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Hi guys I'm an ENTJ 8w7

I was wondering if it is just me or have other ENTJs have gone through this misunderstanding of coming off as 'arrogant' ?
If so, what was your story? If not, am I doing something wrong?

I was recently interviewed for a shipping/receiving management position. During my interview with the HR manager I was clearly very competent and qualified for the job. The HR manager reminded of an uptight secretary. However even though being very capable for the position, I'm starting to think to myself maybe I didn't get hired because people get intimated/annoyed by my clear, concise communication and displaying my confidence/drive by nature upon first meet. Now don't get me wrong I don't come around like a force of nature either like some have described. But rather, I try to be warm yet positively assertive in my approach. Apparently displaying motivation is intimidating?

This has happened to me 3 times, no response at all. I always try to sell myself as a 5 star candidate for the position I understand it can be confused for arrogance but its only because I have immense belief with my ability to deliver results that it was perceived negatively. Unfortunately all I've been getting was facial expressions as If I was a tsunami of capability. Either way I been totally confused.

I think I'm unconscious of something I'm might be doing wrong in interpersonal communication.

Do ENTJs have this problem or am I screwing up in something I have not yet developed?

Thanks!
 

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Employers want to hire people that are trainable. If you appear like a "know it all," it implies you're not very trainable. Here's a little insight to the hiring process. Feel free to PM me if you want additional advice interview skills, since I've been involved in the hiring process a few times now

I'm also a 8w7. Im pretty sure I've been called arrogant at least twice by my family members (and it came as a surprise). I know how to take charge and I like efficiency, but I never thought I'd come across as arrogant, though I can see why sensitive types would think that. A typical story would be last week when our ENFP club president struggled to get people to vote for our dinner place. I was a little annoyed so I just stood next to her and said in a loud voice:

"Alright, listen up. We're gonna vote where to have dinner tonight, so raise your hand if you want to have dinner near UW. Come on, everyone has to do it." Within 2 seconds, 90% of people raised their hands, and we moved on. To me that's just confidence and leadership, but it might look like arrogance to types like INFJs I guess
 

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yes - I can be perceived as arrogant and bossy to some people. This, however, does not prevent me from getting a job. In fact, these traits may be desirable in my line of work.

Care to give us a rundown of your last interview with Miss Prissy Panties? I.e. what did she ask and what was your response?
Keep in mind that an interviewer is not necessarily (only) looking for your functional expertise and competence. S/he will be evaluating your responses in terms of problem solving and general attitude. Many HR peeps will use a particular methodology (usually a situational leadership series of questions).
Use The STAR Technique to Ace Your Behavioral Interview

They want you to take them through the mental process of how you dealt with a particular issue in the past, or perhaps how you would deal with something in the future. They want you to be detailed and specific. This may challenging for ENTJs b/c I don't think we are very detail oriented unless we have/want to be.
Your direct answering might not be specific enough for them. Believe me, I've had lots of these kinds of questions in interviews and when they ask for more detail in my head I'm thinking "bitch, I already told you everything that I believe was relevant, but okay, here's another 3 minutes spent on 'describe me a time when a customer was upset and what you did about it' " *perky face, motor mouth*
 

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As concerns my own effect on people, I consider myself an acquired taste... sort of like chocolate, or coffee. People might grow to like me or even love me, but this does nothing to change the fact that on the first taste, a fair number of people respond more like "Omg, wtf." instead of "Wow, that's awesome, gimme more!"

Just keep at it. Sooner or later, you'll be interviewed by another Te dom or aux who will see your drive, intelligence, and competence as an asset, not a liability, and they'll like that first taste... which is pretty much what an interview is.
 

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First of all, I applaud you starting this thread and allowing for the possibility that the issue may lie with you. That’s always the first, best step in solving any problem.


This sort of thread is usually where I remind people of this great bit of advice I got from my mentor:

“If you are right and are gracious about it, people will remember you were right.
If you are right and are [arrogant] about it, all people will remember is that you were [arrogant].“

It’s not WHAT you say, it’s how you say it. And it’s not what you know, it’s what you can teach.

Even if you ...
are the best person for the job
have the best idea
know what needs doing
etc

... tooting your own horn, or lording it over others gets you nowhere in the long run. Saying you “TRY to be warm and positively assertive” isn’t the same as actually coming off that way. Hate to go all Yoda on you, but, “Do or do not. There is no try.”

