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Discussion Starter #1
Since Nines revel in having comfortable routines and a consistent peace of mind about their days, I was wondering what other Nines out there do to comfort themselves in creating a calm, cool and collected mentality.

I, myself, love listening to ambient music while lighting up incense. Actually, I'm doing that right now. In addition to that, I think allowing as much natural light to enter my living space as possible to be key ingredient to keeping up with this peaceful frame of mind.

Long, steamy showers are also nice. What do you do?
 

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Music, is awesome. I find if I can just zone out for a while, I'll be okay, I can return to center and relax, it may take a hour or two to fully recover from a stressful event, but I need to zone to start the ball rolling. A smoke can work sometimes, a nap can work, cuddling (at least with like a pillow) can work, a long bike ride can work. Just anything that I can forget or put off the outside world for while or just a few minutes really helps.

On a note a book won't work, I need to relax, and let my thoughts regroup, slow down, relax, run their course.
 

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I write comedy about the dark things....problems seem so much more absurd once they are put into a big picture and laughed about.

I listen to music....nothing ambient....groove metal....it motivates :wink:
 

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Discussion Starter #4
Music, is awesome. I find if I can just zone out for a while, I'll be okay, I can return to center and relax, it may take a hour or two to fully recover from a stressful event, but I need to zone to start the ball rolling. A smoke can work sometimes, a nap can work, cuddling (at least with like a pillow) can work, a long bike ride can work. Just anything that I can forget or put off the outside world for while or just a few minutes really helps.

On a note a book won't work, I need to relax, and let my thoughts regroup, slow down, relax, run their course.
I hear ya; even extroverts needs to retreat from people from time to time.

I have a Q. You said reading a book won't help but have you ever tried journal writing? This is something I actually do quite a bit. Just designate a spiral notebook or actual journal to writing down whatever you feel like. I find it allows me to let my thoughts regroup but it's weird because reading has the same effect on me as it does on you when needing to put off the outside world. But I've read that keeping a journal is healthy for the psyche. Also interesting in letting you come back a while later and see how you've progressed in your life. I recommend buying a journal from Barnes and Noble and start highlighting what the days in your life are like and just anything you want to say. It's your journal. [:
 

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... What do you do?
No drama.
Cool music. (examples of this would take all day)
Many times I'll turn off the TV and open the windows, listen to the breeze and birds outside.
I choose my friends/family well - no drama.
I construct my life/work so not a lot of demands are placed on me.
I don't pick fights. I don't go looking for trouble or a rumble.
K.I.S.S. (keep it simple stupid)
I ignore toxic people, environments, stimuli.


....there's a lot more, so I may add to this later.

EDIT to add this: Lots and lots and lots of laughter and comedy.
 

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I've thought about a journal, tried a few times to really keep one. I've just never really stuck to it. The are times that just writing helps, especially emotions. I bought a composition book for that purpose when I was buying school supplies for the fall. . It's something I want to do, but I'm apprehensive about doing it anywhere except in private, which typically isn't when I feel like writing. I've written poetry like that just to get thoughts out and sometimes just ramble on a page. I'm thinking it is about time I start an official journal, this may just been the prod I needed, lol
 

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Discussion Starter #7
I've thought about a journal, tried a few times to really keep one. I've just never really stuck to it. The are times that just writing helps, especially emotions. I bought a composition book for that purpose when I was buying school supplies for the fall. . It's something I want to do, but I'm apprehensive about doing it anywhere except in private, which typically isn't when I feel like writing. I've written poetry like that just to get thoughts out and sometimes just ramble on a page. I'm thinking it is about time I start an official journal, this may just been the prod I needed, lol
See, I think that's one of the reasons why most people are apprehensive about starting a journal in the first place. When someone tells them to start a journal, that person presupposes all the expectations which come with having a journal. But honestly, when it comes down to it, it's just a book full of pages for you to write in. People think, "YES, today is the day I start a journal!" therefore they feel succumbed to have to fulfill only writing in the journal as if to only portray the stereotypical image of a teenage girl writing her deepest thoughts. You can do that but I really see it as a personal haven to write/draw anything I feel like. Basically it is what you make it. I often see it used for good therapeutic reasons. Sometimes when I'm having a cruddy day, I'll reflect on what I've previously written, how I got through a tough day in the past for example, and it helps me to introspect on how my life is going. So I encourage you to do only what you feel will be of the greatest benefit to you, not what is expected out of you to do journal writing. I hope I don't sound preachy. :crazy:
 

