"Confidant" thread

6365 Views 44 Replies 22 Participants Last post by Dalien, Feb 1, 2011

Jasette

Discussion Starter · Jan 23, 2011

Hopefully I'm not out of line here, but I felt it might be helpful to have a central place for INFJs to go to confide in each other - to either receive help, or just get something off our chests. This can be a place to vent, confess or wallow, a place to work out our problems with each other. Because after all, we are the "confidants!" And surely, as introverted, intuitive feelers, we have our problems to work out...

Sometimes we may not feel our issues warrant a new thread. This is a topic for those issues! Hooray!

Go forth, confide and help each other!

I'll go first... a confession! Since I'm not in the mood to rant: put simply, I'm 20 (and a half) years old and I've never been kissed. Boo.

EDIT: Of course, people of other types can come get help here too, if they like.

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Zomboy

· #2 · Jan 23, 2011

No posts? Well, that's a shame. I suppose I will be the first.

I'd like to openly apologize for those I offended during my tirade almost a week ago. I have been losing sleep over how much you guys might hate me right now.

When I go on the internet, I go to two places: Facebook, and here. In my previous post I mentioned that I felt too ashamed to post here again. But, no matter the amount of shame I feel, unfortunately it would appear as though I have an addiction to this place. It seems apparent now that leaving by choice is not an option.

At the same time, I feel awful because I fear that I'll do it again. So, as for now, I'm going to generally avoid the INFJ forum and post elsewhere. I wish I could promise that I won't act like an outrageous asshole again, but I value honesty too much to be able to make that promise sincere.

So, once again, the hypocritical, narcissistic, sarcasm-driven Zomboy is back. And unfortunately for you, I'm here to stay.

Well, until the mods get smart enough to ban me, anyway.

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Vegalyp Gamalona Gole

· #3 · Jan 23, 2011

Well...I guess I shall start it off. I am going through a period in my life where I have an intense hatred for everyone. I have recently been in a mental health centre for aggressive behaviour and violent outbursts. I have tried killing myself before, and struggle with depression on a daily basis. Yeah that's my crappy life.

Reactions: 5

Vaan

· #4 · Jan 23, 2011

Zomboy said:
No posts? Well, that's a shame. I suppose I will be the first.

I'd like to openly apologize for those I offended during my tirade almost a week ago. I have been losing sleep over how much you guys might hate me right now.

When I go on the internet, I go to two places: Facebook, and here. In my previous post I mentioned that I felt too ashamed to post here again. But, no matter the amount of shame I feel, unfortunately it would appear as though I have an addiction to this place. It seems apparent now that leaving by choice is not an option.

At the same time, I feel awful because I fear that I'll do it again. So, as for now, I'm going to generally avoid the INFJ forum and post elsewhere. I wish I could promise that I won't act like an outrageous asshole again, but I value honesty too much to be able to make that promise sincere.

So, once again, the hypocritical, narcissistic, sarcasm-driven Zomboy is back. And unfortunately for you, I'm here to stay.

Well, until the mods get smart enough to ban me, anyway.

didnt read the post so i got over it pretty quick

i have the impression that life is a sea of tiny events, you can smother that one drop of mistake with the tides of the good ones you have, if that waterdrop falls on someones head and the good drops dont and they cannot accept that people have good and bad in them then that is their loss ^^

Reactions: 3

Jasette

Discussion Starter · #5 · Jan 23, 2011

Vegalyp Gamalona Gole said:
Well...I guess I shall start it off. I am going through a period in my life where I have an intense hatred for everyone. I have recently been in a mental health centre for aggressive behaviour and violent outbursts. I have tried killing myself before, and struggle with depression on a daily basis. Yeah that's my crappy life.

This was likely just a confession post, but do you have a psychiatrist you like who is helping you figure out why you feel the way you do, and how to feel better?

bobdaduck

· #6 · Jan 23, 2011

I don't know any of you on a personal enough level to consider confiding in you. I'm sorry.

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Jasette

Discussion Starter · #7 · Jan 23, 2011

I understand, and there's really no need to apologize.

Personally, in case it's in need of clarification, I sort of felt it might be nice for people (including myself) to have a place to go... to confide in a harmless stranger, like a priest's confessional without the implied religion. INFJs are often classified as confidants or advisors, so I thought it would be fitting. That's just where I'm coming from.

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jack london

· #8 · Jan 23, 2011

I'm not an INFJ but I think your post is a brilliant idea. Its always nice to have a place to vent a little and have others chime in if they can help out a little bit.

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Zero_Origin

· #9 · Jan 23, 2011

Zomboy said:
And unfortunately for you, I'm here to stay.

Whatya talkin' bout Willis? It's good to have you back :happy:

Reactions: 2

Vegalyp Gamalona Gole

· #10 · Jan 23, 2011

Jasette said:
This was likely just a confession post, but do you have a psychiatrist you like who is helping you figure out why you feel the way you do, and how to feel better?

