Hi all,
I'm new here, but am so amazed at how I fin so much of myself in so many of the ISTJ posts here. I was wondering whether any of you have experience with conflicts with ESFJ people and how to avoid them.
As an ISTJ, I prefer to do things by myself, in my own particular perfectionist way. I have never had remarks on the work I do: I work long hours, am very organized and make sure everything is taken care of. However, some time ago I was called into a meeting with my boss and found my ESFJ colleague there as well. I was told she felt like I was treating her badly: wasn't interested in her and did not involve her in anything. At the time I was absolutely gobsmacked, because on top of that my boss told me I should be happy my colleague told me about her issues since I would be able "to work on my personality". I felt like this was a personal attack and it had nothing to do with my professional performance. Ever since I have closed up even more on my colleague.
Some time after that she was appointed team leader: no-one saw it coming, but she is now checking up on everything, has to approve our holidays, etc. Ever since, I have closed up on her even more.
In the personality description I have read that ESFJs really need approval from others: I have to admit that I often find myself annoyed with her annoying chatter about Tupperware parties etc and cannot make the effort to show interest in her. I have also noticed that they can be quite manipulative...
How do I tackle this?
I'm new here, but am so amazed at how I fin so much of myself in so many of the ISTJ posts here. I was wondering whether any of you have experience with conflicts with ESFJ people and how to avoid them.
As an ISTJ, I prefer to do things by myself, in my own particular perfectionist way. I have never had remarks on the work I do: I work long hours, am very organized and make sure everything is taken care of. However, some time ago I was called into a meeting with my boss and found my ESFJ colleague there as well. I was told she felt like I was treating her badly: wasn't interested in her and did not involve her in anything. At the time I was absolutely gobsmacked, because on top of that my boss told me I should be happy my colleague told me about her issues since I would be able "to work on my personality". I felt like this was a personal attack and it had nothing to do with my professional performance. Ever since I have closed up even more on my colleague.
Some time after that she was appointed team leader: no-one saw it coming, but she is now checking up on everything, has to approve our holidays, etc. Ever since, I have closed up on her even more.
In the personality description I have read that ESFJs really need approval from others: I have to admit that I often find myself annoyed with her annoying chatter about Tupperware parties etc and cannot make the effort to show interest in her. I have also noticed that they can be quite manipulative...
How do I tackle this?