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I have an insane crush on a coffee bar waitress. I have seen her several times, she has seen me and must recognize me at this point.

How to go about this, I have no idea. I always feel like working-people are utterly unattainable, but fffhhhhhg... Sitting here smiling like a moron. I just love her every movement, it's the silliest thing...
 
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I have an insane crush on a coffee bar waitress. I have seen her several times, she has seen me and must recognize me at this point.

How to go about this, I have no idea. I always feel like working-people are utterly unattainable, but fffhhhhhg... Sitting here smiling like a moron. I just love her every movement, it's the silliest thing...
I'd just like to say I envy that you have an insane crush.

Even little things like that have been so far out of reach for me, thanks to lockdown and living in a boring little town.

Funny thing is, it's still gonna be out of reach for me for a while, because now Vietnam is in hardcore lockdown. Just my luck, ha!

At least it's a new country and new life so it isn't that bad yet.

If it were me in your situation, I would feel pretty lost too. All I can suggest is to find a way to start a non-work-related conversation. Maybe say something about the Olympics. I dunno. Being human is hard 🤷‍♂️
 

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I used to go on Omegle (text), trying to meet girls.

"Male, 16" I think is when it started.

Quality conversation wasn't easy to find...

But when I did meet the right "asl"

Say, a sweet "15, f, Norway"

I would imagine the cutest girl

And twenty minutes in our chat

Before I got the chance to exchange e-mail

The dreaded DISCONNECT

Would break my heart.
I have an insane crush on a coffee bar waitress. I have seen her several times, she has seen me and must recognize me at this point.

How to go about this, I have no idea. I always feel like working-people are utterly unattainable, but fffhhhhhg... Sitting here smiling like a moron. I just love her every movement, it's the silliest thing...
It seems like you have a lot of sexual tension. I'm the same. I haven't had sex for over 5 years, haven't had a girlfriend for over 10 years, and I don't masturbate, so I have excessive amount of sexual energy built up. Why is this male human body so needy? Anyway, I can feel a tremendous amount of attraction, almost like a strong magnet, whenever I see a cute woman. Because so much energy is built up, every part of my body is constantly pulsating. I try to hide that energy when I'm around people. I won't let it control me, and meditation and physical exercises help calm it down. I can simultaneously feel intense pleasure and displeasure/frustration from this sexual desire. I used to hate this feeling, but now I enjoy it, almost in a sadistic way. I like that it gives me so much energy, and I feel so alive. I have built a foundation mentally to control this energy, it almost feels like a life hack, and I have endless amount of energy like a child, but unlike a child, that energy is very controlled.
 

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I recently moved to an isolated small town. My neighbor (still very active in her 80s) invited me to come on a seniors bus trip. What has my life become?

The trip will be 3 hours each way, through mountains. Since I have a fear of driving through mountains myself, I decided to go, as it will probably be my only chance to ever see that scenery.

This means I'll have to politely explain to my seat mate that I'm going to be looking out the window for the entire trip and not available for conversation.

Maybe not the best way to make friends in a new town.

There will be a barbecue at the destination site, so maybe I can try to make a good impression there.
 

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I'd just like to say I envy that you have an insane crush.

Even little things like that have been so far out of reach for me, thanks to lockdown and living in a boring little town.

Funny thing is, it's still gonna be out of reach for me for a while, because now Vietnam is in hardcore lockdown. Just my luck, ha!

At least it's a new country and new life so it isn't that bad yet.

If it were me in your situation, I would feel pretty lost too. All I can suggest is to find a way to start a non-work-related conversation. Maybe say something about the Olympics. I dunno. Being human is hard 🤷‍♂️
Man I nearly chocked on my "Bye", no kidding. I must have felt it had to be the best Bye of my life, which is why I messed up. And I don't think my nod looked any smoother.

It seems like you have a lot of sexual tension. I'm the same. I haven't had sex for over 5 years, haven't had a girlfriend for over 10 years, and I don't masturbate, so I have excessive amount of sexual energy built up. Why is this male human body so needy? Anyway, I can feel a tremendous amount of attraction, almost like a strong magnet, whenever I see a cute woman. Because so much energy is built up, every part of my body is constantly pulsating. I try to hide that energy when I'm around people. I won't let it control me, and meditation and physical exercises help calm it down. I can simultaneously feel intense pleasure and displeasure/frustration from this sexual desire. I used to hate this feeling, but now I enjoy it, almost in a sadistic way. I like that it gives me so much energy, and I feel so alive. I have built a foundation mentally to control this energy, it almost feels like a life hack, and I have endless amount of energy like a child, but unlike a child, that energy is very controlled.
Abstention in my experience isn't the worst. The worst is when they give the kid the candy once for taste, then wrap back up. I am guessing that is why you are able to control the excess, or indeed manipulate it into something positive.
 

