Freedom = responsibility. Like if I allow my teenage children freedom I expect them to use that freedom responsibly ..... lets say like don't get caught smoking pot in the park while a cop drives by. lol Im laughing, but it is not funny.
Im really not a controlling parent. I want them to be responsible and so I allow them a lot of freedom. I don't want them to be dependent on me so I allow them a lot of independence. But sometimes people don't always make wise choices with their freedom, they become irresponsible and that is when consequences come in to play. I don't like to be controlling, but I will if I have to.
With that being said. YOU ARE NORMAL for not getting along with your parents. That is right, most teenagers are stuck between wanting independence but still have to be dependent and they resent it. It is a time for seeking autonomy and thus the pull away from the parents. I would be more worried about you if you said "I love living at home and I love my parents and I want to stay here forever and ever!". See what I mean? And then one day the shift comes back and your relationship with your parents will be better. Oh, and though you want independence and its normal....it is also normal for them to be scared to let you go which comes across with the control factor.
I couldn't wait to get out of the house. I really didn't have it all that bad but that doesn't matter because I was a normal teenager and would have found anything bad that I possibly could so I push away and gain independence. Even if they had been the most perfect parents I would have still found SOMETHING. Not that I am denying that your relationship with your Dad is bad. Just saying you are a normal teenager for NOT wanting to be controlled. A toddler doesn't even like being controlled that is why one of their first words is "NO".
My independent nature keeps my parents at arms length and I am 38 years old. I really don't want them all up in my business or telling me what to do. I got divorced once and didn't tell them for two years that the divorce was final because I didn't want their input. I still don't want their input but they like to share it anyway. I like my parents better now than I did when I was a teenager, though.
