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Discussion Starter #1
Authority issues - Can't stand if someone dominates strongly. It might be that I feel the strong behavior unfair before the unfairness even happens, but yes, it often does. I have left couple of jobs just because I have been abused or so I at least felt (and still feel). I also often feel fear towards authorities and might rebel.


Mind Race - I have an hard time to fall asleep at nights, but I don't have a disturbing sleeping problem (even tough I used to). I usually think about the past or the future or events that has or will never happen. Often anxiety related - the reason why I can't fall in to sleep fast.


Practical and aggressive - When I'm doing my work with others I'm willing to take the lead. I usually wan't things to go my way because I know how to do them. I tend to get anxious if I don't know what to do.


Rules - I like to play by the book and I want that others will do. I'm always at time and I do my job and I do it well, so I expect that others will too.


Arbiter - I have been identified even when I was a child to be an arbiter for others. I like harmony and peace, but I like moderate action too.


When I was a child - I hated being touched. I didn't participate any of the physical games or other activities. Now days I aint so jumpy about it and think if someone is doing something physical that it is a way to show caring (like tap on back).


Greed - I often tend to eat too much, drink too much, exercise too much, read too much or too much of anything. Usually I shop too much because of my poor impulse ability.



Appearance - I usually like wearing black and my style is personally rock-ish, but not too strong. There once was a time that I wanted to drown in the crowd; cutted my long hair and took my piercings away. I've looked many ways: goth, rock, long hair, bald, "normal", black hair, blond hair, dreadlocks, tattoos. But ironically I don't like to be noticed about them. I have a need to be personal but I don't want to get to defend myself about my appearance.


Childhood - My father is probably an type 8. He is strong minded - "do it my way or the highway" kind of guy and very negative too. We fought a lot when I was a teenager. Now we're doing fine. My mother is probably a type 2. Always caring mother Theresa type. Loving and gentle who would also help you even when you wouldn't like that. Highly annoying for me sometimes.


Trusting - I give a lot to a peoples whom I trust, but it takes time for me to trust. I am not untrusting people, but I am not giving my all because I just don't feel that I know them. I always give a change to get to know me.


Self exploration - I've been interested from self-help books since my first down pressing event in my life. I read and buy much books. I'm also very impatient and wouldn't want to wait for anything - so I buy what I want almost always and do what I want almost always.


The list in my mind - I have these obsessed things that I have had to do in my life. Just to try them at least. I greatly feared to do them too but I had to do them anyway: Motorcycling, acting in a play, working in a audio studio, getting rid of fear of bees, etc. Big things for me and in a way when I did them: extremely exciting in a bad or a good way.


Sixth sense - I tend to know people, their motivations and hidden messages. Sometimes I could write a book about a person even when we've just saw. There is a deep spiritual side in me which sometimes feels superficially holy.


I have been in therapy and they made me enneagram test there last autumn. I scored most to be an enneagram type 8. That is the type I can most relate to. I went there about ten times before the test. Then I wrote couple of threads to this forum and I heard about counter phobic 6. I've read many books which doesn't explain this kind of subtype at all. I tought naively that enneagrams were all the same and simple, but where there is people, there never is "simple"..


I also find out about the core believes from the book "Deep Coaching" which should implicate the root of which type you are. I can relate most of to the type 8 but I am sceptical. However this book doesn't explain nothing about the counter phobic 6.


The three most describing words that I would give myself are:


Impatient
Aggressive
Deep



All help is greatly appreciated. I tried to give as much info as I can that is most relevant in my life. I will tell more if there comes something in my mind. Thank you.
 

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@51sth
my first impression is 3w2, maybe So/Sx
you seem to be
- conscientious
- goal oriented
- caring/care how others perceive you
- you seem like an over achiever
- conscientious about your presentation

alternatively, I could see
- 1w2
- 2w1
- 2w3
- an unusually 2-ish 8w9 (you do sound a little like my brother whom I believe to be a 6 fixed 8w9)
- 6w7 (I don't see much 6 so far, but 6 traits aren't always immediately apparent)
 

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Discussion Starter #3
My impatience came once again and I didn't first read the "Enneagram questionnaire" as I should have :p

Heres my answers to them:

Main Questions

1. What drives you in life? What do you look for?
- Balance and making my dreams come true (i.e. doing what you like for work)

2. What do you hope to accomplish in your life?
- I want to make the world a better place even when I have to feel myself bad for that (martyr)

3. What do you hope to avoid doing or being? What values are important to you?
I think I can be anything that I want. I just need to resolve how. The one thing that I wouldn't want to be is an actor. It is too exciting for me and creates anxiety. I don't want to be seen weak and acting is too spontaneous for me and creates that risk.