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Abstention in my experience isn't the worst. The worst is when they give the kid the candy once for taste, then wrap back up. I am guessing that is why you are able to control the excess, or indeed manipulate it into something positive.
The problem with not converting it to something positive is that it would slowly poison you otherwise. Sexual frustration works like any negative emotions, such as hatred and anxiety. Well, at least that's what I've observed in myself and others. Better to solve it while it's small than to let it grow into something that requires drugs to solve.
 

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Abstention in my experience isn't the worst. The worst is when they give the kid the candy once for taste, then wrap back up. I am guessing that is why you are able to control the excess, or indeed manipulate it into something positive.
The problem with not converting it to something positive is that it would slowly poison you otherwise. Sexual frustration works like any negative emotions, such as hatred and anxiety. Well, at least that's what I've observed in myself and others. Better to solve it while it's small than to let it grow into something that requires drugs to solve.
I went about a year and half sexless, until last month when it fleetingly changed.

Anyway the main thing that happened from a psychological perspective is that I'm pretty much a teenager again, in terms of romance etc, and my idealism towards it. For a long time I started to think that the idea of 'true romance' was dead, and that really most relationships are simply a matter of convenience, finding someone you get on with and find sexually appealing enough to stay with. I dunno, I guess it was a knock-on effect from the massive heartbreak I endured a few years ago. Anyway, since my long dry spell now, I feel once more like romance and 'true love' are the main things on my agenda, rather than plain sex and basic companionship.

I like that I'm interested in real love again.

Rather than feeling sexual frustration, I feel, erm, romantic frustration? I can't wait to be completely enamoured with someone who reciprocates it.
 

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The problem with not converting it to something positive is that it would slowly poison you otherwise. Sexual frustration works like any negative emotions, such as hatred and anxiety. Well, at least that's what I've observed in myself and others. Better to solve it while it's small than to let it grow into something that requires drugs to solve.
I have built a foundation mentally to control this energy, it almost feels like a life hack, and I have endless amount of energy like a child, but unlike a child, that energy is very controlled.
How would you go about the process?
I went about a year and half sexless, until last month when it fleetingly changed.

Anyway the main thing that happened from a psychological perspective is that I'm pretty much a teenager again, in terms of romance etc, and my idealism towards it. For a long time I started to think that the idea of 'true romance' was dead, and that really most relationships are simply a matter of convenience, finding someone you get on with and find sexually appealing enough to stay with. I dunno, I guess it was a knock-on effect from the massive heartbreak I endured a few years ago. Anyway, since my long dry spell now, I feel once more like romance and 'true love' are the main things on my agenda, rather than plain sex and basic companionship.

I like that I'm interested in real love again.

Rather than feeling sexual frustration, I feel, erm, romantic frustration? I can't wait to be completely enamoured with someone who reciprocates it.
I probably need adjusting the other way around. Or at least I feel it's dangerous to fall for either extreme. Too romantic an ideal can only disappoint in practice - but on the other hand you don't want to set your standards so low the whole experience feels like settling.
I feel like I have always expected too much and could use more realistic experience (probably an age thing), before resorting back to your current strategy. Unless I get very lucky along the way, bumping into the grand amour, I don't mind the next 3-5 years to look something of a trial-and-error.
 
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I don't have any problem with eye contact, the real problem is that 97 % of the time I'm not paying attention to (only) you, but when it's needed, I don't avoid it.
 

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I live in a fair sized apartment (for one person). But I kind of want to live in a small studio because I don't feel I need the space.
 

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How would you go about the process?
I think everyone has their own way of solving the problem. Observing the negative emotions and acknowledging that they are problematic seems like a good start. Then perhaps try and see what works. With Ti-Ne at the top of the stack, it seems like xNTPs are pretty good at finding solutions.

I went about a year and half sexless, until last month when it fleetingly changed.

Anyway the main thing that happened from a psychological perspective is that I'm pretty much a teenager again, in terms of romance etc, and my idealism towards it. For a long time I started to think that the idea of 'true romance' was dead, and that really most relationships are simply a matter of convenience, finding someone you get on with and find sexually appealing enough to stay with. I dunno, I guess it was a knock-on effect from the massive heartbreak I endured a few years ago. Anyway, since my long dry spell now, I feel once more like romance and 'true love' are the main things on my agenda, rather than plain sex and basic companionship.

I like that I'm interested in real love again.

Rather than feeling sexual frustration, I feel, erm, romantic frustration? I can't wait to be completely enamoured with someone who reciprocates it.
Having a positive outlook seems better than a negative one. But, to depend on someone else to make you happy can be problematic. Even if no one in this world loves me, I would not let it stop me from enjoying my life.
 

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I think everyone has their own way of solving the problem. Observing the negative emotions and acknowledging that they are problematic seems like a good start. Then perhaps try and see what works. With Ti-Ne at the top of the stack, it seems like xNTPs are pretty good at finding solutions.



Having a positive outlook seems better than a negative one. But, to depend on someone else to make you happy can be problematic. Even if no one in this world loves me, I would not let it stop me from enjoying my life.
I have now delved into the wisdom of Dzogchen.

It is a much more efficient method of removing suffering from life compared to my previous Mark 1.0 implementation.

