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I have been talking/hanging out to an INTJ guy for about 5 months now. We use text about every day. When hung out he always paid. We only hung out 4 times due to living a few hours from each other. We are both about to graduate and may not end up in the same place after graduation. I asked him where he saw this going and he responded that he did not know. He said that he is not ready for a relationship. What does this mean? Is he really not ready for a relationship or does he just not like me?
 

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It seems he isn't really ready for a relationship. You asked him a question and he gave you a straight answer. He probably thinks about this as much as you do, but doesn't want to bring up the topic.

What else he says to you about the relationship?
 

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He said that we seemed to have a connection due to having so much in common. Also, he said he hopes we can be friends. We haven't talked since we had this conversation via text and he said he wished he could have told me this in person. So this doesn't mean he doesn't like me...he just isn't ready for a relationship right now?
 

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It means I am not wanting a relationship with you. This isn't an INTJ thing, it's a person thing. Despite urban legend it really is quite possible for men to just be friends with women. Take it at face value, he likes chatting to you but doesn't want to be sexual with you.
 

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He said that we seemed to have a connection due to having so much in common. Also, he said he hopes we can be friends. We haven't talked since we had this conversation via text and he said he wished he could have told me this in person. So this doesn't mean he doesn't like me...he just isn't ready for a relationship right now?
It's not that he doesn't like you, it's more that he thinks maintaining the relationship won't be beneficial for both sides right now. If he told you he wants to keep the friendship if possible, he made it clear that he likes you (uh, at least as a friend). Give it some days, then talk to him again. I don't think he is going to avoid you if you try to contact him as a friend.
 

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It means I am not wanting a relationship with you. This isn't an INTJ thing, it's a person thing. Despite urban legend it really is quite possible for men to just be friends with women.
The OP is actually a guy.
 

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The most important statement to consider is that he is not ready. He may like you romantically or he may not like you romantically but in any case he is not ready. He respects you and values the connection he has with you but a romantic relationship is not on the table.
 

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If you think the friendship is beneficial, then keep the friendship. I would not recommend staying friends in the hopes that he will be ready at some point. He may just be interested in you as a friend, not ready, or both, but sticking around with this kind of hope contributes nothing good. Either way, accept that he will only be a friend, and if you cannot, amicably move on.
 

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I am confused...

Gay people don't pay 50/50 in their dates?
An INTJ paying 100% of the date? lol
 

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It seems he isn't really ready for a relationship. You asked him a question and he gave you a straight answer. He probably thinks about this as much as you do, but doesn't want to bring up the topic.

What else he says to you about the relationship?
This pretty much sums up my views as well. INTJs are stereotypically quite straightforward and thus your friend responded in a terse manner that summed up his views concerning a relationship.

That being said, I recommend that you still contact him and maintain some sort of connection if you are truly interested in starting a relationship. Maybe he might be persuaded to think otherwise about postponing that relationship :happy:.
 
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What is the likelihood of him contacting me?
Well, if you've been talking a lot in the past few months, the chances of him contacting you again are fairly high.

However, I - as an INTJ - would probably get back in my shell and try to avoid contact, if I found out you had a crush on me and I didn't want anything sexual with you. But then again, you said he was paying all the time etc, which would imply there is something going on on his side, too. I don't think we'll be able to help you here, sorry. :\
 

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What is the likelihood of him contacting me?
why wait for him to contact you? why don't you take the initiative to text him "hi" from time to time to see how his doing? you may be surprised how relieved he might feel to be thrown a life line, if he likes you. If not, the line you throw at him would be ignored.

the above was my experience with a particular INTJ guy I liked very much.
 

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Because I was the last one to contact him. It was when we had the conversation I talked about above. Wouldn't he contact me if he liked me? I don't want to seem needy. If I wait for him to contact me, how long do you think it will take him to contact me?
he most likely won't contact you. INTJs may think about you but that's about it, all in the head. if you read posts in INTJ forum long enough you'd know this. Many INTJs said it. No matter how much they like a person, it stays in the head.


this is why i said you need to contact him. common ppl think it is "reasonable" to volley; hit the ball to his court and then he hits it back. doesn't work for INTJs. if you like him, you need to hit it on his head from time to time. being shy or keeping face will get you nowhere.
 
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