Personality Cafe banner

1 - 4 of 4 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
5 Posts
Discussion Starter #1
tl;dr: i'm confused about how Fe and Fi are manifested in a personality, particularly in their experiences with and expressions of empathy. maybe you guys could help me clear that up?

when i first learned about MBTI, i consistently tested as INTJ and related to its descriptions. as i've gotten older, i feel that i am further and further away from these descriptions, which i think is fair because i'm sure they serve more as general outlines of personalities so the specifics aren't as... important.
however, as i've become more and more developed emotionally - through what at first began as conscious attempts at self-improvement through adopting certain habits but now feel so natural i question whether i've just fully integrated these manners or if this has been my natural personality all along - i have become less and less certain of whether or not my function stack includes Fi or Fe. mostly, i can't quite tell for sure if i'm an INTJ or an INFJ. i've been typed as both INTJ and INFJ by others before. if i understand correctly, and it is likely that i do not, a Fi user and a Fe user with the same values may appear alike?
regardless of the truth of that, i just don't know what i relate to more so i was hoping by listing some things about myself, someone else more knowledgeable about the functions might be able to identify their use:
  • in stressful situations that involve myself and others, i think i automatically remove myself - or at least my feelings - from the situation. the sole focus becomes determining and then attaining a resolution. whatever feelings i am experiencing are suppressed, though i don't feel good about it.
  • i am put off by selfishness and brusqueness, especially when it is unabashed and/or deliberate. this is for two reasons: (1) i do not find it is useful or helpful in most social situations and (2) i don't know how else to explain it other than that i have very little respect for such traits in moral terms... (at the risk of sounding silly, i just think there is not enough kindness going around...? i think it's much easier to be cynical/cold/unforgiving and much harder to maintain a consideration for others. along with that, i feel that a lack of empathy reflects immaturity; i don't think frigidity serves well in most social contexts and to lean into it reflects a lack of experience with others and/or a stubbornness in continually engaging in such behavior even when it has repeatedly yielded poor results. but fuck, just typing this makes me feel disgustingly self-righteous :/)
  • i think sometimes i am disturbed by the depths of my own coldness, mostly because i think i value warmth so much. back when i was a kid, my "best friend" of the time told another friend of ours who was trying to get to know me better that, "people like (x), (x) just doesn't like them back." i recognize the hypocrisy of this vs. all the shit i said about being kind and warm, but i think that is one of the few observations about myself made by someone else that has felt true (though i didn't realize the extent of that truth at the time). i don't know how to explain this contradiction as i do genuinely care for people and thrive on connections with others, but i think i would have little trouble leaving for another country without saying goodbye to most people i know. i think i would probably miss them from time to time - i'm not a robot after all - but i think it'd be more likely that i'd miss them for what they'd come to represent (the known parts of the world, my past, etc.) rather than to them specifically, as individuals. sometimes i wonder if my interest in the mechanics of other people is borne of genuine interest or because i think understanding/exploring other people might further my own self-exploration... or both? i don't know if that speaks to any preferences in cognitive functions or just to my social situation, though.
  • i am very easily moved emotionally.
  • in most situations, i do prioritize others' feelings above my own, even at my own expense. i have voluntarily placed myself in an uncomfortable position many many times to make others feel more comfortable, though i never enjoy it and go into it knowing i will, in a way, regret it.
  • i think the people most interesting to me are those who are emotionally honest and articulate, or at least people who are interested in having emotionally open conversations about themselves, others, our personal relationships with others, as well as our relationships with humanity.
  • though i do not always feel comfortable expressing how i feel through tone or body language - for me, this is usually the case with... "negative" emotions like anger or annoyance - i am comfortable being verbally honest about how i feel if i am asked directly. this is true especially when i cannot pinpoint the reason for my feelings, as from time to time i have become irrationally irritated or frustrated, i usually withdraw to mull it over and ride the feeling out on my own. i think it is okay to feel a certain way without a rational cause, though what you do with the feeling is what matters (whether you involve others, typically to detrimental effects, or hold yourself to personal responsibility).
  • i do avoid confrontation for the most part, though i don't have any trouble instigating it if i feel truly threatened and/or i don't care about whomever i'm engaging in confrontation with. i have noticed that in most intense arguments, i tend to become very cold and blunt. in a more dramatic way, it feels like honing in on a target. in situations that i do avoid confrontation, though, it is usually because (1) i have little to gain and likely more to lose from it and (2) to appease others. i do not revel in being disliked.
  • i think i am often compelled to test(?) people, particularly people i am getting to know. not intellectually, but i think i spend a lot of time observing people and the way they react to certain things said or done and my natural instinct points me towards inserting myself in this... examination? i don't like the idea of thinking of myself as a manipulative person, and i don't think i really am, but i do find myself changing body language or tone to see what happens, or at least wanting to / thinking about the possibilities. i think i am curious about what people want or expect from me (especially if i feel that they are reading me too) and the way in which i respond depends a lot on my mood and/or what i want from them. i've done this both consciously and unconsciously (realizing only after the interaction).
  • i feel as though, when i was younger, i knew myself a lot more in a way... more recently, i wonder if the reverse is true now. i think i usually do know how i feel, or at least, what i am leaning towards feeling, but i don't find myself thinking about it as much as i did when i was younger and more focused on my sense of self / maintaining and cultivating some sort of individuality. but i don't know whether to attribute this shift to a greater familiarity with myself that has come with the years or to preferences in cognitive functions.
i feel as though articulating all this makes me ... emotionally methodical? but it doesn't feel that way. not sure if that makes sense.
anyway, thanks. even if you can't be bothered reading all this but can offer up some Fe/Fi explanations, i'd appreciate it.
 

