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In sadder news, my dream of getting to Vietnam feels thin these days. I know it's going to happen, but it's annoying that it's still so far away. March at the earliest, but probably a lot later. This covid shit is just... shite.

Even if Vietnam opens its borders again, I doubt I'll be at the front of the queue. There will be employment visas, business visas, family visas, and whatever kind of visa is reserved for rich people who galivant all over the place. And even then, if I can get that tourist visa, I bet it won't be the same as before, where expats would arrive for 90 days, then simply cross into Laos or Cambodia on a visa run to get a new stamp in their passport when needed. It'll probably be a new, rigorous visa system where tourists are only given 2 weeks and are strictly monitored, or something like that. I suppose I could go for an employment visa (and may actually succeed, as there are quite a lot of tech jobs around there), but I want to try feelancing first, which means a tourist visa for now.

Either way, there is currently no light at the end of the tunnel; my impatience is weighing hard.
 

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In sadder news, my dream of getting to Vietnam feels thin these days. I know it's going to happen, but it's annoying that it's still so far away. March at the earliest, but probably a lot later. This covid shit is just... shite.

Even if Vietnam opens its borders again, I doubt I'll be at the front of the queue. There will be employment visas, business visas, family visas, and whatever kind of visa is reserved for rich people who galivant all over the place. And even then, if I can get that tourist visa, I bet it won't be the same as before, where expats would arrive for 90 days, then simply cross into Laos or Cambodia on a visa run to get a new stamp in their passport when needed. It'll probably be a new, rigorous visa system where tourists are only given 2 weeks and are strictly monitored, or something like that. I suppose I could go for an employment visa (and may actually succeed, as there are quite a lot of tech jobs around there), but I want to try feelancing first, which means a tourist visa for now.

Either way, there is currently no light at the end of the tunnel; my impatience is weighing hard.
It's hard to predict and it doesn't look likely, but at the same time: anything can happen. Situations change. Unpredictable events interfere. And negative thinking/anticipation doesn't really take that possibility into account.
I was caught of guard many many times, small things (work related, socially), projecting the worst for what lay ahead. And voilà, a deus ex machina comes down -- except, it's nothing supernatural but the unfolding of natural events and their consequences.

Worst case is: March is there, shit it's all delayed. But by that time, the wait to that (yet unkown) point in the future when it will happen, has come a great deal closer.
 

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Fine, it was me. I used the first aid kit scissors for my salad dressing.
 

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It's hard to predict and it doesn't look likely, but at the same time: anything can happen. Situations change. Unpredictable events interfere. And negative thinking/anticipation doesn't really take that possibility into account.
I was caught of guard many many times, small things (work related, socially), projecting the worst for what lay ahead. And voilà, a deus ex machina comes down -- except, it's nothing supernatural but the unfolding of natural events and their consequences.

Worst case is: March is there, shit it's all delayed. But by that time, the wait to that (yet unkown) point in the future when it will happen, has come a great deal closer.
Yeah, I mean I'm not super sad or anything haha, I'm just so impatient. To be honest it's a real First World Problems complaint. Covid-19 hasn't affected me at all, other than my gym being closed so my plan to get fit stalled. Aside from that... my job is secure, my health is fine enough, my family are all still covid free. Meanwhile the UK overall is plunging into absolute fucking madness. I'm quite lucky in the grand scheme of things.

Here's me as my country rots.

872869



My Vietnam desperation woes are quite childish really.
 

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Yeah, I mean I'm not super sad or anything haha, I'm just so impatient. To be honest it's a real First World Problems complaint. Covid-19 hasn't affected me at all, other than my gym being closed so my plan to get fit stalled. Aside from that... my job is secure, my health is fine enough, my family are all still covid free. Meanwhile the UK overall is plunging into absolute fucking madness. I'm quite lucky in the grand scheme of things.

Here's me as my country rots.

View attachment 872869


My Vietnam desperation woes are quite childish really.
Hah, can relate. Do you know you (enneagram) instincts? Likely SP/SX too because that's a lack of SO right there (which I do support, naturally...).
 
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Hah, can relate. Do you know you (enneagram) instincts? Likely SP/SX too because that's a lack of SO right there (which I do support, naturally...).
I do not know enneagram instincts, do not know SP/SX, and do not know what SO means.

Your whole post might as well have been Latin, for all I know, haha.
 

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The link I replied with was literally in Latin. It contributes to the overall weirdness of it and the fact that the guy has a Swedish accent.
Bookmarked. Waiting to find the time/mood, looks promising.

Can't say I'm a fan of enneagram stuff generally, but I'd at least agree that your analysis is somewhat correct.

And that MBTI dating website is a hilarious little thing, ha.
I don't really know why it's even linked to enneagram, seems more like a tool on itself.

And that site, hah. I think I've been a member for several years, but it's... ultimately depressing. The interface looks old, people do join but never talk, a few annoying regulars, bugs here and there, etc. For a long time people have been suspecting the owners actually abandoned the project.
Must say I've had some decent/meaningful connections over the years, but I mostly recall Web 1.0 type of frustration.
 

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Bookmarked. Waiting to find the time/mood, looks promising.


I don't really know why it's even linked to enneagram, seems more like a tool on itself.

