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Kinda doubt this is an INFP thing, but maybe some of you can relate. Right now my family is having my older brother's bday dinner at home. Everyones over (his fiance, my older sis, her fiance, my younger sister, and my parents). Everytime they come over i feel extremely uncomfortable. I cant hold a conversation with any of them (except my younger sis cuz she still lives at home and we are pretty close). They all think im stuck up or w/e and ill admit i treat them pretty cold, not because i want to be mean, but it's some sort of defense mechanism when they try to get me to open up.

It's been like this ever since their fiances started coming to the house, and they treat me like some kinda alien. During dinner i just sat there looking at my cup of fanta while occasionally pouring others something to drink and or cleaning up plates (i feel like a fucking waiter that happens to be eating dinner with them).

So here i am just sitting in my room while they have very loud/hilarious conversations. I wish i could just get outta the house for the next couple hours..the fact that they are still in the house is very draining on me even though im in my room by myself.
 

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Subterranean Homesick Alien
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I feel uncomfortable with family members who are not in my immediate family. I don't really think they treat me like I'm alien or anything, I just feel uncomfortable with them for no real reason. I just weather family get-togethers. It's all you can do...
 

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I feel uncomfortable around family members too who aren't immediate. I just get very shy around them and feel kind of awkward around them.
 

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Subterranean Homesick Alien
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my advise is to make a mask personality for social gatherings.
I naturally mask my personality until I REALLY get to know people. In these situations, I opt to just keep to myself as much as possible...
 

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yeah i know what you mean: people just gossiping about people i don't know and stuff i don't care about and laughing at things that don't even seem funny. it jsut overwhelms me i can't process it all and worse i can't ignore it. i guess that's it's just the extraverts gain so much energy from it they can go on like that. i'm always torn-rude to avoid it unpleasant to endure it.

my advise is to make a mask personality for social gatherings.
Alot of INFPs are type 4 so thats not so easy.
 
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Kinda doubt this is an INFP thing, but maybe some of you can relate. Right now my family is having my older brother's bday dinner at home. Everyones over (his fiance, my older sis, her fiance, my younger sister, and my parents). Everytime they come over i feel extremely uncomfortable. I cant hold a conversation with any of them (except my younger sis cuz she still lives at home and we are pretty close). They all think im stuck up or w/e and ill admit i treat them pretty cold, not because i want to be mean, but it's some sort of defense mechanism when they try to get me to open up.

It's been like this ever since their fiances started coming to the house, and they treat me like some kinda alien. During dinner i just sat there looking at my cup of fanta while occasionally pouring others something to drink and or cleaning up plates (i feel like a fucking waiter that happens to be eating dinner with them).

So here i am just sitting in my room while they have very loud/hilarious conversations. I wish i could just get outta the house for the next couple hours..the fact that they are still in the house is very draining on me even though im in my room by myself.

This shit used to bother me all the time. I used to hate it when people I don't know come over and chit chat the night away. I detested their very presence because I felt they were invading my house! I can totally relate to your experience with the whole staring at a cup of fanta when there's nothing to talk about...I end up doing the dishes too, just so I don't come across like a complete asshole.

Over time though, I learned to not get anxious or angry over it. I've come to realization that some people just see the world differently and cannot possibly understand my aloofness. That's just the way things are. Sometimes, when I'm in a good mood I'll entertain their silly rituals.
 

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All that applies to me is in bold.

Kinda doubt this is an INFP thing, but maybe some of you can relate. Right now my family is having my older brother's bday dinner at home. Everyones over (his fiance, my older sis, her fiance, my younger sister, and my parents). Everytime they come over i feel extremely uncomfortable. I cant hold a conversation with any of them (except my younger sis cuz she still lives at home and we are pretty close). They all think im stuck up or w/e and ill admit i treat them pretty cold, not because i want to be mean, but it's some sort of defense mechanism when they try to get me to open up.

It's been like this ever since their fiances started coming to the house, and they treat me like some kinda alien. During dinner i just sat there looking at my cup of fanta while occasionally pouring others something to drink and or cleaning up plates (i feel like a fucking waiter that happens to be eating dinner with them).