·
Registered
INTJ
Joined
·
203 Posts
INTJ and INFJ are the most common mistypes. It's like they make up 5% of world and 30% of test results and then people say "wow that's me I do think about the world". That's just something to be aware of. These sorts of big posts are harder to pinpoint than the questionnaire though. It's like you are just giving unprompted adjectives.

I would say you are way more Fi than you might imagine. Also the dichotomy shouldn't be INTJ or INFJ if you are asking about feeling. It should be INFP and INFJ or ISFP and ISFJ. If you really think feeling is a big part of you so much that it turns you from INTJ to INFP, I would suggest you either lead with it or it is the auxiliary.

  • in stressful situations that involve myself and others, i think i automatically remove myself - or at least my feelings - from the situation. the sole focus becomes determining and then attaining a resolution. whatever feelings i am experiencing are suppressed, though i don't feel good about it.
  • i am put off by selfishness and brusqueness, especially when it is unabashed and/or deliberate. this is for two reasons: (1) i do not find it is useful or helpful in most social situations and (2) i don't know how else to explain it other than that i have very little respect for such traits in moral terms... (at the risk of sounding silly, i just think there is not enough kindness going around...? i think it's much easier to be cynical/cold/unforgiving and much harder to maintain a consideration for others. along with that, i feel that a lack of empathy reflects immaturity; i don't think frigidity serves well in most social contexts and to lean into it reflects a lack of experience with others and/or a stubbornness in continually engaging in such behavior even when it has repeatedly yielded poor results. but fuck, just typing this makes me feel disgustingly self-righteous :/)
  • i think sometimes i am disturbed by the depths of my own coldness, mostly because i think i value warmth so much. back when i was a kid, my "best friend" of the time told another friend of ours who was trying to get to know me better that, "people like (x), (x) just doesn't like them back." i recognize the hypocrisy of this vs. all the shit i said about being kind and warm, but i think that is one of the few observations about myself made by someone else that has felt true (though i didn't realize the extent of that truth at the time). i don't know how to explain this contradiction as i do genuinely care for people and thrive on connections with others, but i think i would have little trouble leaving for another country without saying goodbye to most people i know. i think i would probably miss them from time to time - i'm not a robot after all - but i think it'd be more likely that i'd miss them for what they'd come to represent (the known parts of the world, my past, etc.) rather than to them specifically, as individuals. sometimes i wonder if my interest in the mechanics of other people is borne of genuine interest or because i think understanding/exploring other people might further my own self-exploration... or both? i don't know if that speaks to any preferences in cognitive functions or just to my social situation, though.
  • i am very easily moved emotionally.
  • in most situations, i do prioritize others' feelings above my own, even at my own expense. i have voluntarily placed myself in an uncomfortable position many many times to make others feel more comfortable, though i never enjoy it and go into it knowing i will, in a way, regret it.
  • i think the people most interesting to me are those who are emotionally honest and articulate, or at least people who are interested in having emotionally open conversations about themselves, others, our personal relationships with others, as well as our relationships with humanity.
  • though i do not always feel comfortable expressing how i feel through tone or body language - for me, this is usually the case with... "negative" emotions like anger or annoyance - i am comfortable being verbally honest about how i feel if i am asked directly. this is true especially when i cannot pinpoint the reason for my feelings, as from time to time i have become irrationally irritated or frustrated, i usually withdraw to mull it over and ride the feeling out on my own. i think it is okay to feel a certain way without a rational cause, though what you do with the feeling is what matters (whether you involve others, typically to detrimental effects, or hold yourself to personal responsibility).
  • i do avoid confrontation for the most part, though i don't have any trouble instigating it if i feel truly threatened and/or i don't care about whomever i'm engaging in confrontation with. i have noticed that in most intense arguments, i tend to become very cold and blunt. in a more dramatic way, it feels like honing in on a target. in situations that i do avoid confrontation, though, it is usually because (1) i have little to gain and likely more to lose from it and (2) to appease others. i do not revel in being disliked.
  • i think i am often compelled to test(?) people, particularly people i am getting to know. not intellectually, but i think i spend a lot of time observing people and the way they react to certain things said or done and my natural instinct points me towards inserting myself in this... examination? i don't like the idea of thinking of myself as a manipulative person, and i don't think i really am, but i do find myself changing body language or tone to see what happens, or at least wanting to / thinking about the possibilities. i think i am curious about what people want or expect from me (especially if i feel that they are reading me too) and the way in which i respond depends a lot on my mood and/or what i want from them. i've done this both consciously and unconsciously (realizing only after the interaction).
  • i feel as though, when i was younger, i knew myself a lot more in a way... more recently, i wonder if the reverse is true now. i think i usually do know how i feel, or at least, what i am leaning towards feeling, but i don't find myself thinking about it as much as i did when i was younger and more focused on my sense of self / maintaining and cultivating some sort of individuality. but i don't know whether to attribute this shift to a greater familiarity with myself that has come with the years or to preferences in cognitive functions.
i feel as though articulating all this makes me ... emotionally methodical? but it doesn't feel that way. not sure if that makes sense.
anyway, thanks. even if you can't be bothered reading all this but can offer up some Fe/Fi explanations, i'd appreciate it.
You are not being emotionally methodical dumping a wall of unprompted and unorganized self-assessments. You are either INFP or ISFP. There is some common ground between Fi and Fe since they are both F types, but you much more consistently show Fi than Fe. I can't remark on N or S since you only focused on Fi vs Fe. I mean to me you just sound like ISFP, but that's only my guess based on the vibe.

