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Hello all,
Just curious if anyone battles with inconsistency? To put it into context, I've been working at my current job for 3 years and during that time, a similar pattern has emerged which was evident in all previous jobs, namely my dependability/consistency. In the past week, I've been extremely late to work twice which has really disappointed my really really cool boss. And this is not the first time of such lateness. In this current job, I've subconsciously sabotaged the perception my superiors and my colleagues have of me. And this has been the history of my working life. It's as if I will do all these great things to get noticed and generate belief in my potential and then out of nowhere, hit the self-destruct button and become the antithesis of what everyone (including myself) thought of me. I've gone from the G.O.A.T. (Greatest of All Time) to the black sheep, and it's all because of my behaviour.

I could guess a possible explanation is that I'm not really passionate about what I do and really my behaviours are just expressions of my soul trying to free itself from corporate shackles. Or I could say that this last occurrence was due to me staying out until 2am (which I usually do anyway), drinking a few beers and despite premonitions of getting a food coma, ate a delicious roast turkey sandwich with coco bread. :crazy: However, I think there's something bigger at play here. When I look at the 30 plus years of my life, I see a roller coaster of high highs and low lows which resembles the polygraph test of a pathological liar. Don't get me wrong, I've convinced myself that it's the valleys in life that really make you appreciate the peaks, but I'm getting pretty tired of completely impressing someone with my abilities only to epically disappoint them. And on a grander scale, I can't really keep consistent even with what I love (my girlfriend, my friends, working out, meditating, reading, writing, etc.)

Any thoughts? Similar experiences? Advice on how to be consistent??? :sad:

Thanks...:unsure:
 
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Hmm... I don't know that I can fully relate. For me, I only have this problem with obligations I don't actually care about. (For instance, I'm very likely to be late to a job I dislike, or skip a class that I hate. But if I like a job or a class, I'll be there on time every time. This even changes depending on the situation-- I hate letting people down or inconveniencing others, so I'll never be late if my doing so causes that to happen, regardless of the circumstances...)

Same with my friends, loved ones, etc.-- I care about them too much to disappoint them or inconvenience them.

Do you think there could be anything else at play here? Is what you're describing a lack of motivation for life in general? I have been struggling with mild depression on and off for a little while, and when it manifests itself, I find that I'm unable to motivate myself to do anything at all. That's not an ENFP thing, that's a depression thing. Regardless, it might be good for you to talk to a therapist about these feelings of frustration and they can help you come up with a plan of action to fix it.
 

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Thanks for taking the time V.

I think you said it best,

I have been struggling with mild depression on and off for a little while, and when it manifests itself, I find that I'm unable to motivate myself to do anything at all.
I've always wondered if what I feel during these "funks" were bouts of depression. Is it possible to be cyclical/seasonal? I always find from November up until my birthday in February I get into what I've termed as "hibernation mode" and will just chill inside my cave, not wanting to do anything. Then when my birthday hits on February 1st, I'm like the groundhog who doesn't see his shadow and then just stays out to the point where I eventually burn out.
 
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