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Discussion Starter #1
Hi everyone, I'm new to this forum. as for my test i get ISTJ.
So i've INFP friend that i had crush with her. So i start to text her, at first, she respond so slow, and now the response is faster, but idk, sometimes she will continue the conversation, sometimes she wont. when texting sometimes i think she avoiding me (like busy doing other thing), and she never start conservation, but always reply my text no matter how lame it is. i tried take her out 2 times, but rejected because she said have family thing.
My question is that she hate me but try to be polite? how should i get this girl? or should i let her go before she hate me?
 

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INFP 6w5 629
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im sorry, i dont get it, i mean i was myself, i didnt try to use any mask with her.. what should i do?
There's nothing really more to what I said. I gave you the best advice I could think of in the simplest terms I could think of to express it in.

If you're looking for some specific advice, you might need to add more information:
How do you know she's an INFP?
Why haven't you tried the direct approach?
How do you know what you know about her? What if you're wrong?
If your perception of the situation is wrong, how am I supposed to provide you with advice that is good and pertinent to your situation?

At the end of it, I feel like most of these questions can be solved by just being you. If you discover she doesn't like you, what are you going to do? Will you change to fit her views? No, that is a bad idea. If you wanted a successful relationship, she would need to like you for you anyways, so you may as well show her that from the get-go.
 

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Discussion Starter #5
There's nothing really more to what I said. I gave you the best advice I could think of in the simplest terms I could think of to express it in.

If you're looking for some specific advice, you might need to add more information:
How do you know she's an INFP?
Why haven't you tried the direct approach?
How do you know what you know about her? What if you're wrong?
If your perception of the situation is wrong, how am I supposed to provide you with advice that is good and pertinent to your situation?

At the end of it, I feel like most of these questions can be solved by just being you. If you discover she doesn't like you, what are you going to do? Will you change to fit her views? No, that is a bad idea. If you wanted a successful relationship, she would need to like you for you anyways, so you may as well show her that from the get-go.
I know she's infp because she said it.
Yeah, maybe my perception is wrong, thats why i ask for your opinion.
Well, if she didnt like me, i would leave her though, i wont change my fit.
The problem was, i dont know she like / hate me, im really bad at reading any sign, so maybe i should direct to her yaa? thx for your advice...
 

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I know she's infp because she said it.
Yeah, maybe my perception is wrong, thats why i ask for your opinion.
Well, if she didnt like me, i would leave her though, i wont change my fit.
The problem was, i dont know she like / hate me, im really bad at reading any sign, so maybe i should direct to her yaa? thx for your advice...
I'm confident she does not hate you. As you have said above she always replies. For me to reply to someone in my private time especially if what they say can have no substance means i find them worth talking to generally. Also for me meeting up with someone 1-on-1 can be a big decision for me, I am sensitive human and take on other peoples energy and their affect can stay with me for days or even weeks. If i know i have other commitment that require large amounts of my attention (in her case it is her family) i will postponse such meetings. This giving and openness INFP have a reputation for is not something we can shut off. We survive and keep happy by managing our availablity to others by using distance as a tool to maintain the silence we vitally need to hear and understand the faint voice in our heart that we trust more than anything.

Talk to her about how you are feeling.
 

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Hi everyone, I'm new to this forum. as for my test i get ISTJ.
So i've INFP friend that i had crush with her. So i start to text her, at first, she respond so slow, and now the response is faster, but idk, sometimes she will continue the conversation, sometimes she wont. when texting sometimes i think she avoiding me (like busy doing other thing), and she never start conservation, but always reply my text no matter how lame it is. i tried take her out 2 times, but rejected because she said have family thing.
My question is that she hate me but try to be polite? how should i get this girl? or should i let her go before she hate me?
Of course, I am not representative of all INFPs, but I have been in this situation a few times (and currently am).

I really hate being rude or mean or inconsiderate to others. And, I also find it so sweet and courageous when someone is interested in me as a friend or as more than a friend.

But, I have difficulty directly letting the person know that I am not interested. I usually act as your friend is acting. I text back. Someone has to overtly/consistently offend in order for me to ignore them. I make up excuses for why I cannot spend time or connect more often.

It's intoxicating to be into someone. But, I think that if we take a step back and for a moment put aside the what could be intensity, we actually know for ourselves whether our feelings are reciprocated by the other -- or not.
 

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Discussion Starter #8
Of course, I am not representative of all INFPs, but I have been in this situation a few times (and currently am).

I really hate being rude or mean or inconsiderate to others. And, I also find it so sweet and courageous when someone is interested in me as a friend or as more than a friend.

But, I have difficulty directly letting the person know that I am not interested. I usually act as your friend is acting. I text back. Someone has to overtly/consistently offend in order for me to ignore them. I make up excuses for why I cannot spend time or connect more often.

It's intoxicating to be into someone. But, I think that if we take a step back and for a moment put aside the what could be intensity, we actually know for ourselves whether our feelings are reciprocated by the other -- or not.
So you think its better dont text her for a while? Like some days maybe?
 

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So you think its better dont text her for a while? Like some days maybe?
Uhmm, I am always reluctant to give advice as I do not know your whole situation.

I kinda don't get the reasoning behind taking a break from texting if your plan is to eventually resume texting her.

What is your goal? Are you okay just being friends with her? I think that you may need to get some clarity for yourself.

I don't tend to like sideways fuzzy stuff. You may have to collect the courage to directly tell her your feelings (if you have not already done so) and see where things go from there.

I wish you the best of luck.
 

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Discussion Starter #10
Uhmm, I am always reluctant to give advice as I do not know your whole situation.

I kinda don't get the reasoning behind taking a break from texting if your plan is to eventually resume texting her.

What is your goal? Are you okay just being friends with her? I think that you may need to get some clarity for yourself.

I don't tend to like sideways fuzzy stuff. You may have to collect the courage to directly tell her your feelings (if you have not already done so) and see where things go from there.

I wish you the best of luck.
My purpose right now just to get know, close to her, & not make things worse, but the problem was i dont know if i should daily text her or give her some space to see her reaction.
Next week i plan to confess my feeling to her, regardless what will happen.
 

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Hey Nathanzz, how did it go?
Personally I'd say just tell her that you like her and that you want to get to know her better. Also I'd tell her that you're interested in being in a relationship with her, but she's not for that, then ask her if its okay to just remain as friends. If she says she needs to think about it, give her space, message her after a week. But if she says she's not interested in friendship, I'm afraid you'll have to give it up. But if she does agree to the friendship you can message her like every 2-3 days but if talking to each other daily is a normal thing for you, there's no need to make things awkward by ghosting her, do what you usually do.
 

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Discussion Starter #12
Hey Nathanzz, how did it go?
Personally I'd say just tell her that you like her and that you want to get to know her better. Also I'd tell her that you're interested in being in a relationship with her, but she's not for that, then ask her if its okay to just remain as friends. If she says she needs to think about it, give her space, message her after a week. But if she says she's not interested in friendship, I'm afraid you'll have to give it up. But if she does agree to the friendship you can message her like every 2-3 days but if talking to each other daily is a normal thing for you, there's no need to make things awkward by ghosting her, do what you usually do.
I dunno, sometimes chance looks good, sometimes nope...
Yeah, i plan to tell her next week...
 
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