So here i am just sitting in my room while they have very loud/hilarious conversations. I wish i could just get outta the house for the next couple hours..the fact that they are still in the house is very draining on me even though im in my room by myself.
I also get uncomfortable at family dinners when anyone that I don't see on a regular basis is around. It's pretty established in my family, not just immediate, that I am more like the black sheep. I am my own explanation when people ask a family member whats wrong with me. I don't act very cold towards the people in my opinion, I just don't talk. I will answer but not attempt to establish a conversation. I also am always the first one to leave the table, and return to anywhere where I can find some seclusion.
 

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I think I'm probably one of those black sheep as well in my family. They never ask me what's wrong when I'm sometimes really quiet, but I think they draw their own conclusions and just think I'm crazy, or something? My family is really loud, big, both sides have lots of aunts, uncles, cousins, nieces, even very very close family friends and their families, and most of them are extroverted. There are a few relatives I talk with a lot, and I'm constantly reaffirming and losing bonds with a lot of them because it just isn't possible to keep in constant contact with every single one. I love all my family though, equally, and it really sucks that it's so hard for me to express that with them.
 

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I feel the same way. I feel uncomfortable having guess around here in general. Its just the pressure to say something even though you have nothing to say. I know you can say hello, but it still feels awkward.. I guess its an introvert thing, maybe. I mean is it enough that I feel different from people in general and my family too? I sometimes feel like there has been some sort of mistake at birth, and I ended up in the wrong womb if you know what I mean.


yeah i know what you mean: people just gossiping about people i don't know and stuff i don't care about and laughing at things that don't even seem funny. it jsut overwhelms me i can't process it all and worse i can't ignore it. i guess that's it's just the extraverts gain so much energy from it they can go on like that. i'm always torn-rude to avoid it unpleasant to endure it.


Alot of INFPs are type 4 so thats not so easy.

Yes, yes, and yes. 4w5 BTW.
 

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I don't usually hate guests in my house, particularly not family that I enjoy the company of, but a lot of it has to do with strangers and the vibes they give off and how it makes me feel since it's in my house.

Some family, or friends of my parents' friends come over and it can be fine, just really awkward until they talk to me and genuinely want to get to know me better. Other times non-immediate family/friends come over, maybe already with opinions about me and just ready to shoot me down (in a family of extroverts I am sometimes the conspicuous black sheep yay), I freak out and immediately feel unreasonably uncomfortable and wanna leave the house altogether.

This isn't really nice of me and does nothing to beat the quiet & boring stereotype, but hey what can you do? :unsure:
 

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I hate family dinners o_O Especially when my ISFJ (that type is like build for family dinners) mom is always picking on me because seems like I'm incapable to follow the right protocol. I hide in my room, in the table I either stare my plate or out of the window. And I don't want to talk to anyone. And I hate when people keep asking about my life and plans (that's mostly because I feel like a total failure because I change career every year and I wish I wasn't forced to talk about my life especially to people I don't know well/care about nor trust).
 

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Discussion Starter #13
I hate family dinners o_O Especially when my ISFJ (that type is like build for family dinners) mom is always picking on me because seems like I'm incapable to follow the right protocol. I hide in my room, in the table I either stare my plate or out of the window. And I don't want to talk to anyone. And I hate when people keep asking about my life and plans (that's mostly because I feel like a total failure because I change career every year and I wish I wasn't forced to talk about my life especially to people I don't know well/care about nor trust).
that is exactly me to the T.
we're not alone though, atleast..:laughing:
 

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Haha, the relatives or family friends asking you 'what are you doing with your life?' is such a great thing when I am unemployed and no longer at university. Yeah, dinners and get togethers like that are horrible Acey, I guess we're stuck with just struggling through them and not showing up when you get older.
 

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I've been very fortunate to have a very understanding family that loves me dearly. I can relate to you though when I am with my close friends. I just can't stand being with any group of friends, I always make an excuse to leave early. If it's a sleepover, I'll tell everyone I have to leave early in the morning, wait until everyone is asleep, and walk home at 2am.
 

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I just don't like the awkward moments when everyone is happy about this or that and you have nothing to say cause you are thinking about X thing and then they ask you and want to give you guidance and want to discuss something that just isn't suited for their ears. I think I do this because most of my family(the rest) are extroverts and they always judged me in the spot without letting me talk or anything, putting me to shame(as a child) or simply putting me in the spot in the most inappropriate times. I always hide from family gatherings(xmas, bdays and new years included because) I am just on another planet, except when I am high and want to talk to everyone :p
plus I dont like the gossip and getting drunk with family.:X
 
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