Yes and I am on medication, but I honestly don't feel better. I haven't told my parents this because I don't want them to worry.

fairytales

· #11 · Jan 23, 2011 (Edited)

Nice thread idea Jasette :happy:

put simply, I'm 20 (and a half) years old and I've never been kissed. Boo.

It will happen! And anyway, its overrated. I remember feeling like I was missing out big time for not having been kissed. I felt a bit like I was inferior to other people who had. Then my first kiss.. eurgh.. I wish I had held back for something more special!

I'd like to openly apologize for those I offended during my tirade almost a week ago. I have been losing sleep over how much you guys might hate me right now.

Zomboy, I didnt see the post you are referring to but Im sure nobody holds it against you, we all make mistakes

I am going through a period in my life where I have an intense hatred for everyone. I have recently been in a mental health centre for aggressive behaviour and violent outbursts. I have tried killing myself before, and struggle with depression on a daily basis. Yeah that's my crappy life.

Im so sorry to read this; I hope things take a turn for the better for you. I havent had the same kind of issues involving anger, but I have had depression and seeing a therapist really turned my life around. Its worth investing in.

As for my vent.. Im so uncertain what I want to do in life; I thought I had it sorted, but now Im rethinking everything.

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krnjason

· #12 · Jan 23, 2011

I've been in several relationships, yet they've never progressed far enough as to where I was comfortable to ever utter the words "I love you". Nor do my relationships last very long for some reason... longest 7 months... :/

I'm also at a point in my life where I thought psychedelics would provide me with all my internal conflicting answers, but I'm beginning to find out that the people in my life are there to provide me with the same happiness and answers that I strive for from Psychedelics.

Same as the OP, I'm nearing 21 and with one more year left with college, I have no clue what I want to do.

Reactions: 1

Jasette

Discussion Starter · #13 · Jan 23, 2011

Vegalyp Gamalona Gole said:
Yes and I am on medication, but I honestly don't feel better. I haven't told my parents this because I don't want them to worry.

Medication is only half of it, though. Do you have someone you can fully vent and work through your issues with? Talking it out can help you discover why you don't feel better... a lot of the time it's not just chemicals, but also a mental blockade. And it's something you can't really, fully do online, especially in serious cases... a professional therapist might help if you don't have one?

I've actually been thinking about getting a therapist (or maybe psychiatrist) for about a couple of year now... sometimes my Fe is so out of control, I will start crying at the worst time... I don't feel depressed overall, but there are times when I'm really nervous that I really feel like I lose control, and I don't know why I can't keep it together.

fairytales and kmjason, I'm the same way with my life after university. It's pretty bad, since I'm a freaking theatre major. Hahaha. I'd love to get into a masters college for theatre, but I don't have the body type for most acceptances right out of college... sooo... @[email protected] I'm up the creek without a paddle! Luckily I do have another year and a bit to figure things out, but... time always goes so quickly for me. ;__;

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Cirion

· #14 · Jan 23, 2011 (Edited)

Jasette said:
Vegalyp Gamalona Gole said:

Yes and I am on medication, but I honestly don't feel better. I haven't told my parents this because I don't want them to worry.

Click to expand...

Medication is only half of it, though. Do you have someone you can fully vent and work through your issues with? Talking it out can help you discover why you don't feel better... a lot of the time it's not just chemicals, but also a mental blockade. And it's something you can't really, fully do online, especially in serious cases... a professional therapist might help if you don't have one?

My View on this is that chemicals might be needed to be able to treat someone, but the only thing they do i remove the symptoms, not the cause (in some cases it is a chemical imbalance though). I would say that seeing someone might be a good idea. Remember that you do have a right to ask for someone else if you don't feel like it is working.

Jasette said:
I've actually been thinking about getting a therapist (or maybe psychiatrist) for about a couple of year now... sometimes my Fe is so out of control, I will start crying at the worst time... I don't feel depressed overall, but there are times when I'm really nervous that I really feel like I lose control, and I don't know why I can't keep it together.

Seeing a therapist is always helpful in my opinion, no matter how "light" or "severe" your problem is, but then again, I am seriously biased since I am studying psychology.

Jasette said:
fairytales and kmjason, I'm the same way with my life after university. It's pretty bad, since I'm a freaking theatre major. Hahaha. I'd love to get into a masters college for theatre, but I don't have the body type for most acceptances right out of college... sooo... @[email protected] I'm up the creek without a paddle! Luckily I do have another year and a bit to figure things out, but... time always goes so quickly for me. ;__;

fairytales said:
As for my vent.. Im so uncertain what I want to do in life; I thought I had it sorted, but now Im rethinking everything.

Isn't this what life is about really? Not fully knowing exactly what we want until it hits us in the head with a brick?

I wouldn't worry too much about it, it will come and we will always find something to do while we are searching, it might take us a long time but sooner or later that brick will hit us. For example, in my class right now I have a 49 year old, very successful lawyer that decided that he couldn't do it anymore, it just wasn't him anymore. He decided that he wanted a more hands on approach and started studying psychology.