Particularly this statement screams Fi and for sure not Te. That you do have an opinion on things but would rather withdraw and that only in pressing circumstances will you fight suggests you are not a Te (or rather that it would be very low in the stack).

  • i do avoid confrontation for the most part,
Here is a quote from Jung on Fi.

"They are mostly silent, inaccessible, hard to understand; often they hide
behind a childish or banal mask, and their temperament is inclined to
melancholy. They neither shine nor reveal themselves. As they are mainly
guided by their subjective feelings, their true motives generally remain
hidden. Their outward demeanour is harmonious, inconspicuous, giving an
impression of pleasing repose, or of sympathetic response, with no desire
to affect others, to impress, influence, or change them in any way."
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
5 Posts
Discussion Starter #3
INTJ and INFJ are the most common mistypes. It's like they make up 5% of world and 30% of test results and then people say "wow that's me I do think about the world". That's just something to be aware of. These sorts of big posts are harder to pinpoint than the questionnaire though. It's like you are just giving unprompted adjectives.

I would say you are way more Fi than you might imagine. Also the dichotomy shouldn't be INTJ or INFJ if you are asking about feeling. It should be INFP and INFJ or ISFP and ISFJ. If you really think feeling is a big part of you so much that it turns you from INTJ to INFP, I would suggest you either lead with it or it is the auxiliary.
agreed about the mistyping. I've been largely reluctant about calling myself any type because of it and to be honest, I haven't returned to MBTI in a long while because of this confusion. self-isolation/quarantine is giving me a lot of time to think, though.

I hope it doesn't come off as combative or defensive, but I really only focused on feeling so much because it's the differences between Fe and Fi that elude me most. I've never had any doubt about my Ni/Se use and past threads I've used to inquire more about that axis have reinforced that confidence.

You are not being emotionally methodical dumping a wall of unprompted and unorganized self-assessments. You are either INFP or ISFP. There is some common ground between Fi and Fe since they are both F types, but you much more consistently show Fi than Fe. I can't remark on N or S since you only focused on Fi vs Fe. I mean to me you just sound like ISFP, but that's only my guess based on the vibe.
...
Here is a quote from Jung on Fi.

"They are mostly silent, inaccessible, hard to understand; often they hide
behind a childish or banal mask, and their temperament is inclined to
melancholy. They neither shine nor reveal themselves. As they are mainly
guided by their subjective feelings, their true motives generally remain
hidden. Their outward demeanour is harmonious, inconspicuous, giving an
impression of pleasing repose, or of sympathetic response, with no desire
to affect others, to impress, influence, or change them in any way."
thank you for this. could I ask then, beyond relation to myself and just for my own understanding, how Fe is different from what is described in that quote? Fe values that same harmony, right?

again, thanks.
 

·
Registered
INTJ
Joined
·
203 Posts
Fe is more emotionally forward and willing to change to accommodate to external situations. Here is a little of what Jung says and for Fe he uses a woman as an example.

"
But one can feel “correctly” only when feeling is not disturbed by
anything else. Nothing disturbs feeling so much as thinking. It is therefore
understandable that in this type thinking will be kept in abeyance as much
as possible. This does not mean that the woman does not think at all; on
the contrary, she may think a great deal and very cleverly, but her thinking
is never sui generis—it is an Epimethean appendage to her feeling. What
she cannot feel, she cannot consciously think. “But I can’t think what I
don’t feel,” such a type said to me once in indignant tones. So far as her
feeling allows, she can think very well, but every conclusion, however
logical, that might lead to a disturbance of feeling is rejected at the outset.
It is simply not thought. Thus everything that fits in with objective values
is good, and is loved, and everything else seems to her to exist in a world
apart."

You can actually search Psychological Types Jung PDF in google and read the sections for yourself.
 
1 - 4 of 4 Posts
Top