagram ...info from the underground

Do share your impressions.

I'll talk more about the order of your tritype after you respond. I need more information from you. Also, I want to tell me the ways in which you identify with core 4. It'll provide some more insight.

 

[Impact Calculus]

Hi

I think your questionnaire is elusive but intriguing for that reason. Your gut fix is 9w1. Your heart fix is likely 4w5, yes. As for your head fix, I'll have to ask you about your relationship with trust as well as a longer explanation of how you handle anxiety and fear. Also, how do you approach problem solving? In which ways are you reactive?

I am going to ask you to read the 9,4, and all head type descriptions here:

1. Typewatch Enneagram: Typewatch Enneagram Type Descriptions

2. the enneagram ...info from the underground

Do share your impressions.

I'll talk more about the order of your tritype after you respond. I need more information from you. Also, I want to tell me the ways in which you identify with core 4. It'll provide some more insight.

Okay, thanks. : )

I'll describe how I relate and how I don't relate to each of these descriptions, then I'll move on to my thoughts on anxiety, fear, trust, reactivity and problem solving.


9:

This description makes a lot more sense. I didn't realize that 9s can have the tendency to self doubt without even knowing that their doing it. I can't see this as being my core type, but 9w1 seems more agreeable than 1w9. I suppose the integration to 1 from the type 4 might explain some of the idealistic qualities.

4:

I can relate very well to being moody, self absorbed and sensitive. I value authenticity greatly, but I've never experienced a scenario where I've felt that I am too normal or too common. I've always felt unique and different and I can't find a time where I've been angry or annoyed with myself for being too common. I've always been true to who I am. If I want to become more engaged with somebody, I might try and seem more stimulated by their conversation than I actually am, but that's about it. The "personal statement" thing makes a lot of sense. I'll often express my more neutral expressions in a way that best fit me. I might broadcast how I perceive things based on my eye movement, what I'm looking at, and in subtle areas around my face. I don't hold myself back at all when I laugh, even though both my smile and laugh are somewhat odd. This comes off as very contradictory of the initial impressions people make of me.
I've actually more recently taken an attitude to stare down people who are making wrong negative judgments of me. Not in a hostile way. I've always been extremely close to my emotional state. Its probably the easiest thing for me to describe.

7:

There doesn't seem to be anything that I can positively relate to for type 7. I'm never impulsive, adventurous, optimistic, etc.

6:

I generally have a tendency to want things to be clarified for me; but if I feel I have something completely worked out, I won't question to strongly disagree with somebody. I can be rather argumentative and sometimes highly analytical if my built up concepts and ideas are challenged. Unless there is something that I consider to be really groundbreaking for my ideas, I probably won't question anything or have any further dependance. When in an argument, I can sometimes lose sense in the importance of what they're trying to explain. In my head I might prove their idea to be completely off base, then keep pushing my construct outward. However, when I only have a partial understanding, I'll probably ask more intricate questions than most in order to develop a really strong understanding of something. I tend to seem like I have a poor understanding when I do this. This paragraph is probably telling enough for the head triad, but I'll wander around in the 5 area as well.

5:

Its hard for me to explain my understanding regarding how I think. I have an impulse to Google everything that I wonder about. I might stop in the middle of a youtube video to google a reference that I don't understand. I agree strongly with the tendency to think hard about future scenarios and likelihoods. I might spend a lot of time trying to understand what is likely to happen the next day, and how I should work through it depending on the circumstances.



Reactivity:

I tend to not understand why my emotional reactions are happening. I'll take a single bad encounter very seriously in the spur of the moment. I'll then realize I should have handled it differently, then become intensely focused on their perception of me. I will often indulge in reflections at this point, often with a result of feeling either hurt or angry. I'm likely to feel overly agitated as soon as I encounter them again, which I now realize isn't the same as what I said in my first post.


Anxiety:

I feel this when encountering new direct experiences. I get caught off guard when my idea of something is constantly shifting, and that makes me nervous. Certain social situations can also cause anxiety for me. This isn't as strong as my relationship with feeling hurt or regretful though.


Problem solving:

I'll probably try and first cut loose what clearly doesn't fit. Then I'll try and narrow my focus until I develop a good understanding of what I'm looking at. Once I identify the problem, I'll then cross apply trends to specific ideas that are likely to fit for the solution. I'll tend to flip back and forth between these two until I find the solution.


Fear:

I'm afraid of losing those that are close to me. I'm afraid of failure. I'm afraid of not reaching my goals. I don't think I have a very strong relationship with fear.



Hopefully this serves as a telling description. Thanks for the help.

Edit:

Sig updated.