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Discussion Starter #1
I've tried before ( and failed miserably) to keep up writing a journal. I don't know why, but recently I've felt the urge to try again, so maybe, one day, I'll look back on it all and wonder what all the big deal was about. Or maybe see my 'glory days'. Everyone has them. And it's weird to think these could be mine and I haven't even realised it. But I really hope they aren't. Because the only really memorably beautiful things have all been imagined by me. Like yesterday, there was a wonderful sunset as me and my sisters drove back from my nans house in the countryside, and all I could think about was how it would be so much nicer if I was laying on the hood of a car, with someone, anyone, who I could just talk to about the meaning of life, or the my chemical romance concert, or how the rain is so damn pretty when you've got nowhere to go in a hurry. And it was so pretty. I felt so free, if you do pardon the cliche. And then I came back to the real life, and I was sitting in the from seat of the car, the light streaming in, and it was still pretty. But it wasn't the same. Like when you go back to the park you went to as a kid, and the trees don't still whisper your name, and the swings are just swings, not rocketships or anything. And I don't plan on reading this over, and I still don't actually know why I'm writing this. I wonder if anyone is reading it.
If you are... This is kind of awkward. Because I've just shown you, random stranger, who may or may not be reading. I've just shown you more of myself than I've ever shown anyone. Just this rambling paragraph (can it even be called a paragraph?) is more honest than I know I'll ever be able to show my family or friends right know. I guess, for the time being, this'll be the closest I'll get to sunset talks on the hood of a car.
This really does sound like a suicide note, doesn't it? It's not, by the way. If it were I'd have left out the capital letters, and put in some more pretty words. And written it in sparkly purple pen.
 

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it's actually sad to say but i've been to this point before. i write in a journal everyday frankly because i don't trust people enough to tell them everything i think about. it really helps so i would suggest it. and don't think of where you could be that's better....think of the now. and if you want to do something then do it. some of the best enjoyments and scenery out of life can only truly be appreciated by you yourself. i hope my advice was useful. -brit
 

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Tale of Two;bt18355 said:
it's actually sad to say but i've been to this point before. i write in a journal everyday frankly because i don't trust people enough to tell them everything i think about. it really helps so i would suggest it. and don't think of where you could be that's better....think of the now. and if you want to do something then do it. some of the best enjoyments and scenery out of life can only truly be appreciated by you yourself. i hope my advice was useful. -brit
thankyou so much for taking the time to comment, it means so much...sometimes you wanna know that it's not just you, y'know? You advice will definately be comforting next time I feel this way again :)
 

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I know - I always feel like I should be enjoying the moment because it's genuinely lovely but I end imagining it to be slightly different and then I almost feel like I cheated myself :S
 
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