General rant that just came to me while typing the reply: We should be more like Argentina in the case of mental health, there is 16 000 psychologist in Buenos Aires alone, a city of 5 million inhabitants. Half of Buenos Aires population have visited a psychologist, in all of Argentina, that number is about a third. It sort of got sidetracked with that, but I wish that the social stigma about seeing a therapist/psychologist/psychiatrist/whatever that still prevails in our society in some degree would llift.

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Jasette

Discussion Starter · #15 · Jan 23, 2011

Honestly, my issue with seeing a therapist or psychologist (or any variant thereof) has nothing to do with social stigmas, since I'm weird enough already. Besides, my dad is a psychiatrist for the criminally insane, so I have nothing against the craft at all...

It's really just a matter of time... and will. I don't have my driver's licence and the public transportation in my university's town is absolute crap, so it would probably be very difficult to shop around and find someone I like. I might, maybe, see if I can do it during the summer when I'm home, though.

The problem is really that I'd much rather nap or sit around watching TV than be proactive about my mental health. I'll get around to it... eventually. I know that's a terrible excuse, but, well, it's my excuse. Besides, I'm able to function just fine, and as I said, I'm not feeling especially depressed. So I don't think the situation is really urgent enough.

Cirion

· #16 · Jan 23, 2011

Jasette said:
Honestly, my issue with seeing a therapist or psychologist (or any variant thereof) has nothing to do with social stigmas, since I'm weird enough already. Besides, my dad is a psychiatrist for the criminally insane, so I have nothing against the craft at all...

It wasn't really directed at you, though the way I put it made it look like that, my mistake. It was more of a general rant that just came.

Jasette said:
It's really just a matter of time... and will. I don't have my driver's licence and the public transportation in my university's town is absolute crap, so it would probably be very difficult to shop around and find someone I like. I might, maybe, see if I can do it during the summer when I'm home, though.

The problem is really that I'd much rather nap or sit around watching TV than be proactive about my mental health. I'll get around to it... eventually. I know that's a terrible excuse, but, well, it's my excuse.

My question to this would have to be, why do you feel like you have to have an excuse for it? It is your life, and you decide what you want to do with it, and besides if you weren't really motivated and just went to see someone to see someone, then the results wouldn't be as good as they could be.

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fairytales

· #17 · Jan 23, 2011

It's really just a matter of time... and will. I don't have my driver's licence and the public transportation in my university's town is absolute crap, so it would probably be very difficult to shop around and find someone I like. I might, maybe, see if I can do it during the summer when I'm home, though.

The problem is really that I'd much rather nap or sit around watching TV than be proactive about my mental health. I'll get around to it... eventually. I know that's a terrible excuse, but, well, it's my excuse. Besides, I'm able to function just fine, and as I said, I'm not feeling especially depressed. So I don't think the situation is really urgent enough.

Its not really a question of 'needing it enough' though.Therapy can benefit everyone, as long as your willing to accept the change.Therapists in training have to have personal therapy on a weekly basis.Although, Surely better to do something now than to let it get to a drastic stage?
Does your university offer counselling? Most of them give you 6 free sessions and then point you towards further sessions if you need them. Its worth going for the initial meeting, even if you dont choose to take it further?

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Cirion

· #18 · Jan 23, 2011

Just realized that I hadn't put anything in here myself.
I just recently came out of a depression and had a gambling problem the last 3-4 months (sort of an off-shoot from the depression) and gambled away quite a bit of money. I haven't told anyone in my closest circle about it yet, but I guess I will soon, nothing good will come from me holding it for too long.

I have managed to stop it now and is working through it by myself. Now I just think the irony of me, who is studying to become a psychologist couldn't help myself at first is quite "funny". I guess it just proves that we are humans with our flaws and faults like everyone else

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Trifoilum

· #19 · Jan 23, 2011

*hugs everyone here*

Each of us have our own problems, and I hope each of us won't be beaten by life.
I hope everyone will be strong !

Including me.

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FairlyCalvinist

· #20 · Jan 23, 2011

Cirion said:
Just realized that I hadn't put anything in here myself.
I just recently came out of a depression and had a gambling problem the last 3-4 months (sort of an off-shoot from the depression) and gambled away quite a bit of money. I haven't told anyone in my closest circle about it yet, but I guess I will soon, nothing good will come from me holding it for too long.

I have managed to stop it now and is working through it by myself. Now I just think the irony of me, who is studying to become a psychologist couldn't help myself at first is quite "funny". I guess it just proves that we are humans with our flaws and faults like everyone else

It can make you a better psychologist/counsellor, if you choose. I think it's a good thing for those who help others to know what it means to need and accept help. To work through it, and know how very hard the whole process is. Otherwise, I think it's easy to misunderstand and do more damage than good.

It can also make it harder to be a counsellor once you've experienced difficulties, b/c your work can become intensely personal. It requires a high level of self-monitoring. Very good to look into the use of self literature, if you're interested.

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