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I'm an INTP female. I'm in a relationship and I'm sort of happy. He's an ENTJ. There are so many things that "stress him out" so I avoid bringing them up. I have been avoiding these things for a long time. It likely would not bother me, except that nearly everyday, he wants to have a argument or debate that gets emotional. If he doesn't do this, then he becomes provoking as if to find out "what I actually think about something and am keeping silent". Ironically, this only makes me close down a little more at a time. Not to mention, I would rather run a full marathon, be sleep deprived for a week, be forced to row a boat for five days, be locked alone in a room with dingy light and only a quill pen until I found the cure for cancer, then to feel emotionally exhausted. Emotional exhaustion is far worse and takes me so much longer to feel rested from. I have been feeling this nearly everyday. I do not like constant arguments and become mean if I'm forced to fight. This is probably just due to feeling strained & exhausted.

we've broken up a couple of times. The problem is that I do love him. Also, I just want it to work out. So right now, at least in some capacity, it is.


However, we have a mutual friend who is an ENFP. We've been friends for awhile, it's nice. He's charming, funny, lets me borrow comics (always a plus). He likes sci-fy almost as much as I do. We frequently study Biology and English together. We go for walks & talk about life, probabilities, games, movies, hobbies, etc. He laughs off my social awkwardness (which is also nice). I have so much fun with him & can talk to him about so much, which I can't do with my boyfriend of 3 years. I've developed a crush that I do not want to have, but do not actually want to loose. I know it wouldn't go anywhere. I would never cheat on anyone. They're too good of friends for anything on his part. I don't think he 'likes me' anyway. It would be wonderful in some alternate reality, but not this one. I obviously would never say anything, except once, when I was drunk. He was really kind and hasn't brought it back up, pretending like it never happened.

can I hire a robot to punch everyone involved in the face? What's a girl to do...
 

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黐線 ~Chiseen~
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You're INTP.. you're forbidden to fall into love triangles...

When I mean forbidden, I actually mean "WTF! Problem solve this ASAP as if your life sanity depended on it"...


Hmm... now you got me thinking.. what's more important... life or sanity... I shall dwell on this for the remainder of the day.
 

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Discussion Starter #3
Sanity. Can you imagine living without your brain?!
Far more terrifying....

but then again, if you lost your sanity, you wouldn't know...

Hmmmmmmm!
 

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If your sanity is such value, then why continue in a relationship that seems to hurt your feelings and drains you? You'll have to run a whole lot of marathons if you decide to go on, don't you think?
 

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Discussion Starter #5
Because, there are good aspects of our relationship as well.
and from what I've read, intp's typically defer to their mates and have trouble leaving relationships. Also, it seems like we're the most likely to not be happy in love.
 

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The fact that you are noticing traits of someone else that your current partner lacks shows to me that you are at least a bit conflicted.
Are you at an age where you are ready to settle down or do you still want to have some fun? Even if this other guy wasn't in the picture would you be content?

I work with a girl who is in her mid 20's and lives with her boyfriend but is in no hurry to get married but just wants to be in something secure which I get to a certain point. Could you see yourself with an ENFP type long term or just as friends? If you have legitimate questions, maybe you should at least look around.
 

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Why don't you just talk to the ENTJ, and explain how he is stressing you out by constantly provoking you? Maybe he'd realize he needs to back off a little/open up about what's bothering him.
 
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Discussion Starter #8
I am in my mid 20's, but I am still in school and plan on going further after this degree (in a science field). I relate to not being ready to settle down, but wanting commitment.

If the entj took things a tad lighter, I think more of our relationship would be okay. He's extremely serious...about things that I see as pretty minimal. He also tends to be idealistic and forgiving to himself and more strict on others. I do end up accidentally hurting his feelings a lot.

Maybe I just need to date another intp. ;) hahahha. Oh, that could be bad.

As far as talking to him: I do try, but he takes most things extremely personal.

I don't actually think it would work out with the enfp at all, which is probably why I've allowed it to continue. It's "safe" in a manor of speaking. Because, to be honest, if he ever told me he was interested, I wouldn't leave my boyfriend for him.
 

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Discussion Starter #9
Also, it's apparently extremely easier to talk to strangers on the Internet about this than anyone I know in person.
 

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Is the ENFP a mango? If so I recommend turning him upside down and examining his cheeks for texture first. They're usually ripe in all the wrong places and sloppier than they seem at first.
 
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