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Discussion Starter #8
No drama.
Cool music. (examples of this would take all day)
Many times I'll turn off the TV and open the windows, listen to the breeze and birds outside.
I choose my friends/family well - no drama.
I construct my life/work so not a lot of demands are placed on me.
I don't pick fights. I don't go looking for trouble or a rumble.
K.I.S.S. (keep it simple stupid)
I ignore toxic people, environments, stimuli.


....there's a lot more, so I may add to this later.

EDIT to add this: Lots and lots and lots of laughter and comedy.
Great list. Thank you. You've brought to my attention a lot of things I do in day to day life but perhaps haven't realized I'm doing them full well because I'm so finely tuned to doing them. I think just staying positive as well as trying to shed those good vibes onto others to be rewarding in itself. So many people will feel threatened by something, then they go into fight or flight mode. I don't really see fight or flight as the only two options when getting into a conflict. Of course when I get into a conflict, my natural instinct is to suppress their anger and for everyone to get along. So if I did get into a conflict with another person, I think it's important to approach people as calm, cool and collected as possible; to know that more times than not if I respond to them in an equally or more upsetting fashion, things typically result in more anger and nothing is resolved. Actually keeping things in perspective and trying to settle each others' differences is more powerful than a bloody nose any day, in my opinion.
 

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See, I think that's one of the reasons why most people are apprehensive about starting a journal in the first place. When someone tells them to start a journal, that person presupposes all the expectations which come with having a journal. But honestly, when it comes down to it, it's just a book full of pages for you to write in. People think, "YES, today is the day I start a journal!" therefore they feel succumbed to have to fulfill only writing in the journal as if to only portray the stereotypical image of a teenage girl writing her deepest thoughts. You can do that but I really see it as a personal haven to write/draw anything I feel like. Basically it is what you make it. I often see it used for good therapeutic reasons. Sometimes when I'm having a cruddy day, I'll reflect on what I've previously written, how I got through a tough day in the past for example, and it helps me to introspect on how my life is going. So I encourage you to do only what you feel will be of the greatest benefit to you, not what is expected out of you to do journal writing. I hope I don't sound preachy. :crazy:
You don't, I think I will just, just give it a go. Like you said just use however it you feel, and see what happens.
 

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I like to sit outside in nature/listen to something like The Supremes or Janis Joplin. I also try to organize the people and activities in my life to be very balanced, supportive, drama-free, just, you know, serene.
 

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Music and going for a walk in nature are keys for me as well.

I try not to get involved in people's drama. If they are having a stress fit about something that I think is pretty much inconsequential, I retreat from them and often laugh inwardly at them. Not to be cruel, just because I find it amusing how people get a bee in their bonnet about things that really don't matter in the greater scheme of things.

Life is absurd. Sometimes you just have to keep your sense of humour to cope with anything that tries to shit on your day.

Another method of mine is just not to take things personally. If someone is having a bad day and takes it out on me, I can see clearly that it's their problem not mine, they're just projecting their own insecurity or frustrations onto me. I have developed a thick skin to become less sensitive. I forgive easily, and in most cases almost immediately. They've been my friend or family for a long time, one or two barbed comments should not make any difference to the health of our relationship.