And that site, hah. I think I've been a member for several years, but it's... ultimately depressing. The interface looks old, people do join but never talk, a few annoying regulars, bugs here and there, etc. For a long time people have been suspecting the owners actually abandoned the project.
Must say I've had some decent/meaningful connections over the years, but I mostly recall Web 1.0 type of frustration.
I prefer things when they are hot out of the oven. Or in this case existed for at least 3 years but still doesn’t get more than a few hundred views per video.

Bias Typology what an interesting concept. It’s like a whole new personality typology to play with. But it’s meant to appeal to exactly to those people unsatisfied with common ones like MBTI.

Forget everything about MBTI. Get a diary, write down what are the major themes of your life?
 

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I prefer things when they are hot out of the oven. Or in this case existed for at least 3 years but still doesn’t get more than a few hundred views per video.

Bias Typology what an interesting concept. It’s like a whole new personality typology to play with. But it’s meant to appeal to exactly to those people unsatisfied with common ones like MBTI.

Forget everything about MBTI. Get a diary, write down what are the major themes of your life?
Are you a Fiducian type?


(Also: he'll never read this, but @Stockholmaren once linked me this guy too. But that wasn't an imagination bias but a Swedish bias.)
 

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Are you a Fiducian type?


(Also: he'll never read this, but @Stockholmaren once linked me this guy too. But that wasn't an imagination bias but a Swedish bias.)
I initially didn’t think so, then I saw the other types. The other ones seem like they are easily caricatured. Maybe Abstractum, but that implies a sort of looking down upon people and being overly asocial like an undeveloped autistic character.

It reminded me of the xcdhatguy who used to be a skinny boi describing the 4th dimension. Now he seems to be a larger Comic Book Guy type character. He is sort of worshipped as a guy in a comedic way because he is apparently knowledgeable. He has his own theories, like that unhealthy food doesn’t exist if recall.

But Fiduciam is also supposed to be like a Hippie. I am not a mere hippie, I am rather an inner engineer rebuilding the partition tables of the brain to dual-boot Windows and Linux.

Why do all these self-proclaimed awakened individuals always have Ne? Especially ENFP, it seems like this was an aspect of Alan Watts. He knew all the teachings, but was also an alcoholic. Reminds me of Gendun Chopel who I must read more about.

I’ve also discovered Frank Yang. Another person typed as ENFP by the internet community. He also claims to be an arhat.

He’s one of them people who believes strongly in experience rather than cognition. I think this somewhat differentiates the Swedish guy from others. Cognition is often downplayed.

Emptiness seems to be the most misunderstood topic. The Dalai Lama himself said that emptiness is the ultimate nature of reality. In Buddhist hybrid English, this is a lack of “own-being” there is no essences, everything is therefore depend on another.

Most people in these New Age circles seem to be Hindu in their beliefs because they contradictorily believe that emptiness and fullness are the same thing. Emptiness is like saying the Soul doesn’t exist, while the opposite is saying that the Soul is completely full, more fuller than the physical world itself and more real. This is the insanity I bear witness to. The Swedish guy isn’t much different, he also believes in a timeless self.

 

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Had another lonnnng call with her.

She said, "I like...."

Huh...???

"... I like your voice. I've wanted to say it several times, but decided against it. Until now"

She then proceeded to coax a small handful of compliments from me, about her being pretty and such like. And since the cat was out of the bag, she said about 20 more times that she likes it when I speak. Kind of odd, but I have had some folk comment before on my voice. Only problem is, I think it's a phone thing. My phone voice sounds nice, apparently. Nobody has said much about my real-life voice before.

Anyway... Yay 😅 <~~~ Happy-nervous face because this is probably not a good road to go down, given that I definitely won't be anywhere near her part of the world for ages yet. And it still could be a whole different thing when meeting in real life.
 

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On the plus side... While this is my first time having actual 'feelings' for someone who I've not actually met in real life (and therefore I still have various reservations), I must say it's nice to have feelings at all. After my gigantic heartbreak which I wrote a lot about on here 4 or 5 years ago, I genuinely didn't think I'd be able to feel any feels ever again. I didn't love my last girlfriend, and I thought it's because I was permanently broken - perhaps at that time I still was broken - but the feelings I'm getting now are very reminiscent of the old, unbroken me, which is really just wonderful.
 

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Why do all these self-proclaimed awakened individuals always have Ne? Especially ENFP, it seems like this was an aspect of Alan Watts. He knew all the teachings, but was also an alcoholic. Reminds me of Gendun Chopel who I must read more about.

...
I gained +3 extraversion points watching this.

Reminds me of:
 

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She said, "I like...."

Huh...???

"... I like your voice. I've wanted to say it several times, but decided against it. Until now"
That's massive dude. Considering she's so guarded, this is practically her saying she's madly in love with you.
 
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That's massive dude. Considering she's so guarded, this is practically her saying she's madly in love with you.
Haha, I'm not so sure about mad love quite yet.

We already chatted about the "what ifs" of when we meet in person, i.e. a full awareness of the fact that reality could be totally different. She also said she normally takes a little while to decide if she likes someone, and wouldn't know if there was any "spark" until meeting in person (ugh, pressure). Also I sometimes get a sort of slap-from-reality feeling where I tell myself that I'm not actually that into her and I'm just making it all up and it would definitely never work between us because reasons. Thanks, INTP self-doubt.

It's definitely something, but I'm not going to dive into any premature conclusions.

At the very least, she's definitely an INFJ, and I find that kind of fun. MBTI biases confirming themselves.
 
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