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Discussion Starter #1
Not sure if anyone created one before, but I decided I'd start one up anyway. So, I'll go first!

-Sometimes, I feel as if I'm too emotional and I wish I wasn't

-I don't like it when people view me as weak, unstable, or crazy because I am none of those things

-A lot of the time, I wish I was understood because rarely do I ever find anyone who does

-Sometimes, I want to be alone and I wish people wouldn't misunderstand or take it the wrong way

-I'm not afraid of being alone, but rather being abandoned by the people I love because that's truly what being alone is

-I don't like being attacked or disrespected by my ideals

-Sometimes, I feel as though I'm too empathetic and/or too sentimental

-I wish people were more real and upfront about their feelings like, "Hey, I didn't like it when you ___".
 

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As a fellow Ni-dom, I can understand where you are coming from.

-Sometimes, I feel as if I'm too emotional and I wish I wasn't
Funny, I feel like I'm not emotional enough. More specifically, I don't appear to care when I actually do. At other times, I just...can't feel. I fear that this will make it hard for a future SO (whom I hope is an F) will find it hard to connect with me.

-I don't like it when people view me as weak, unstable, or crazy because I am none of those things
People don't view me as "crazy." Weird, maybe, but not crazy. I do have a fear of being vulnerable.

-A lot of the time, I wish I was understood because rarely do I ever find anyone who does
Same here. Ni causes us to see things from a radically different perspective than the rest of the world does. We feel like we are the only ones that "get" the universe, and that makes it quite lonely sometimes.

-Sometimes, I want to be alone and I wish people wouldn't misunderstand or take it the wrong way
I get that from my acquaintances a lot. When I come home, the first thing I want to do is go to my room and watch mindless videos. I feel like I hurt my ISFJ mother by doing so. I reassure her that I'm not trying to avoid her, but I need time to decompress before I can talk. I still think it hurts her sometimes.

-I'm not afraid of being alone, but rather being abandoned by the people I love because that's truly what being alone is
Believe it or not, INTJ's often feel the same way. Just because I want to be alone does not mean I don't want friends. It's hard to communicate that sometimes.

-I don't like being attacked or disrespected by my ideals
That is understandable. INTJ's can be very defensive like that, too. Again, Ni causes us to believe that we have insight into the universe, and an aggressive challenger can cause us to feel slighted on a personal level.

-Sometimes, I feel as though I'm too empathetic and/or too sentimental
I can't empathize - no pun intended - with you there. I do envy INFJ's to a certain extent because I have the exact opposite problem. I have little to no empathy. What I feel tends to be either rooted in Fi or Te paranoia and accommodation.

-I wish people were more real and upfront about their feelings like, "Hey, I didn't like it when you ___".
In the South, this is a problem. Down here, we are very polite and courteous. On the flip side, it's hard sometimes to tell what is friendliness and what is passive aggression. This makes it even harder for me because I can't read social cues very well. I worry sometimes that I annoy my friends or appear to clingy, so I would appreciate honesty if I did cross certain lines.

I did not mean to hijack the thread. In fact, I think it's very good. INFJ's need to be more honest as to how they feel. I wish you all the best.
 

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ohh i try to throw my part in, what isn't already said by OP.

- I am too honest, and i hurt people with it accidentally.

- I have a very hard time trusting people.

- I am disgusted by people who lie, talk bad behind someones back and manipulate people commonly.

- My deepest wish is being understood by people. Too bad a handful of people do.

- If you hurt my feelings it makes me mad, If you attack my ideals and believes, i am furious
 

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I am without any desire and since I returned after many years to my home country I tried to chameleon in my old self to fit societal needs but I fail miserably. Years I felt at home while I never really knew where I was, now back home it is like I'm pulling myself away, I know I've just to accept myself again but jeez it is scary (and a bit exciting) to ripple this illusion of myself and accepting I'm not going to meet standards of all those around me. Being abroad somehow gives you the space needed to live in harmony and peace, nobody expects you not to go with the flow. Being in the place you grow up there are expectations and standards, you got to have goals, a purpose and ambition.

