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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
So, I'm in grad school now.

One of my classes, there is this Latina girl taking a class at my school within the University (she is a grad student at another school within the University).

Instantly, I thought she was cute. There are about 10 people in the class, professor had us all introduce ourselves to each other individually. I turned around, she was there with her hand out, hair parted to the side, I butchered her name but have been infatuated since.

The following class, I caught her in the elevator. Asked her her name again, reintroduced myself, we said goodbye.

NEXT class, we were put into research groups. I'm sitting next to her. She laughs at EVERYTHING I say, and at one point, I was talking looking her dead in the eyes. She was smiling, not batting an eye.

After class, we walked together for a bit. Prior class, she went other direction, this class, she said, "OH yeah, I usually go that way, but I think I'm going to stop by my apartment (an excuse to walk with me)?"

I get a bit nervous around her, and am a bit serious around her outside of class (a little jokier in class -- for what it's worth, my best friend thinks these nerves may be seen favorably with her).

Today's class, I was excited to see her. At the beginning of class, I was walking out as she was walking in, after my weak "sup" and smile, she smiled with a "hey." Unfortunately, this other guy sat down next to me before she got the chance. She and I didn't get to interact a whole lot during class (we were put into research groups, but it was for such a small amount of time). I thought I'd catch her on the elevator to keep the tradition alive, but the guy I was sitting next to (a former prosecutor) was talking my ear off a bit. Ah well.

It's hard for me to type her right now. I feel as if people have almost different personalities giving the situation. She comes off as an introvert to me, but I can't get much further than that.

Thoughts? I figured I'd write out these ideas on the internet-sphere, see what other people thought of it.
 

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Discussion Starter · #4 ·
I am thinking about asking her to coffee (if she's free) after class tomorrow. I just fear that if I try and script the conversation too much in my head prior, I'll be super nervous.

My thought was, after class, if I catch her on the elevator, just ask her where she's heading, and if she doesn't have any concrete plans, tell her I'm going for coffee and that she's welcome to join me.

I'm also nervous, for some reason, that I am coming across too much as a friend?

Damn, my INTJ over-analytical mind.
 

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I am thinking about asking her to coffee (if she's free) after class tomorrow. I just fear that if I try and script the conversation too much in my head prior, I'll be super nervous.

My thought was, after class, if I catch her on the elevator, just ask her where she's heading, and if she doesn't have any concrete plans, tell her I'm going for coffee and that she's welcome to join me.

I'm also nervous, for some reason, that I am coming across too much as a friend?

Damn, my INTJ over-analytical mind.
Are you going for coffee alone? If so, seems like a good plan to me.
 

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I am thinking about asking her to coffee (if she's free) after class tomorrow. I just fear that if I try and script the conversation too much in my head prior, I'll be super nervous.

My thought was, after class, if I catch her on the elevator, just ask her where she's heading, and if she doesn't have any concrete plans, tell her I'm going for coffee and that she's welcome to join me.

I'm also nervous, for some reason, that I am coming across too much as a friend?

Damn, my INTJ over-analytical mind.
Don't over analyze everything. Just do it! :)
 

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Script? bad. Outline? good. Have a purpose, but don't put too much thought into the execution, that will kill your mojo.

If it works for you, present it in your mind like you are goping to tell her a joke (utilize your playful features) even though the words won't be joking. THat shuould allow you to use your natural non-serious skills.
 

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Discussion Starter · #8 ·
I will let you all know how it goes tomorrow.

If she doesn't have time/is doing other things, I'll postpone asking her until next week. No rush. I just know, especially in a more collegiate atmosphere, things move QUICKLY, and if she caught the eye of another guy in another one of her classes (and I'm willing to bet she has), it may be a matter of who acts first.
 

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It might be a bit too scary to say yes to coffee with a classmate she's just seen a couple times. It'd have been for me back in my university days even if I liked the guy. So if she says no or if she's a bit reluctant, try take a group of people, including her, to that coffee. That way she might not feel that intimidated.
 