The most important values for me are righteousness and conscientious, but I won't follow if there aint no explanation for the reason why.

4. What are your biggest fears (not including phobias)? Why?
That someone abuses me somehow. That I am weak and can't defend myself. Public humiliation is one of the worst.

I think the reason is because I have been bullied couple of times at school and because my father was a strong and abused me verbally many years.

5. How do you want others to see you? How do you see yourself?

I want that others see me firm and trustworthy. Humorous, wise and relaxed. Someone to whom you can count on, but also a someone who doesn't take crap.

I see myself as decisive, little bit scared, but not showing it. When I put my mind on a thing the fear usually removes. As needed also: emphatic, warm and balancing (group situations).

6. What makes you feel your best? What makes you feel your worst?
When I get something accomplished I feel the best. The more I do "nothing" I tend to get depressed.

7. Describe how you experience each of: a) anger; b) shame; c) anxiety.

Anger makes me feel strong to a point and I will make my way. If there is someone stronger than me the anger turns into a fear and I would like to disappear. I hate the fear part, it makes me totally lose control and then I will leave.

I feel shame rarely. When I was a teenager I said things that was shameful, but I would say that I more regretted them than felt really shame. Anyway I do feel shame too.

Anxiety is probably the most common feeling for me from these three choices. Anxiety is the reason too that makes me usually angry. I tend to think things that hasn't happened, or how they should have happened or how they could have happened or how they will happen. I tend to have a problem of falling asleep because of this.

8. Describe how you respond to each of: a) stress; b) unexpected change; c) conflict.
Stress makes me angry and I tend to push harder to get rid of the cause of the stress.

When there's change in my life I tend to withdraw and become spiritual. It is a my way of coping that I accept current change in a so called "spiritual silence".

If I'm stronger, conflicts are ok. If I'm weaker I hate them. I'm only weaker when someone abuses me somehow and when I am weaker I will flee.

9. Describe your orientation to: a) authority; b) power. How do you respond to these?
I hate authorities, because I almost always haven't seen anyone who hasn't misused their authority. The more clearer it is that the authority is an abusive, the more I hate. Even thinking this makes me angry. Authority must be earned.

Power is something that you have or you don't, but in a sense you can be whatever you want. Question is: Do you want to be what you are?

10. What is your overall outlook on life and humanity?

Everyone is one with another and equal, we just have different tendencies. There aint no good or bad. No better or worse. World is perfect as it is.

Optional Questions

List some of the traits you: a) like; b) dislike most about yourself.
I like the way I do things so determined to the outcome. I get things started and done. I am considering and I don't follow orders blindly. I like to understand thing deeply and therefore I am a bit of an expert.
I dislike my fear which arises if someone is stronger than me or someone is not so familiar to me.

What do you see or notice in others that most people don't?
Their agendas and their past. I can see their persona and vividly imagine what has happened to them in the past. When I see the past it makes me easy to see their agendas. I can read people.

If a stranger insults you, how do you respond/feel? What if they compliment you?
I might get scared and just leave without showing it or I just don't give the pleasure of notice. I might also just be silent and show my strength without saying anything. Anyway I would be scared.
If some stranger compliments me it depends on the way s/he does it. I can see if it is real. If it's for real I will take it to encourage me, if it isn't I will dismiss the compliment and judge that person as untrustworthy.

What's something you are: a) thankful you have; b) wish you could have? Why?
I value my relationships when they've reached to a certain point: I need to trust the person deeply. So I am grateful of my friend and my girlfriend. I'm also very thankful when I have done something I loved to do. Almost spiritually thankful.

I wish I could do whatever I want (job). I wish I had a lots of money so I could be financially independent, because this makes me feel secure and free.
 

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Discussion Starter #4
And one thing to add here:

When I am with someone, just the two of us, whomever, I won't never lose a fight. That is a fact.

I always tend to interpret confilcts as group situations, not 1 vs 1 situations.
 

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Discussion Starter #7
Tell me what you think after you've read the descriptions.
cp6 description seems amazingly accurate. I even used the same words that the description says.. I'm kind of relieved, but yes, anxious. To be honest, I would have rather be unfunctional 8. And yes I know, none of us is better than another, but still...
 

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Take a socionics test as well. That will help clue you in on your enneagram, too as you'll have a clearer vision of "who you are".
 

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cp6 description seems amazingly accurate. I even used the same words that the description says.. I'm kind of relieved, but yes, anxious. To be honest, I would have rather be unfunctional 8. And yes I know, none of us is better than another, but still...
I concur with cp6. Congrats on finding your type 51st. :)
 
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