Been given a stone and assured it is an priceless diamond I've felt mightily pleased my whole life, until I realized my mistake. After seeing it is just a stone I fail miserably in convincing myself it to be a diamond. What to do with a stone in my hand with everybody believing its a priceless diamond?
 

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Discussion Starter #5
Funny, I feel like I'm not emotional enough. More specifically, I don't appear to care when I actually do. At other times, I just...can't feel. I fear that this will make it hard for a future SO (whom I hope is an F) will find it hard to connect with me.
My opposite half best friend (ENTJ) has once told me the same thing. He'll even jokingly say, "I don't understand why you can be so emotional" to which I reply, "I don't understand why you can be so logical". My few handful of close friends are actually people who have a "T" and I'm only close to one other person that's "F" (ENFJ). Personally, I feel as though I connect more with those with "T", I find them more... interesting.

I get that from my acquaintances a lot. When I come home, the first thing I want to do is go to my room and watch mindless videos. I feel like I hurt my ISFJ mother by doing so. I reassure her that I'm not trying to avoid her, but I need time to decompress before I can talk. I still think it hurts her sometimes.
The same goes for me. Even with one of my closest guy friend (INTP), he'll occasionally get worried or offended if I disappear out of the blue, but sometimes, I really just want to be alone. It doesn't necessarily mean I'm tired of the person, but more like, I, myself am drained from a long day/week of socializing at work or school. I don't mean to hurt anyone, really.

I can't empathize - no pun intended - with you there. I do envy INFJ's to a certain extent because I have the exact opposite problem. I have little to no empathy. What I feel tends to be either rooted in Fi or Te paranoia and accommodation.
I talked to my close guy friend (INTP) friend about your commentary and he completely agreed. It's funny though, I really do envy the way INTP/ENTJ/INTJs aren't as empathetic - I'm... just too empathetic; I want to be there for everyone when realistically, I can't. lol

I did not mean to hijack the thread. In fact, I think it's very good. INFJ's need to be more honest as to how they feel. I wish you all the best.
No, thank YOU for taking the time to share with me what you had to say. A lot of my logical friends tell me the same thing. They remind me that it's a lot better if I talked about it rather than destroy myself by keeping it bottled up haha
 

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Discussion Starter #6
- I am too honest, and i hurt people with it accidentally.
I try not to be too blunt around sensitive people because I fear hurting people. I honestly would never intentionally hurt someone... just because I know how much it hurts to be in pain - I'd never want anyone to experience it.

- I have a very hard time trusting people.
Me too. I only have about 4 people I wholeheartedly trust!

- I am disgusted by people who lie, talk bad behind someones back and manipulate people commonly.
Right?! I can't stand people who lie or talk bad behind someone's back. I wish people were more kind and real, haha.
 

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I'm happy that you haven't found anyone else like me.
 
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Discussion Starter #9
@shesinfj

You can never be too empathetic :) In fact, it is the most logical way to be. Humans are connected by their emotions. If we do not have empathy, there is nothing stopping us from tearing each other apart.
That's what I think most of the time, too, but unfortunately, when you are overwhelmed with your emotions, you can't help but wish you weren't so empathetic. I honestly agree with you! I believe having empathy is one of the greatest characteristics to have, but my logical friends are so-so much in belief that I'm sometimes too much and too empathetic for my own good. Regardless, they accept me for who I am and anyway, life will always be a warm journey with love and kindness in your heart.
 

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Discussion Starter #10
-I don't tolerate liars.

-I don't understand why people can't be friendly without having a deeper motive behind being so.
 

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-I get tired of being used by those I try to help

-It's hard for me to open up to people when I get close, and I have a history of those same people abandoning me or neglecting my needs.

-I feel needy because I want a close relationship

-My negativity gets the best of me sometimes

-I get tired of constantly "profiling" new people I meet, and unfortunately my ability to read people is good enough I write them off because of how shallow their personalities seem.

