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Sooo I'm quite the ENFP, and there's this friend of mine who's quite the INTJ (confirmed). I don't think he's a normal INTJ though, cause he seems to like girls even more easily than I like guys. He was obviously interested in at least 3 girls last year.
Basically last year he was quite infatuated with this one girl, (I don't know why though, she was a cheerleader and didn't seem very smart. Not his usual.) He told us (me, and my two ISFJ and INFJ best friends) that he planned to ask her out, (being ambitious as usual.) But then my INFJ friend found out that said girl was already dating someone. We told him this, but he still thought he had a chance. This is when my ISFJ friend did something enourmously dumb.
She pretty much asked him out before he could get himself hurt by this other girl. He responded very positively, and so they ended up dating. This was fine except for that a week later, my ISFJ friend told us that she didn't actually like him that way at all, and that she was just trying to distract him from the other girl and didn't think he would actually like her back. We of course told her to stop leading the poor boy on and break up with him, but she was a wimp about it and it took her 4 months before she got someone else to TEXT it for her. Ugh. It was the worst.
By then he was pretty attached to her and when she finally dumped him his poor little feelings were squished.
Basically he's been clinging to me like a lost puppy ever since. To be honest I don't really mind, I feel bad for him and want him I know I'm here for him. We've become pretty much best friend since then, I give him part of my lunch everyday, he proof-reads all of my essays, he's my partner in debate, and even writing a screenplay about a mustache creature together. (Yeah don't ask)
Is this normal for an INTJ? To focus on a specific person after having their feels screwed with? I'm sort of questioning his INTJ-ness at this point.
 

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You don't have to make it that obvious you're a teenager and have no idea what you're doing when it comes to relationships; the ISFJ's interference would've done that fine. :tongue:

I don't think he's a normal INTJ though, cause he seems to like girls even more easily than I like guys.
He seems to have some kind of attraction to relationships, maybe it's a feeling of being compelled to be in one.
Is he usually like this, or does it spike up and subside? Has he been in any fooling around with a girl?

Firstly there is no regular approach to a relationship for a type, given that how we view relationship is dictated by our perspective at that time. The "INTJ-ish" approaches you're likely envisioning come from people out of high school, having been in a serious relationship, having analysed the topic for years. Comparatively, dating in high school is a clusterfuck.

Now if you're wanting to 'prove his INTJness,' then get either/both of you into cognitive function and read up.

If you want to change his views on relationships to something a little less creepy/retarded, simply question him on them (and since you do debating, come up with a basic argument).
Either what'll happen is he'll has some flawed logical justification, but have it so well thought out that you can't argue it, or -- more likely -- he's hardly've thought of the topic, and is just going along with the feelings he doesn't understand.
 
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You are safe to him. He trusts you. Speaking for myself, but I would be more concerned about someone questioning why I am opening up to them and allowing them to be apart of my inner world. Considering how I seldom choose this direction. Maybe others can relate.
 

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wow, your friend is a huge tool.

Anyway, when I get attached, the detachment is extremely tough. It takes me lots of months to recover. Even when I didn't feel like I had strong feelings, it is just the grown attachment, the detachment after being around then often for so long is incredibly difficult.

Eventually it is ok, but it sure does take a long time.
 

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this is fairly simple. You both seem very young.

assuming that's true, with fi being an intj's third function, and so largely underdeveloped, especially in a teenager, its entirely possible that this intj simply has no idea how to deal with his feelings, and so has latched onto you as a "surrogate" for the failed relationship.

This is likely unhealthy in any prolonged capacity (more than a couple weeks) as, at that point, he is avoiding the problem, not dealing with it (with your help)
 

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I don't really get your question. Why is the intj's behaviour confusing but not the isfj's?
 

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How is this not like an INTJ? And why does everyone think he's acting on his emotions? Part of being a Judging type is taking action. So he may be confused by his emotions about the whole thing, but being around you, to him, is something to do. That's what we INTJs do, we distract ourselves.
Here's the practical. First, confronting this guy about his feelings is only going to make him deny that he has them. I lie about my feelings all the time, so do most INTJs unless they feel they are in a non-judgemental place (which may as well mean never or only online while protected by anonymity).
Second, it's important to note that INTJs have feelings, but prefer not to deal with them. Sure, he may be clinging to you, but does he say, "I'm emotionally scarred by what happened and I'm clinging to you to help me cope with this." all the time? I doubt he does. This is a manifestation of INTJ behaviour, not a sign that he is not an INTJ.
If you want the behaviour to stop, but you don't want to hurt his feelings, all you have to do is make yourself irritable to an INTJ. That's fairly simple and there are many threads about it in this sub-forum. What I would recommend is faking a crush on somebody other than him and asking him too many emotionally charged questions about what you think this random guy is thinking, and particularly how he feels about you. When you do that, consider that your INTJ may try to help you by bringing this information to the other guy or trying to set you up. One solution to that which I can see is switching the crush every day. It would be at least humorous to you.

Hope this helped.
 
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