That's a good way to look at it. And I agree.I don't like crying in front of people unless I'm sharing a something sincere. The tears can help express sincerity, and in that case, they're nothing I feel ashamed of in that moment.
It can be frustrating I'm sure. Sometimes people don't get the fact that people have different ways to cope.Nymma said:I am a master at getting rid of it until I can be alone(and even then, I decide if I want to explore it). I've been seen as "cold, unfeeling, wrong" because while everyone expressed their grief and whatnot at funerals & other rememberance moments, I just sat still with an eternally impassive face. Society is so judgmental...It horrifies me to realize how emotionally intrusive 99% of the people are, how deep runs their lack of understanding...
How often (if ever) do you cry? What compels you to cry? Do you ever cry in front of other people? What would you think if someone cried in front of you? (I don't mean feeling like you want to cry, but actual tears coming down your face, crying)
I however have no problem keeping tears at bay and delaying the emotional turbulence when major events like death of a loved one happens. For some reason, I seem to automatically detach from everything and keep on going like nothing had happened. I actually don't feel a thing for the following 3-4 months, and when the horror finally sparks whithin, I am a master at getting rid of it until I can be alone(and even then, I decide if I want to explore it). I've been seen as "cold, unfeeling, wrong" because while everyone expressed their grief and whatnot at funerals & other rememberance moments, I just sat still with an eternally impassive face. Society is so judgmental...It horrifies me to realize how emotionally intrusive 99% of the people are, how deep runs their lack of understanding... (Though in retrospect, funerals are not the greatest places to mention you're against the idea of funerals...)
"When someone is crying, of course, the noble thing to do is to comfort them. But if someone is trying to hide their tears, it may also be noble to pretend you do not notice them.” --Lemony Snicket.
I'm the same way at funerals. My grandmother died in February and I felt that I had to be the strong one for everyone else, but my whole extended family construed me more as cold and unfeeling, like Nymma. But then it kind of 'hit me' last month on my school trip to Disney. We were at mass and the girl whose mother planned my grandmother's funeral walked by and I said "I don't really like her, but I have to be nice to her because her mother planned my grandmother's funeral." And then all of a sudden I was about to start hysterical crying and I had to just look straight ahead and not move because I couldn't cry in front of my entire school!I try not to cry, espcially infront of others. Even like at funerals, or with someone who is dying, I don't cry because I want to be strong for the other people who are with me. I want to be strong for their sake. But if it is something really heavy, I will cry and mourn in private.
I can believe it. It's not like a doctor is there to judge you, they're there to help you. And most of them care very much about confidentiality.Interesting time for this thread --- I had a doctor's appointment today - and I broke down and cried while telling her about my disability and existential crisis .. my mom was there as well.
I haven't cried in front of someone in over 20 years - and it had to happen today.
It felt ... strangely cathartic --- but humiliating at the same time.
I don't think anyone really likes crying in public. And I see a lot of people who've mentioned that. Why is that though? Is it like a fear of being judged? *is curious*I've cried in public before, but I try my best to hold it in. I once cried on a train and managed to hide it, but my eyes were still red, which freaked the shit out of people when I talked to them after I'd wiped my tears and put my great big 3 "things are just fine" smile on my face. :laughing:
It's kind of a 3 thing, I think. We want to present the best public image possible, and crying in public skews that image into a weaker one, less in control of our emotions. It is a bit of a fear of being judged -- but this is just my experience as a 3.I don't think anyone really likes crying in public. And I see a lot of people who've mentioned that. Why is that though? Is it like a fear of being judged? *is curious*
I don't like doing such in public as I don't like causing a scene or attracting attention. My mother drilled that into me when very young that people don't like seeing such behavior, especially from children. It gets them upset and worried.
...I am sorry to hear you have experienced such disgusting care. Yes chronic pain tends to be well, chronic. But I agree it's not always a permanent deal, people are just too varied to make a call like that. We've all seen amazing recoveries, and they happen more often that people think if motivated enough.You would be surprised by how many doctors judge. I, too, have received shitty treatment from physicians, and was told, right to my face, "Accept that you will always be in pain. Chronic pain never, ever goes away". Well, it depends on the pain condition, as well as the individual, but this is promising doom without evidence, and is very, very damaging to patients. It *is* possible to recover, at least to some extent, and individuals do function again after lengthy illness (but it can take years to see change). A lot of people with chronic conditions get that statement thrown in their face. What's really terrible about it is that it leads to self-fulfilling prophecies. When people are told "Expect a shitty life", many will believe it, and will consciously or subconsciously gravitate towards negativity. It's disgusting how many MDs violate the Hippocratic Oath.