The difference between confidence and arrogance is what’s inside of you. If you truly believe yourself to possess the leadership qualities you claim to have, that shines through because the leader in you shines through. If deep down, you have doubt, if comes off as arrogant puffery. Arrogance is overcompensating.

This next bit, I’m relaying to you as a former Director of HR, now retired.

Those HR managers that you see as an uptight secretaries? They’ve been trained in how read your body language and know when you are lying; can hear it in your voice inflection when you are unsure of your answer; can see in your body posture whether it’s confidence or arrogance you are telegraphing. Most likely, you’re misreading THEIR body language. They probably weren’t intimidated, but were showing you that they found you to be arrogant, offputting, and not a good fit for a management position.

Think about it: that person has interviewed hundreds if not thousands of people over the course of their career. Thinking that you’re able to intimidate them is arrogant. You’re really not special. Many people share your qualifications, experience, drive, and abilities. There is usually a large pool of qualified applicants to choose from. The person who gets the job is the one who is not only qualified on paper, but also possess innate leadership skills (or a willingness to learn them). The person who knows that their greatest strength as a manager lies not in confidently touting one’s own accomplishments, but in having the ability to pull others up and helping them achieve THEIR goals. Those who can advance - not themselves - but the ultimate goal. You can’t be arrogant and do that. It’s an instant deal breaker in an interview regardless of how good you “look on paper”.

Take in the advice in @Ultio ’s video clip at 13:56. Knowing that comes with experience. Realize that you can’t lead if no one wants to follow. In your interviews, you’re probably showing that you lack that quality. Its absence is easy to spot, and attempting to fake it is as well.

Take the lesson to heart. As a manager, it’s the most important one to learn: It’s not about you. It’s about something bigger than you. Think not in terms of what your learned skillset can bring to the job, but what your natural ability to lead can bring out in others.

Good luck in your job search.
 

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I'm generally not arrogant when the other party proves to me that he/she is more knowledgeable than me, however, if the other party shows incompetence or is less knowledgeable than me, I will be seen as arrogant.
 

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I was recently interviewed for a shipping/receiving management position. During my interview with the HR manager I was clearly very competent and qualified for the job.
We’re you though? I don’t care how qualified you are I don’t ever want to hire someone with the mindset that they know it all because then they’ll not have their eyes open for ways for themselves to improve or ways to improve the role as a whole.

Claiming that there is a fixed finishing point and that you’ve reached it shows minimal ability to think in a long run conceptual manner. Yes it sounds arrogant but more damning you sound closed off to continuous improvement.


I think you’re trying to show confidence but confident isn’t saying “I know what boxes you’ve presented and I’ve got them filled.”

Confidence is saying “given what criteria you present I can assure you that I’ll do my damndest to fulfill them.”

Show more of a growth mindset in yourself and especially if you’re going into management in others.
 
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@MrCeo ... it is fairly arrogant to expect anyone to give you a job because you think that you are "very capable and qualified" for the position. There are many capable people out there, and many personality types just don't gel.

In the end, without intending to insult you, I agree with some of the other respondents, if you are as good as you think you are, at some point someone else will see that in you and give you a chance, and that is what you want/need.

Despite how good you are, you should at all times treat those who are going to potentially give you a job with respect until such time as you prove yourself worthy in the position. If you feel arrogant in an interview, you're probably not suited for the job.

Walking in with the wrong attitude is the fastest way, irrespective of personality type, to be rejected for a job.
 

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@MrCeo ... it is fairly arrogant to expect anyone to give you a job because you think that you are "very capable and qualified" for the position. There are many capable people out there, and many personality types just don't gel.

In the end, without intending to insult you, I agree with some of the other respondents, if you are as good as you think you are, at some point someone else will see that in you and give you a chance, and that is what you want/need.

Despite how good you are, you should at all times treat those who are going to potentially give you a job with respect until such time as you prove yourself worthy in the position. If you feel arrogant in an interview, you're probably not suited for the job.

Walking in with the wrong attitude is the fastest way, irrespective of personality type, to be rejected for a job.
You have a point
 

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@Duo
haha, I don't know about that. His behaviour landed him the presidency. :tongue:
 

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@SkyRacerX

Thank god the corporate model is hardly a democracy.
 
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haha, I don't know about that. His behaviour landed him the presidency. :tongue:
Don't make me insult his voters. :p

One day, I'm going to take my child on his Twitter and let them have a laugh then gravely tell them:

"And that, my darling, is how you ought not to write if you want to be taken seriously."
No kidding. The Orange-in-chief is less literate than a ten year old.
 
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