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Ok, so I thought I'd give this a bash.

After having a wander through the ENTP section I noticed their (sticky) "confession thread", which they themselves got the idea for in the INTP section. A good one to read through for both humour and, sometimes, some insight. Our ESFJ section is a bit low on sticky threads, and this seems like a bit of a laugh if nothing else. So go on, post your confessions.

Since I've started I'll go first... bit of a pathetic one this I admit to start with:

I'm usually one of the first people in the office in the morning and I'll usually race to be first to the coffee machine to get a brew going. My colleagues think I'm being decent and helpful for doing this. Reality, I secretly think they are rubbish at measuring out the correct amount of coffee, and I want to ensure I enjoy my morning coffee at the strength I like it :unsure:.
 

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A friend of mine was telling me about a book her therapist gave her relating to self-esteem. Apparently the book said to talk to yourself the way you'd talk to a friend. She gave the example that you wouldn't tell your friend she looks like a fat cow in that outfit, so why would you say that to yourself? All I could think is, "yes, you'd never say that, but what if you'd be thinking it?" :rolling:

OK, maybe that snobby cheerleader thing isn't just a stereotype!
 

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I secretly don't like hosting people or throwing kid's birthday parties at our house. I put way too much pressure on myself for the house to look perfect and have the food be something everyone likes plus having to get all 3 little kids dressed decently and myself and then be like the fun hostess. It's just a lot. Then the whole time I'm also thinking about if everyone's enjoying themselves or what can make people more comfortable etc. Just a lot of work and then the house is a wreck afterwards...even though I feel I've been cleaning after people all day. I much rather have friends who are super outgoing and love to host and then go to their events. Lol! Way less pressure and more fun!

(I also don't like picking out the background music because I don't know what type of music everyone likes... I totally overthink it. lol! I'm sure no one would ever know that from the outside)
 

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I secretly don't like hosting people or throwing kid's birthday parties at our house. I put way too much pressure on myself for the house to look perfect and have the food be something everyone likes plus having to get all 3 little kids dressed decently and myself and then be like the fun hostess. It's just a lot. Then the whole time I'm also thinking about if everyone's enjoying themselves or what can make people more comfortable etc. Just a lot of work and then the house is a wreck afterwards...even though I feel I've been cleaning after people all day. I much rather have friends who are super outgoing and love to host and then go to their events. Lol! Way less pressure and more fun!

(I also don't like picking out the background music because I don't know what type of music everyone likes... I totally overthink it. lol! I'm sure no one would ever know that from the outside)
Aww - I hear you on the making things perfect piece - I actually like it, but I always worry so much before I have a party that I make everyone around me nuts! Once it starts, I'm ok, but getting there...ay yi yi!
 

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Discussion Starter #5
Another confession. I worried for several hours after initially posting this thread thinking it might to go down like a lead balloon with potential disapproval from my fellow ESFJs of my slightly selfish coffee making antics ha-ha.

Is it possible to request that a thread be made sticky?
 

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Haha, @orion83uk that totally made me laugh (in a good way)! So relatable. :) Thanks for creating this post. And yes, with how sloooowww things move here it's hard to get that instant feedback. I hear you.

@Happy29, Yes! So much that! I do have fun during and later on am glad I did it, it's just the before that gets insane (and well the during can be a pretty crazy with little kids too). I have to wonder if someday when my kids are older if the hosting part will be more fun. Right now it seems way more stress than it's worth when I can still have a great time (better time) at other people's events.

Thanks for the fun read! Nice to see a few ESFJs out here!
 

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I'm lonely. I don't have any friends, even though I always try really hard to make friends. I feel like no one cares about me, and I don't know why.
 

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@The Penguin, hugs to you!! I'm sorry you're feeling this way. Do you want to talk about it (maybe in a new thread)? I'm sure you'd find some listening ears here and people who do care. Hoping things get better for you!
Thank you. I have tried a few times, talking about it in my own threads, with a few different situations. People usually want a lot of personal details, so they can "help" but I'm not comfortable giving those details online to total strangers.

I'm loving, giving, helpful, nice, sweet, caring, personal, maybe a little too moody for my own good. I'm just hoping that it gets better someday. It's just hard for me to trust people because when I try, I feel like they just push me away.
 

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Do you have some kind of trust issues, (or anxieties) or just you have experienced people pushing you away, because of your moodiness ? If your moodiness looks similar to that, when you turn into ESTP 8w7 on this forum, I could see why ...
 

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Do you have some kind of trust issues, (or anxieties) or just you have experienced people pushing you away, because of your moodiness ? If your moodiness looks similar to that, when you turn into ESTP 8w7 on this forum, I could see why ...
Are you trying to make me angry?
 

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Can we keep this thread on topic please.
@The Penguin, I'm really sorry to read your post there. Could we start a new thread and chat?
I'm too worried about someone showing up and posting something rude, just to make me cry, because some people are toxic like that.

How about Private Messaging?
 

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My confession is that I actively smile at people and nod when they speak although I disagree with what they're saying in that moment. I just want to give them a good feeling and appreciation. Then I decide if I tell my opinion or if I let it go based on how much trust I have in our relationship. I know I fake it but it's more important to make them feel good than to tell everyone my opinion.

Also, I look at other people and think that they do not care about their facial expressions when someone is talking in a meeting. They sit there like robots but it's not hard to smile, nod or do something to show that you listen. That makes me feel Superior to other because I think have this awareness but it also make me second-guess myself because I really care and don't want to be fake.
 

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Another confession. I worried for several hours after initially posting this thread thinking it might to go down like a lead balloon with potential disapproval from my fellow ESFJs of my slightly selfish coffee making antics ha-ha.
lol

After having a wander through the ENTP section I noticed their (sticky) "confession thread", which they themselves got the idea for in the INTP section.
Were you worried about receiving disapproval for not fairly crediting the thread idea too :tongue:?
 

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Is it possible to request that a thread be made sticky?
You can message one of the mods for the ESFJ section and ask them to sticky it. Or mention one of them in the thread and request it. To find the list of mods for this section, go to ESFJ Forum - The Caregivers scroll down to the end where the mods are listed.

Another confession. I worried for several hours after initially posting this thread thinking it might to go down like a lead balloon with potential disapproval from my fellow ESFJs of my slightly selfish coffee making antics ha-ha.
Lol. That is a very unexpected reaction.

But is your behavior really selfish? You have standards and you're implementing them, not just for yourself but also for others whose standards are not up to par. So, you're doing them a favor, right? If coffee helps them get through morning, then you're not only handling the coffee-making, but you're also improving their mornings, which then consequently results in better productivity. That improves your employer's bottom line in the long term. That's not selfish at all! :bwink:

Another thought: they might know how terrible their coffee is and might not have the courage to admit it.
 

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Discussion Starter #18
You can message one of the mods for the ESFJ section and ask them to sticky it. Or mention one of them in the thread and request it. To find the list of mods for this section, go to ESFJ Forum - The Caregivers scroll down to the end where the mods are listed.
Cheers @Santa Gloss.

Hi @Coburn

Would it possible to have this thread made 'Sticky'? Many thanks.
 

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Dear ESFJs,

If you saw someone showing up to socials with wet hair all the time, would you judge that person...?
 
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