Anyway, I am completely disappointed with all new age Guru’s because they are literally copying Dzogchen while ignoring the fun parts.

I was watching guy on YouTube trying to adopt a Nihilistic worldview where we skillfully live in a world without good or evil being distinguished. That’s basically what Tantric stuff is. It’s pathetic how unoriginal they are in reading a bunch of books.
 

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It's super fun to be play live chess

but my friend's level is well below par, making it kind of a Meh experience overall.
 

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Having a positive outlook seems better than a negative one. But, to depend on someone else to make you happy can be problematic. Even if no one in this world loves me, I would not let it stop me from enjoying my life.
Yep, can't disagree with that.

I think perhaps the deeper issue is not that I want 'love', it's that I've accidentally been starved of normal human sociability for so long that my mind is telling me that that's what I want. Not that I'm 100% starved, but as I've said a few times on here, I made a few decisions that, along with covid lockdown, led to me having my social life reduced to pretty much zero.

Probably when I regain a normal level of sociability in my life, my desire for such things will fade, because the humans around me will be enough.
 

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The weird return of my stuck-in-lockdown blues has now subsided. Woohoo! I dunno what was going on there. The past couple of nights have felt completely normal.

However I'm now presented with an increasing sense of worry, about the one thing I did not expect to happen here.

A big reason for me wanting to move to Vietnam was that they had handled the covid situation so well. Barely any cases, strict control of outbreaks, enforced quarantine, etc, all making for a happy and active society with barely any restrictions on normal life.

Oh how things have changed.

Vietnam is now enduring its worst outbreak yet, and now everything is in HARD lockdown. All people indoors, only allowed out for essentials, and there's a strict overnight curfew from 6pm-6am where nobody is allowed out other than ultra-essential services, healthcare workers etc. (I think this curfew was put in place because it's common in Asia for people to go out in droves on an evening for walking and the likes).

My quarantine ends in 8 days and I have no idea WTF I'm supposed to do?!?! People aren't allowed to even move between districts any more. My quarantine hotel is 2 hours out of Saigon, so what am I supposed to do when I check out of this place? Move to another hotel nearby, at this random location in the middle of nowhere? For how long? And how do I find an apartment to live in, in Saigon? I can't. There's so much extremely important stuff that I need to do, such as setting up a bank account, getting a sim card, finding an apartment etc, which is nigh on impossible because everything is shut.

At the moment, the country is in such a dire situation that local people are going without food, because lockdown rules won't allow them to buy it when needed, and hospitals are now suddenly reaching capacity with covid cases (I don't think there is a huge amount of cases here, compared to the west, but it's a weaker healthcare system here so it's already hitting its limit, hence the hard lockdown). So locals are having a hard enough time as it is. Now what am I supposed to do, a newbie in this country with no friends and no foundation?

I think it'll work out okay in the end, but it ain't gonna be fun.
 

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I had a sandwich in bath earlier.

Not the place (UK), but the tub, water, soap thing.

Lettuce floats, is what I will remember from that experience.
 
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I had a sandwich in bath earlier.

Not the place (UK), but the tub, water, soap thing.

Lettuce floats, is what I will remember from that experience.
I found this doubly hilarious because I thought you were referencing Sandwich, which is also a place in the UK.

Not many people know about Sandwich, but I do, so I felt privy to a really good inside joke.

Then I finally realised I had had a total failure at reading comprehension, because you of course weren't meaning the town of Sandwich in Kent, because 'I had a sandwich in Bath' can only mean you had a sandwich in the city of Bath.

Or, you simply had a floaty lettuce sandwich in the bath, which is also pretty damn funny.
 

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I found this doubly hilarious because I thought you were referencing Sandwich, which is also a place in the UK.

Not many people know about Sandwich, but I do, so I felt privy to a really good inside joke.
Just did some research and I see it is sandwiched between several -boroughs and the North Sea, so I understand why it has gone under the radar a bit.

Then I finally realised I had had a total failure at reading comprehension, because you of course weren't meaning the town of Sandwich in Kent, because 'I had a sandwich in Bath' can only mean you had a sandwich in the city of Bath.

Or, you simply had a floaty lettuce sandwich in the bath, which is also pretty damn funny.
You can have a bath in Sandwich or a sandwich in Bath, but obviously not a Sandwich in Bath or a Bath in Sandwich. That runs into Reading and Marlborough. So I say: just take your lunch to the tub and recline with a good book and a cigarette.

Or take a shower.
 

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Not many people know about Sandwich, but I do, so I felt privy to a really good inside joke.
It's actually common knowledge in the US that the sandwich was invented by the Earl of Sandwich, and when most people hear Earl of <some place>, it's almost assumed to be some rich/royal guy in Britain.
 

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Decided not to go on the seniors bus trip and barbecue. Three hours on the bus EACH WAY, through the roller coaster mountains.

My idea of a nice outing is going someplace nearby in my own car (as long as there are no parking problems), staying for less than an hour, and going home.

I've been thinking a lot about similar decisions and preferences. I realize I'm a fussy person.
 
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