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Fu Dominant
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Discussion Starter #1
Hi there, crazy kids! :)

I've come across several INFJ profiles from various sites that give us descriptive titles ranging from Protector to Counselor to Confidant. So which would fit you the best? These may all be applicable in ways, but with as many variations of INFJ that are out there, surely one fits you better than another, yes?

For me, it's Confidant. I'm not all that great at giving out advice like a Counselor, nor do I really feel it's my place to most of the time, and there aren't that many situations for me where the role of "Protector" would come into play.

But time and time again, people find it really easy to talk to me, to confide in me. Even people I barely know do this. They're apt to be very open with me, much more so than I could possibly be in return. I don't mind at all. If that's how I can be of the most use, then wonderful. I'm glad to be a shoulder to cry on or an ear to vent to. :) I feel very humble that I apparently give off a good trustworthy and authentic vibe.

And I suppose, in some ways, that also takes into account the Counselor and Protector titles as well, but I personally feel that Confidant fits better overall. So, your thoughts? Do you have a preference? Do your values, and/or the way you help others match one title over another?
 
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Probably confidant. People seem to come to me when they need a 'shoulder to cry on.' I guess counselor might fit me too, because when I do give advice it tends to help people. I haven't ever had an opportunity to really be a protector, but I can see myself becoming/being one in the future.
 

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ESTJ 3w2 sp
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I've been all three, but I feel like protector fits me the best.
 

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I would say Counselor fits me best. People do like to share things with me, but I notice that even if I know what's going on with some friends, they won't talk to me about it till they're ready for advice and help. I think this is because in most situations, it's fairly easy for people who know me to know what I'm going to say, and they don't want to hear it before they're ready for it. At the same time, once a friend is really ready to receive help, they know I will be there for more than just talking. I will take action with them if need be.
 

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All three of them fit me. Not sure that I can choose one over the other, because it depends on the circumstances and what's needed at the time. I'm most *comfortable* with being a counselor when I'm dealing with someone who is truly seeking improvement. I hate wasting my time trying to help people who, I know, are going to continue doing what they've always done.

Side Note: I think the better counselors seldom give out advice. They just ask questions, analyze your responses, then ask more questions to help you find your own answers.

Example: I was in counseling during my first marriage, and I told the counselor that my husband was lily white, he could do no wrong, and all of our marital problems were my fault. The counselor said, "You really believe that, don't you?" Hmmmmm...yeah. I never questioned those beliefs until he challenged them.
 

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My role as a mother makes me an autmatic protector, but I think I better fit the role of confidant. People seem very relaxed when telling me things in confidence. However, I've also been told that I give good advice, but I very seldom offer it unless asked for it.
 
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I feel like a protector the most but all of them fit me really.
 

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protector, followed by counsellor.

confidante feels out of place a bit.
 

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I've been all three, but the one that fits me the best is Counselor....and then confidant..
 

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Fu Dominant
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Discussion Starter #17
I'm not sure I really can clarify, but here goes. Keep in mind that these are just my views on the titles, not necessarily what the INFJ profiles are maybe going for:

Protectors: People who want to help larger causes for humanity. You know, working with the Peace Corps. or other organizations. Even just locally, via churches, or maybe homeless shelters, etc. They have a desire to help people they don't even know overcome their plights in life. The very pro-active type.

Counselors: Mentors or people known for giving good advice on a regular basis. Maybe friends of friends come to them for help. A sort of in-between the Protector and the Confidant. Not necessarily proactively looking to help others directly, but proactive in doing so once others seek their help.

Confidants: People that others, even strangers, have no qualms about confiding in. They just have a genuine and trustworthy "vibe", for lack of a better term. I can't tell you how many times people I barely know will open up to me about their lives. They're not really looking to me for advice or direct help. They just need an ear to listen or shoulder to cry on and somehow I give that vibe. I don't ask them to, they just do it. And as an INFJ, of course, I'm happy and willing to oblige.

For me, the distinctions are more obvious than perhaps for other INFJs. My introversion is very high. Even when I want to be pro-active, I tend not to be because of it. (And I'm fairly certain I have a well developed Ti, causing me to over-analyze everything.) So while at very rare times I can be a Counselor to someone, most of the time I'm a Confidant. And beyond my close circle of friends and family, I can't really see myself ever being a Protector type towards others, no matter how much I may wish to be.
 

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MOTM July 2012
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this is difficult to answer, because any of the three roles can become active as the opportunity to fill that role presents itself...as you said,

These may all be applicable in ways
if i had to choose one, the one that happens most often would probably be counselor. :)
 
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