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It might be a bit too scary to say yes to coffee with a classmate she's just seen a couple times. It'd have been for me back in my university days even if I liked the guy. So if she says no or if she's a bit reluctant, try take a group of people, including her, to that coffee. That way she might not feel that intimidated.
Opposite for me, i feel way more comfortable in a one on one setting.
 

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It might be a bit too scary to say yes to coffee with a classmate she's just seen a couple times. It'd have been for me back in my university days even if I liked the guy. So if she says no or if she's a bit reluctant, try take a group of people, including her, to that coffee. That way she might not feel that intimidated.
I'm obviously not a girl, but I don't know what's so scary about going to get a coffee with someone. It's not like you're being called by a stranger to go to a dark alley with him, and coffee seems casual enough to not being seen as a serious date.
 

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Discussion Starter · #13 ·
A lot of things happened, way too much going.

Ultimately, I didn't ask her because, mostly, I didn't think it appropriate nor did I really have the chance.

Her family is in Puerto Rico. Sort of in my favor, another student asked me if MY family was doing alright, which was inaccurate as my family isn't in Puerto Rico. I redirected that student to the Puerto Rican girl (lady in question), and asked her across the room, "hey, how is your family doing?"

She admitted to being a bit distraught because, well, she didn't know. She excused herself later from class to take a phone call from her brother.

Anyways, not looking to read into things too much, but I did think she dressed much nicer today than she has in the past. I don't know if there was any reason for it (I, too, tend to try and dress nicer in that class including wearing slightly tighter shirts and short sleeves to show off my arms and tattoos), but her hair was done up, there was makeup on her face, and she was wearing a button down that was revealing skin well below her neck. Again, just an observation, could have been her random choice of clothing today.

We worked in groups today, and admittedly, this class is probably my weakest class, so I assumed the position of observer only interjecting once in a while when I had something meaningful to say. The other 3 students (all women) were doing all of the talking.

It's a confusing project, but the Puerto Rican girl asked us for our numbers. Now, again, this could be because she literally thought it may be necessary to contact us as she completes her part of the project, but my thought instantly went to "isn't that what email is for?" So, in a sort of roundabout way, I have her phone number now.

I never went to coffee because I had a meeting with a professor shortly after that class in the same building. As she left, I smiled at her, and she was texting away on her phone, looked up, say "bye," and that was that.

I am genuinely confused about part of the assignment (due Monday). I'm thinking about texting her on Friday letting her know I'm confused and asking her if she could shed some light on the assignment for me.

It's a thin line to walk, not making any interaction with her too awkward and thus making the class awkward and also, essentially, trying to "pick her up." Some times I wonder if it is even worth it.
 

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I don't get what you're thinking about. There is no "trying". You just ask her out and that's the end of it. She says no or yes. Expect to have your heart crushed. Don't hate her when she does it; it's not her fault. But if she says yes, THEN the game is on. The game hasn't even started yet.

There will never be a 'right time'.

Do not try to avoid making it awkward. That's impossible.

Just do it.
 

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A lot of things happened, way too much going.

Ultimately, I didn't ask her because, mostly, I didn't think it appropriate nor did I really have the chance.

Her family is in Puerto Rico. Sort of in my favor, another student asked me if MY family was doing alright, which was inaccurate as my family isn't in Puerto Rico. I redirected that student to the Puerto Rican girl (lady in question), and asked her across the room, "hey, how is your family doing?"

She admitted to being a bit distraught because, well, she didn't know. She excused herself later from class to take a phone call from her brother.

Anyways, not looking to read into things too much, but I did think she dressed much nicer today than she has in the past. I don't know if there was any reason for it (I, too, tend to try and dress nicer in that class including wearing slightly tighter shirts and short sleeves to show off my arms and tattoos), but her hair was done up, there was makeup on her face, and she was wearing a button down that was revealing skin well below her neck. Again, just an observation, could have been her random choice of clothing today.

We worked in groups today, and admittedly, this class is probably my weakest class, so I assumed the position of observer only interjecting once in a while when I had something meaningful to say. The other 3 students (all women) were doing all of the talking.

It's a confusing project, but the Puerto Rican girl asked us for our numbers. Now, again, this could be because she literally thought it may be necessary to contact us as she completes her part of the project, but my thought instantly went to "isn't that what email is for?" So, in a sort of roundabout way, I have her phone number now.

