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I am having alot of trouble with someone who I think is an ESFj. She frequently will act like shes the smartest person on the planet because she gets straight A's (which is fine) but then treats me like I'm stupid because I dont get good grades. If you know anything about ENTp's, you'll know that our grades don't necessarily reflect our intelligence. She'll be very courteous to me one day and then the next will flip the switch and make my life miserable. She has managed to get the rest of the class to dislike me also and now I dont know what to do! We're all seniors so its not a maturity issue. Does anyone have any advice for what I can do to get along with this girl? Do you other ESFj's often find yourself in conflicting relations with ENTp's?
 

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I don't think it comes down to personality types anymore. She seems to be picking on you for other reasons. Maybe because she sees you as an easier target?

and even though you're a senior, maturity can be an issue and it's always an issue everywhere. College students will also admit to being immature.

I suggest that you grab her out of the class and talk to her one on one and make her give you a reason why she's doing the things she's doing, it helps to actually let her know about it and how it makes it seem to the whole class that she's making you feel inferior compared to her or she's making the rest of the class hate you.
 

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As an entp ESTJ annoy me. I have the same problem. They expect us to do what they want when they want it how they want it. It seems like there flaunting there perfectnest around just to piss me off.
 

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I'm an ENTP and if I try to be myself around an ESFJ I always have problems with them, it's like we get into a popularity contest and I win because I'm a kook and excited about things and always have big ideas. but I don't have the follow through or the attention to detail to really earn their respect. I've learned that the best way to make friends with them if you absolutely have to is to just be quiet and let them mother you, ESFJs seem to be most comfortable in that role.

On the other hand the girl you're describing could be an ESTJ which is a different situation. In general extroverted guardians are very protective of existing standards and traditions. If you stand out in verbal discussions in class and in general come off to other students and to teachers as a bright student but dont do well in your grades an ESTJ or an ESFJ for that matter could be very confused and frustrated by you. Your popularity could be an insult to the standards that they hold dear which could be a reason this girl is rubbing it in your face that you get bad grades, she's trying to make you make sense in her reality.

Eventually as your secondary T function grows you'll be able to connect better with ESTJs and at least share some similar goals, with ESFJs, I don't know what to tell you. I just try not to get in their way and I usually enjoy their presence in groups because they're so active and they make things happen. I just know that it's not easy for me to be best friends with them.
 

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Hey wait a moment...I don't think this has anything to do with personality types at all either! I think this girl is just arrogant and insecure and wants to make you look stupid and because she may see you as soft and an easy target as haag says - I would say follow her advice and have a one-to-one with her. Bullies at the core are really unhappy with themselves, and most times they are jealous of you in some way!
 

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From my experience, all types in general but SJs in particular hate it when they can't 'get' you or where you are coming from, but they for sure don't want you to know anything about them. As was mentioned, it might be the way you say things, with me I automatically use excessive eloquence for normal sentences or unusual words that might not be used often in everyday life, and have made other people uncomfortable as a result.
I know this because they specifically made a big deal of pointing out that I am only trying to draw attention to myself to which I reply that if they are making that accusation, never mind not having any tangible evidence, they are the insecure ones with themselves to have to point out someones above 6th grade level vocabulary is making them feel inferior. Guess what, you judged yourself and yes you are inferior, glad I did not even need to explain this to you.

This is a direct quote from an ISTJ:
If I were to talk about myself then that would lead you to the illusion of knowing "who I am".. I will not let this happen. So therefore, I will not talk about myself... "Put that in your pipe and smoke it"

Moving on, do like what the ESTJ said and confront verbally and then when she tells the whole class and really alienates you I would direct you to what I do in these situations. Post number 15
http://personalitycafe.com/entp-forum-visionaries/18934-entp-rage-behavior.html#post374233

You won't have any other problems from any classmates and I would also imagine anyone in the entire school after you take care of the problem properly in a way that is physically evident.:laughing:
Remember the golden rule. I treat others as they have shown by actions and attitude that they wish to be treated, and am only too happy to oblige giving due recompense for their error. Attitudes befitting worthless scum are not to be tolerated after repentance is not manifest. Grind her into the floor then wipe the school toilets with her hair and stuff it in her mouth then duct tape it shut forcing her to gag on her own hair repeatedly.

Hope you get better :proud:

cheers
 

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I am having alot of trouble with someone who I think is an ESFj. She frequently will act like shes the smartest person on the planet because she gets straight A's (which is fine) but then treats me like I'm stupid because I dont get good grades. If you know anything about ENTp's, you'll know that our grades don't necessarily reflect our intelligence. She'll be very courteous to me one day and then the next will flip the switch and make my life miserable. She has managed to get the rest of the class to dislike me also and now I dont know what to do! We're all seniors so its not a maturity issue. Does anyone have any advice for what I can do to get along with this girl? Do you other ESFj's often find yourself in conflicting relations with ENTp's?
my sister is an esfj and she just seems to have this thing where she feels the need to promote herself all the time. like " i'm the goody twoshoe shooiest bestest person on the planet" and loves throwing it out there what a messy hairbrained schemed loser i am.these small little digs that are designed so that if i pull her on it she can pretend she was only joking. she does this thing of making a statement that sounds like a question. i call it upspeaking at the end of her sentences. u know like those annoying american bimbo types do?we're irish we don't talk like that. stop trying to be an american bimbo!!!!:angry: the fakeness of it makes me want to just run straight out the door when she is around. don't get me started about family reunions, the fakeness gets turned up to maximum goody twoshoe iness. every single statement starts to sound like a question. it's like she's looking for ur approval or something. they always need the approval of others so u have to put it down to low self esteem and point and laugh.:tongue:
 

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I'm an ENTP and if I try to be myself around an ESFJ I always have problems with them, it's like we get into a popularity contest and I win because I'm a kook and excited about things and always have big ideas. but I don't have the follow through or the attention to detail to really earn their respect. I've learned that the best way to make friends with them if you absolutely have to is to just be quiet and let them mother you, ESFJs seem to be most comfortable in that role.

On the other hand the girl you're describing could be an ESTJ which is a different situation. In general extroverted guardians are very protective of existing standards and traditions. If you stand out in verbal discussions in class and in general come off to other students and to teachers as a bright student but dont do well in your grades an ESTJ or an ESFJ for that matter could be very confused and frustrated by you. Your popularity could be an insult to the standards that they hold dear which could be a reason this girl is rubbing it in your face that you get bad grades, she's trying to make you make sense in her reality.

Eventually as your secondary T function grows you'll be able to connect better with ESTJs and at least share some similar goals, with ESFJs, I don't know what to tell you. I just try not to get in their way and I usually enjoy their presence in groups because they're so active and they make things happen. I just know that it's not easy for me to be best friends with them.

yes i agree! she actually tidied my room a few weeks back! (i'm 31) she gave it a good and proper clean too. something i never would have done. sure she felt all superior to me but hey i got my room cleaned!:laughing:

it's a mess now again tho, u'd never guess she had been anywhere near it!
 

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As pointed out earlier, i also don't think this has anything to do with type at all. This girl is just a bitch, gosh, i'd like to slap her.

I have never had any major problems with ENTPs, in fact i enjoy being around them. I like their quirky/crazy mind and they (well, he) seems to like me for some reason. Hmmm.
 

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I have lately realized that the two people I can remember in the last 20 years whom I would consider my arch-nemeses were both ESFJ's.

Oil and water. I'm sure it seemed that way to them as well.

I think the nicest thing we had to say to each other was "shut the fuck up" and it went downhill from there.

:laughing:
 
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