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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Title says it. IMHO, am leaning towards ESTJs, but I think that there is more activity on the ISTJ forum so I was just wondering about what you guys think about this - do you think it can be ESTJ?

There is someone that was recently assigned to work in the project I am directing - we are the same age, same major, same year of graduation (this past May). And it is getting to the point of seriously irking me. His emails are extremely formal, despite how laid-back I know he is IRL. We were also acquaintances before working together on this project, so we're also facebook friends :tongue: I feel like even when we are with other acquaintances from another organization (outside of the project), he suddenly straightens up, gets super polite and formal towards me, which bothers me because i see this project more as a collaboration of colleagues, and I am just doing the directing as another post-bac. student, but not as a boss-supervisor. And it also bothers me, because I feel like I'm being perceived as some kind of authoritarian dictator that must be treated professionally and formally.

The pro. to this behavior is that he gets things done, when I ask him to get things done. And I am somewhat impressed by this. He's the only person I haven't had to gently remind about certain deadlines or projects, because he'll get them to me in advance, and he'll do exactly what I asked. [crossfingers] Let's just hope it stays this way! [/crossfingers] I've ruled out ISTJ and INTJ, based on observations of my close friends, so I'm leaning towards ESTJ and ENTJ. funny thing, i seem to be running into these types a lot more lately. Whatever he is, he has a really HIGH J. so anyway, just based off of this super formality and professionalism, which type is most likely to be like this?
 

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I agree; ESTJ. Although we can run a close second; if I don't know the person or don't know them well, I can fall into this very easily as well.
 

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There is someone that was recently assigned to work in the project I am directing - we are the same age, same major, same year of graduation (this past May). And it is getting to the point of seriously irking me. His emails are extremely formal, despite how laid-back I know he is IRL. We were also acquaintances before working together on this project, so we're also facebook friends :tongue: I feel like even when we are with other acquaintances from another organization (outside of the project), he suddenly straightens up, gets super polite and formal towards me, which bothers me because i see this project more as a collaboration of colleagues, and I am just doing the directing as another post-bac. student, but not as a boss-supervisor. And it also bothers me, because I feel like I'm being perceived as some kind of authoritarian dictator that must be treated professionally and formally.
Don't let his actions bother you. Seems to me the guy's being respectful of your position as the project director. I'd do the same thing if I were in his position; and if I happen to be the same age/major/same year graduate/online and offline friends with my 'boss', I'd especially take care not to come across as being unprofessional at the workplace.

If he's displaying formality towards you in front of members of other organizations, I'd say you've done something to really earn his respect - apparently he thinks it's important to acknowledge your seniority in front of others. Still, if you'd like the work to be the 'collaboration of colleagues' that you view it as, talk to him about it and he'll listen to you.
 

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Discussion Starter · #5 · (Edited)
I thought about this more and I think I'd like to keep this "professional distance", especially if it is enforcing good behavior and efficient work, which is more important than how I feel. I'll keep everything you guys said in mind, and i wont let it bother me too much.

I guess I just don't like the feeling of commanding or directing or managing others, and I feel like an authoritarian jerk when i have to dictate the conversation flow or start assigning people things. And when people respond by being even more formal and professional, then I start feeling even more authoritarian. and i think i feel uncomfortable specifically directing people who are more naturally inclined to command or assert their authority (entj, estj) especially more if it's men.
 

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curious0610,

In regards to your question: "Which type is most likely to be overly professional /formal?", I believe ENTJ's are also guilty of this. As an ENTJ, my emails tend to be very formal and I take great care to format things properly. I hope this provides some further insight.

Kind Regards,
Troisi
EVP of Formal Email Writing
 

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Discussion Starter · #7 ·
curious0610,

In regards to your question: "Which type is most likely to be overly professional /formal?", I believe ENTJ's are also guilty of this. As an ENTJ, my emails tend to be very formal and I take great care to format things properly. I hope this provides some further insight.

Kind Regards,
Troisi
EVP of Formal Email Writing
Troisi,

Thank you for your insight. Given the feedback I've received, it seems that colleagues with strong T and J preferences display this tendency. It is of their nature, essentially.

Cordially,
Curious Ohsixten
Director of Curiosity for PerC
 
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