-Constantly working my butt off, trying to accomplish everything I need to and help everyone I can, and eventually burning out
 

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-No matter how well I understand other people, they never understand me.
-There's a constant battle between emotional and rational thought inside my head. Can they ever just work together? I think they would be a good team.
 

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Discussion Starter #16
- I become cynical when feeling down and believe i'm superior because of depth/integrity
How interesting! I'll become a little self-absorbed (unintentionally) and I'll feel really spiteful so we're a little similar!

Don't share dreams or deeper thoughts because believe most would laugh/think they're weird
We oftentimes don't share our dreams/thoughts because we can be extremely private, too!

- really want to meet others who understand me and relate
I do, too. I do, too.
 

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Discussion Starter #17
-I get tired of being used by those I try to help
I do, too. But my ENTJ best friend once told me, "You need to know when to walk away. You can't help everyone and I acknowledge the fact that you want to, but you can't save the world. You cannot help what does not want to be helped".

-It's hard for me to open up to people when I get close, and I have a history of those same people abandoning me or neglecting my needs.
I agree. I'll never be ready for the idea of people leaving me. God knows I'll never be ready. But I'm trying to come to terms with the idea that sometimes people have to go and letting go is love, too.

-I get tired of constantly "profiling" new people I meet, and unfortunately my ability to read people is good enough I write them off because of how shallow their personalities seem.
Me too. But sometimes, it doesn't hurt to put away what you've read and give people a chance. Despite the fact we feel the need to protect ourselves, I don't think it ever hurts to give people a chance. I like to give people a chance to show me what kind of person they are and if they are what I saw then I walk away.

-Constantly working my butt off, trying to accomplish everything I need to and help everyone I can, and eventually burning out
Same! My INTP best friend gets especially irked about this. My ENTJ best friend on the other hand will just never understand why I do that to myself, haha!
 

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Discussion Starter #18 (Edited)
-No matter how well I understand other people, they never understand me.
Mmmm, I agree with you to an extent. Last year, that's what I kept thinking to myself. At times, I still feel that way, but it's kind of a superior/negative outlook. People do have a hard time understanding INFJs, but I think it's hard to understand anyone in general - everyone has their complexions. I've learned to change my outlook into this: What matters is who tries to understand me. Who doesn't push me away when they see the darkest parts I've hidden away... but rather continue to try and understand.

-There's a constant battle between emotional and rational thought inside my head. Can they ever just work together? I think they would be a good team.
Agreed!
 

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I am still trying to figure out why I just don't show most people my truly empathic side in person and why I have no problem playing the 'cold calculated intellectual'.

Poetry and the idea of seeking romantic relationships seem to have something in common for me - until I can reconnect with my emotionality and social curiosity with less life stress I don't think either are things I can accomplish (the former at least, not created in over 2 years).

Is it a bad thing not to care about others on a deeper level because they have no time for fellow humans (yet complain about singledom and emotions seeming scary)?
 

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Discussion Starter #20
I am still trying to figure out why I just don't show most people my truly empathic side in person and why I have no problem playing the 'cold calculated intellectual'.
There are many reasons as to why you don't show people your empathetic side. I don't know you personally so I don't want to assume what the reason may be, but one common reason is: Your experiences. I suppose the thing about INFJs is we can be either hot or cold - extremely empathetic or extremely cold. Personally, if I choose to turn the cold shoulder on someone, I turn very cold; I'll look away and never turn back. Though, that's a choice.

Is it a bad thing not to care about others on a deeper level because they have no time for fellow humans (yet complain about singledom and emotions seeming scary)?
No, it's not a bad thing that you don't care about others on a deeper level. It's true that most people don't care as much as INFJs tend to (considering we're 1% of the population we find it odd that 99% of the other population don't seem to as much). I don't know if you're spiteful or have bad experiences, but most people who turn cold have their reasons. I once had mine and it was in order to protect myself as well as others from getting hurt.
 
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