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Coping and growing strategies you've used

718 Views 3 Replies 4 Participants Last post by  Wartime Consigliere
Ok so I need some practical advice from my fellow ENFP's. How do we teach ourselves to stick with stuff? Like for instance, I've got the "keep a job or you'll lose your apartment" thing down. The job is no longer an issue. But I NEED to go to college. I have like 40 credits (not all apply unfortunately), but I am having sooo much trouble getting motivated to even sign up, and then when I do I can't seem to finish a regular semester.

My career depends on me pursuing a degree. The only people who are eligible for promotion are those who already have one or those who are actively pursuing.

So what strategies have worked for you? To sustain that "just started a new thing excited" thing and draw it out into a "I WILL finish this thing" determined thing?
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Having an aspiration and setting it as a goal gets me to stick through things. When I know I'm too far deep, I know I can't give up. :)

Here's from my experience. Hopefully it gives you some inspiration!

My "project" has been a work in progress for over a year and half and I've got a good 3 years to go.

After graduating, I didn't want to pursue anything in Public Health and I managed to land jobs as a programmer. I wanted to get a decent pay like all the other programmers, so I decided I wanted to get a degree in computer science.

I had to go for a Master's degree because none of the universities would accept me since I already graduated.

I paid for all my prerequisite courses out of my pocket to get into grad school. I spent a year and a half studying while working to get good grades to submit to grad school. There were many times where I wanted to give up and it seemed like it would be impossible for me to get in.

After submitting my apps, I got accepted. I had to take out financial aid loans to pay for school and at this point, I knew I had to commit. I wanted to run away so many times because I was scared that I wasn't cut out to succeed in the major, but I was so far deep with the commitment, that quitting now would be so much money lost.

I noticed when I took complete accountability for all of my actions, I became more dedicated to my commitments.

It might also have to do with my enneagram stuff. I'm very success-driven. Just the moments where I want to run away and go for the simpler route.. I have to constantly remind myself that everything I've done so far is going to be worth it. :)

It's tough, but you can do it! :)
Get a mentor that can be a cheerleader for you. They'll encourage you greatly! I've found this to be really helpful for myself. Get one that has a planning bent if not planning appropriately for college and commitment is an issue.

What is the main purpose of you going back to college? Focus on this purpose. I've refound my purpose and it's really clarified a lot of things for myself.

I don't know if this is helpful... but I've been in the lack-of-motivation department before myself.
I have a "Point of No Return" strategy that I make use of where possible - putting myself into an environment where I'm forced to do something because I can't opt out of being there. This works wonders for me. As an example, I had a trip to a meditation retreat where I had no technology/music for 10 days. I had only paid for my return bus trip and had no prior transport arranged, so as far as I was concerned, I had to be there and I was there for a reason. It helped me focus because I didn't have the conveniences of going home, procrastinating with fun things etc.

Though I'm not an ENFP, I realized a female ENFP friend of mine does this exact same thing in a less intentional sort of way - she dismisses the idea of correspondence/distance-learning because the environment isn't strong enough for her to discipline herself and actually do the work - she prefers to have that sense of expectation from teachers or something, I suppose. There's probably other examples of this, but you get the idea. If you ever need to focus on something, be almost masochistic in taking away the tools for opting out before they tempt you.

In a college context, I can think of a few ways to do this:
-Get study groups ASAP. The more people bouncing around ideas, the better.
-Leave your cellphone at home from time to time while studying.

Really though, the best thing to keep in mind if you want to use this strategy is that you make note of how different environments/situations make you feel, and how motivated you are from each place.

I also second getting someone to mentor you if it's an option, too.
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