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Discussion Starter #1
Help me figure out which one fits. I've had lots of security motivation, but that could have been during times of stress. It is hard for me to get started sometimes, but once I start I create amazing energy and effort. I am quite spiritual but don't have a set path about it.

I am afraid of loss and separation, and I am a stubborn optimist. I also like to have support and guidance - if I am making a big decision I will often survey lots of people in my personal life to hear how they would handle it, or what factors they would consider. I'd say my fear of loss is bigger than my fear of lacking support, though. I can tap into my independent side when needed, and I do okay with that.

But it seems the core fear for 6 and 9 is almost the same thing. You only lose support if you're abandoned, and if you are abandoned you experience loss and separation. So idk.

I tend to have more anxiety than I want to admit. I also tend to struggle with an impulse to merge with people I see as close to me, and at times I don't feel I have a set identity. I am fairly confident I am an sx instinctive stacking, so that could be where the merging comes from... only I do it to some extent with non-sexual relationships as well.

Can you help me figure out my core type? I'm not sure how to look at it to determine this.
 

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I also tend to struggle with an impulse to merge with people I see as close to me, and at times I don't feel I have a set identity.
From descriptions, that would be a nine thing.

You also mentioned being a stubborn optimist. I think sixes would sound a bit less positive, although that may vary based on the person.
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Another thing that's particularly telling for a toss between 9's and 6's is how they express passive aggressiveness. I have no idea if you are, but generally 9's go quiet, stubborn, unmovable rock-like and unresponsive. 6's might make more sharp sarcastic snipes. But that's just from the small group of people I know.
 
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Discussion Starter #3
Hmm. Interesting what you said about passive aggressiveness. I try to be assertive most of the time, and for times when I don't feel ready to do that I will have to think about how I deal with those moments.

So I took another online test and got the following:
PSTypes Enneagram Test Results

The Distribution of Your Scores


  • Type One: 9
  • Type Two: 11
  • Type Three: 30
  • Type Four: 14
  • Type Five: 7
  • Type Six: 31
  • Type Seven: 27
  • Type Eight: 16
  • Type Nine: 29
Your probable Enneagram Type

Your main type is 6.
Considering the wings you should be a 6w7.

I think the results just reiterate my problem. I can't tell how much of my 6ness is due to the qualities I take on under stress.
 

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Well, 9 disintegrates to 6, so maybe that's why you feel 6-ish under stress?

timeless said:
Unhealthy Sixes develop a great deal of stress and anxiety, and a Nine can move in that direction when they are stressed. Nines are normally laidback, but that also makes the Nine vulnerable to a sense of powerlessness that can create feelings of helplessness and despair. In that case, the Nine would withdraw into themselves and can “shut down” due to anxiety.
 

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You said you have no set identity. Would you explain what you see when you look inward?
 
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Discussion Starter #6
@Grim Not entirely sure. a person who is both strong and scared. who is gentle but ruthless. sexually powerful. selfish but selfless. loyal to a fault. spiritual and sometimes frenetic, other times a pillar of calm.

in some circles i am seen as outgoing and enthusiastic. with others i am seen as unpredictable and almost like i don't have much of a personality. it is harder to show the me i like to be with people i haven't been around much.
 

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Discussion Starter #7
Still wrestling with this one. I see myself more in Bliss Dream's 9w8 sx/so description than in most of the descriptions for 6w7. But I might be blocking out the extent I am ruled by anxiety.

I have more optimism than I see in core 6, but that could be due to the 7 wing. I view it as intentional optimism, ignoring the negatives - unless things align a certain way, at which point I'm overwhelmed and can only see negatives.

Like lately, I haven't really had any stressors - and I've felt easy breezy go with the flow. Very peaceful, and rather demotivated. Grr I wish I could figure this out.

I would rather not see conflict happening when I'm in a calm state, but if I need to I can get combative with people.

I consistently get feedback about my understanding of others, and I tend to be very open rather than having a spackle of identity over my true self. Not sure if that helps anyone in giving me feedback that will help me settle this.
 
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