I never went to coffee because I had a meeting with a professor shortly after that class in the same building. As she left, I smiled at her, and she was texting away on her phone, looked up, say "bye," and that was that.

I am genuinely confused about part of the assignment (due Monday). I'm thinking about texting her on Friday letting her know I'm confused and asking her if she could shed some light on the assignment for me.

It's a thin line to walk, not making any interaction with her too awkward and thus making the class awkward and also, essentially, trying to "pick her up." Some times I wonder if it is even worth it.
Way to go bro. XD

I think women starts trying to look.good if she likes someone.

If i like someone, i will always make an effort to look.good. Hahaha. XD

I think you have a chance, but again, never assume and keep the momentum going! XD
 

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Just go on your own phase. Some may like going it faster. But ofcourse you'll know better. Just don't doubt yourself and as much as possible if there's a chance, go grab it! Never doubt because you're on the right track. XD push. Push. XD
 

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Discussion Starter · #18 ·
Way to go bro. XD

I think women starts trying to look.good if she likes someone.

If i like someone, i will always make an effort to look.good. Hahaha. XD

I think you have a chance, but again, never assume and keep the momentum going! XD
I was JUST going to ask if a lady had an opinion hahaha
Another thing that was interesting (and didn't work to my advantage) was that the professor asked us to sit in our groups. 2 of the 3 girls (the third being PR) were already sitting together. I thought I was smart by strategically sitting down, but PR sat on the OPPOSITE side of me (we were on the ends). Could have been that she just didn't care if she sat next to me or not (bad), OR it could have been that she was already preoccupied/didn't want to be too obvious (good).

Ultimately, since there was 4 of us, I offered to sit opposite of them 3, so I was, essentially, right across from PR, but I didn't see any definitive indicators of interest.

Either way, I'm going to still text her on Friday (I figure I should wait as to not come across as an eager puppy).
 

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I was JUST going to ask if a lady had an opinion hahaha
Another thing that was interesting (and didn't work to my advantage) was that the professor asked us to sit in our groups. 2 of the 3 girls (the third being PR) were already sitting together. I thought I was smart by strategically sitting down, but PR sat on the OPPOSITE side of me (we were on the ends). Could have been that she just didn't care if she sat next to me or not (bad), OR it could have been that she was already preoccupied/didn't want to be too obvious (good).

Ultimately, since there was 4 of us, I offered to sit opposite of them 3, so I was, essentially, right across from PR, but I didn't see any definitive indicators of interest.

Either way, I'm going to still text her on Friday (I figure I should wait as to not come across as an eager puppy).
Yeah. Just take it easy and never assume yet unless there's already a huge sign. Just go pursuing :)
 

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I'm obviously not a girl, but I don't know what's so scary about going to get a coffee with someone. It's not like you're being called by a stranger to go to a dark alley with him, and coffee seems casual enough to not being seen as a serious date.
I didn't mean that kind of scary, but in a shiness/awkwardness kind of way. Also, if I didn't control a situation like that I tended to run away. Now I'm a bit better, but it's still a bit scary to suddenly go out to get a coffee and be asked just out of the blue - I'm normally the one asking tbh.

I was JUST going to ask if a lady had an opinion hahaha
Another thing that was interesting (and didn't work to my advantage) was that the professor asked us to sit in our groups. 2 of the 3 girls (the third being PR) were already sitting together. I thought I was smart by strategically sitting down, but PR sat on the OPPOSITE side of me (we were on the ends). Could have been that she just didn't care if she sat next to me or not (bad), OR it could have been that she was already preoccupied/didn't want to be too obvious (good).

Ultimately, since there was 4 of us, I offered to sit opposite of them 3, so I was, essentially, right across from PR, but I didn't see any definitive indicators of interest.

Either way, I'm going to still text her on Friday (I figure I should wait as to not come across as an eager puppy).
Just a tiny note here: as teachers, we are very much aware of who likes whom and I personally enjoy pairing up the ones who obviously have a thing for each other. Maybe it was just a coincidence, but maybe the professor saw something there :cool:
 
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