I make sure I have enough time out from people to sit quietly with my thoughts each day. Sometimes with music, sometimes not. A lot of the time I will think back to my happy childhood as a way to de-stress. If I can't clear my head of thoughts then I know I need to write them down to avoid ruminating for days. The ultimate aim is to have a period where I am not thinking of anything whatsoever.
 

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To calm/center myself I:
Take deep breaths periodically throughout the day
Listen to music
Play video games
Eat
Go to the gym
Write in my journal
Put myself in the presence of my friends (not necessarily saying anything, just being)
Drinking on the weekends helps me de-stress
 

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Discussion Starter #13
To calm/center myself I:
Take deep breaths periodically throughout the day
Listen to music
Play video games
Eat
Go to the gym
Write in my journal
Put myself in the presence of my friends (not necessarily saying anything, just being)
Drinking on the weekends helps me de-stress
What video games do you play to help you create this peace of mind?

I ask because I feel like I'm in a dilemma. Is it possible to be de-stressed from a first person shooter? I just love playing Halo 3 ODST on XBL to chill out. Even though I'm absorbing rocket launchers to the face, some how it is relaxing. :D Maybe a possible outlet for me to release my "9" suppressed anger. Grrrrrrr.
 

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What video games do you play to help you create this peace of mind?

I ask because I feel like I'm in a dilemma. Is it possible to be de-stressed from a first person shooter? I just love playing Halo 3 ODST on XBL to chill out. Even though I'm absorbing rocket launchers to the face, some how it is relaxing. :D Maybe a possible outlet for me to release my "9" suppressed anger. Grrrrrrr.
Of course. Being violent and killing people without actually being violent and killing people is a great stress reliever! Certainly works for my husband - he is much more chilled after a first person shooter session, especially if he has the sound whacked right up.
 

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What video games do you play to help you create this peace of mind?

I ask because I feel like I'm in a dilemma. Is it possible to be de-stressed from a first person shooter? I just love playing Halo 3 ODST on XBL to chill out. Even though I'm absorbing rocket launchers to the face, some how it is relaxing. :D Maybe a possible outlet for me to release my "9" suppressed anger. Grrrrrrr.
It's actually not so much what game I'm playing as the fact that it so completely captures my focus. I could be playing an MMORPG or Bejeweled with similar effects (the former holding my attention for longer, of course). It's an escape.
 

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Listening to music's a big one
Chatting to friends.
Playing music on my keyboard (the instrument) is good, I think any instrument might work well because it's focusing you and at the same time relaxing you by sounding good.
Reading, escaping into another world
On a similar track, watching TV or a movie of some sort.
Writing in my journal, but if something bad has happened writing it out might not help and make me dwell on it more.
 

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MOTM Feb 2012
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To keep myself balanced and maintain a "calm, cool, and collect mentality" I do certain things:

  1. PerC has been my most recent content-making acquisition. Conversing with others about something I love (AKA personality type) is a wonderful thing.
  2. I have many shows I love to watch, including (don't judge me! lol): Survivor!, Big Bang Theory, Project Runway, America's Next Top Model, Cake Boss (or any cake challenge), The Bachelor/Bachelorette, Clean House, and What Not to Wear.
  3. I go to the gym or play a sport.
  4. I sleep. Sometimes if I'm feeling upset about something, I just force myself to go to sleep early because I know I'll feel better in the morning.
  5. I go shopping. Something about shopping, even just grocery shopping, always makes me feel at ease, lol.
  6. I find funny things on the internet, i.e. cartoons and videos, and laugh! :smile:
  7. I solve puzzles such as crossword puzzles.
  8. I play addicting games online.
  9. I sing a song. :)
  10. I do have a journal, but I only write in it when I really need to vent.
I should take more walks, that always does wonders for my peace of mind.

I also try to minimize the demands placed upon me, so I have some down time to myself every so often.
 

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I've pretty much relied on music as a form of mental stimulation or pacifier all my life. These days, when I feel troubled, I just turn on my itunes, play some random game on my computer, and zone out.
 
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