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So I did my first MBTI test about three and a half years ago, with my partner, whilst on holiday. I was typed as an INFJ, and he was an ISTJ. I didn't know what these meant at the time. We were just doing some quizzes, and having fun. We read the descriptions, agreed it mostly sounded like us and moved on. A year later, I came across the test again. I'd just moved city to live with my partner, and was quite depressed with the loneliness of only knowing one or two people and having no independence (I struggled to find a job and had to be "looked after" a lot). I even had very bad social anxiety, where I'd not leave the house for days or weeks.

I started testing as an INFP, but it didn't sit right with me. I love INFP's, I have lots of friends who are INFP's. I admire a lot of famous ones and the type really appeals to me. But I don't think I am an INFP, I'm not so pure of heart, I'm also not quite so day dreamy (although I definitely love to be in my own head!) and I know when people met me they think I'm a very cold person. I later had therapy, worked through my depression and anxiety.

Whilst recovering I was testing as an INFJ/ENFJ. But they still seemed too warm for me. I think I'd say I was an Ni lead. But Fe doesn't fit right. But then it might? I think I like the fit of INTJ, but I worry that means I am cold. Plus everyone says I'm a feeler, no thought needed, they just say thats that.

I wrote this about it recently

" I wanted it to be easy, I didn’t really understand who I was, I didn’t understand why others were the way they were. I wanted to have a nice system I could put each person into, all neatly ordered into their exact box, each in a specific slot, under their personal way of being, and why they are that way. A perfect way to say “look, this is who I am. This is how I think, and feel. I hope you understand me better now, and I can be myself around you more.”

Life isn’t like that though. Thing is I couldn’t even say I fit into one of the types for sure. “I’m not an INFP, I’m not an ENFJ, I don’t want to be an INFJ. But then INFJ fits best, I don’t think that’s a perfect description of me though. I’m too socially awkward to be Fe. But I definitely think I lead with Ni. UGHHHHH. INTJ? That would explain childhood a bit better. But really, Te?”."

So I was wondering is anyone would be able to help point me in a better direction? What am I? Why am I overthinking it?
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