oi.
registering for a forum, let alone posting anything in one (especially starting a new thread entirely)- very unlike me. in the interest of running a bit of an experiment on myself, i've decided to (temporarily?) overcome my fear of involvement and just do this. (hi, nice to meet you.)
i recently stumbled upon this whole enneagram deal, and am surprised at how... surprised i am by it. research and reflection has lead me to think that i am most decidedly a type five. i found i was taken aback by just how accurately various descriptions of this type apply to me- personally, things haven't exactly been fantastic for me the past few years, and i've found that much of the information i've found on this type has led me to some insights about myself (regarding fear-based motivations in particular) which have sufficiently silenced most of my skepticism regarding so called 'personality tests' (quite skeptical of them- and yet endlessly intrigued by them).
in researching, and being so surprised by my own interest, i've come up with countless questions (so many, that it's difficult for me to keep track of them- if this post seems a bit fragmented... that's probably why). the main motivation for me posting at all is that i've come to a bit of a roadblock- an obnoxious one, because, by it's very nature, it seems i can't get past it on my own- i need other people's opinions.
here goes, i guess:
-was anyone else _glad_ to discover they were a five? from any sort of visceral basis, i cannot comprehend thinking the way any other types apparently do. there's logic in them, sure, but i can't help but think 'what better way to be than like this?' ha.
-(kind of an advice-seeking one here) this... emotion/feeling business. every description i've read about this type regarding emotions has hit home for me. identifying emotions is particularly difficult for me (that is; i know i'm feeling something.. what the hell it is? no idea. what the hell to do with them? clueless.) messy, unpredictable things- i'm very wary of them. that said, (and i rather dislike admitting this), i'm getting a little sick of all of that. any more seasoned fives here have advice on what exactly one does with these pesky feelings?
-the whole matter of healthy vs unheathy variants of type- part of me feels like some silly rebellious teenager for this, but i find it's much easier for me to identify with and justify some of the more 'unhealthy' five tendencies- but it seems a more mature part understands that there are potentials i can aim for in recognizing some of my more unconscious habits and selectively overriding them. the problem is the method. how the hell...? granted, just posting something in a forum is a rather significant step for me in this area, but then again, this is only a test. going... outside? making friends? ...do i really have to? rrgh. (maybe, some tiny piece of me kind of wants to... but dear god, don't tell anyone i said that.)
i should probably stop this now before i change my mind and delete everything- ha. i suppose all i'm really looking for here is any sort of... input. any of this resonate with anybody? anyone have any particular thoughts/advice? did any of this generate any questions (oh, do tell)?
thanks in advance for tolerating all of this. i'm intrigued by what i've found lurking here- i look forward to seeing more.
