Personality Cafe banner

1 - 8 of 8 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
48 Posts
Discussion Starter #1
I'm not sure why but if I know that if there is someone who is feeling awkward in a social situation (Usually the feelings I have) I get more confident. Happen to anyone else? Any way to bypass the need for someone else to feel awkward for me to feel confident? (I hope this hasn't been discussed before. I'm new)
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,606 Posts
Could you explain a little more about what goes through your head when you notice that someone else is feeling awkward?
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
3,610 Posts
Happens to me too. I guess I don't feel a danger of being excluded or judged for being awkward if the other person is in a similar boat.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
48 Posts
Discussion Starter #4
Ummm... let's see. Mainly what goes through my head is that the invisible social pressures, ties and competitions are now all on someone else. I'm not sure if that makes sense but it seems like they are always on me. (I know I make up some of these things but I'm not sure how to overcome that)
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,224 Posts
Maybe it's actually a kind of empathy.
You know how bad it is for that person yourself enough for you to be glad it's not you.
It's what you do with that power that matters.
Do you try to make it less awkward for them or do you use them to temperately boost your confidence to get what you want?
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
915 Posts
Here is my little poem I wrote about an awkward social situation...

Elevator
Like two empty glasses,
we are moving up,
so many words,
and we have nothing to say.
Like two empty glasses,
we are moving up,
our eyes fencing all around,
not to ever meet.
Me and you,
we are moving up,
Two people, but completely mute.
Who am I and who are you?
To this day no one knows.

I hate ending up with strangers somewhere, where I should interact with them, ideally doing small talk (which I hate) so I am just being awkward and wait till somebody starts.... I usually try to participate when the other person starts... If there is a group interacting, I am just hiding away and am glad that they are not trying to include me into unwanted conversation. Still learning to be "social", over the few years I have made enormous progress...
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
48 Posts
Discussion Starter #7
I haven't used it for evil as of yet. Just the knowledge of it is comforting for me. I think it helps my Ne to come out. However, I do think I use the knowledge to help the person out, depending on if they are my friends or not. I don't know if I would help out a non-friend cause that hasn't happened yet. I think I would use it with empathy though mostly. Although, to be honest, I don't get that confidence very much.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
4,124 Posts
I'm not sure why but if I know that if there is someone who is feeling awkward in a social situation (Usually the feelings I have) I get more confident. Happen to anyone else? Any way to bypass the need for someone else to feel awkward for me to feel confident? (I hope this hasn't been discussed before. I'm new)
Well yeah..

Probably the cause of lack of confidence in social situations in not knowing how the other person is perceiving you, or knowing what they are thinking.

For people I can read, then it's easy, people I can't read I will feel ill at ease with I guess
 
1 - 8 of 8 Posts
Top