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Going to an ESTJ christian school threw me into the "dark side" dramatically

But after being in my first year of college, i have come back a lot and changed the way i live my life and my creativity is actually appreciated by a few people instead of being rejected like an idiot

Being an idealist is bittersweet, especially an INFP because i have a need to be appreciated (not over the top) and understood

but in our society, us INFP's are not appreciated or understood and I have first-hand experience here

I will never be upbeat or bubbly for sure, but it helps to laugh and have a good time
 

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I am unfortunately a dark INFP at the moment. I blame it on bullying, relationship problems, parental problems, and moving every 5 years as a child. My whole slogan for the last 10 years or so (I'm 26) has been "**** the world". I am very bitter and get agitated easily because I always expect the worse from people. So when it happens, it confirms my beliefs. Here lately, I'm trying to be optimistic and happy. Perception varies from person to person, so what is dark is also positive to many...I just have to find a way to flip the switch.
 

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i never wanted to be a dark infp, but i think i am now.

i used to be light, bubbly. i always had this kinda darkness "in me" that i've been referencing a lot in recent years...
but on the whole i used to be very, very idealistic and dreamy and excitable.

now i'm just... i always come back to dark. anxiety, pointlessness, depression, dark dark dark.
eugh.

i have my moments but you know. i dunno man. i dunno what i'm saying, i'm tired, haha
 

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I think they are both talking out of there asses... :)
We are all both, either way.

I feel that we tend to be fake on here and on video sometimes... Hmm...
The real us is too scary to show. ^_^
 

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im either one or the other depending on my mood, mostly the positive one, but sometimes when im down im very negative about everything and humanity in general, but then again i keep it to myself and go out to ppl when im fine again
 

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To be honest, I think I'm more of the darker one, even though a lot of the time I try to make things brighter. But like someone else suggested, I think it's more because I've had to morph myself into something I'm not to get through common life. I reckon I'd be a lot happier if I was given the chance to be more myself; to stop putting up the barrier between my emotions and myself and... *sniffsniff* I smell cheese :D

EDIT: Oh, and yes it does depend on my mood as well.
 

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I'm pretty dark for an INFP--at least from what you might guess when reading the usual MBTI type description. I'm depressed, fatalistic, and very cynical. I'm often mistaken for an INTP type instead, because I've learned to utilize my T(e) fairly effectively, but it's not my main forte. I've been sad and anxious at just about every stage of my life--and filled with doubts, wounds, and uncertainties. I'm looking forward to the future when I'll have my life taken care of--when I'll be independent, have a job that satisfies me and allows me to pay the bills, have time to write and get published, and have someone in my life whom I can share it with. Is this too much to ask the universe? As the years have gone by, I can't help but shake the notion that the answer is a firm, resounding "yes".

My writing tends to be pretty dark, too. It is fantastical, bizarre, and psychological, almost to a fault. I don't know or care much about the contemporary world, so I don't aim to write contemporary fiction. As a wounded romantic, I simply can't relate to a love story unless it's either tragic or unrequited. Otherwise, it just doesn't ring true for me. Hollywood makes a living out of lying to us about love. In my fiction, romantic love is portrayed as an admirable but fleeting and hopeless endeavor.

The first short story I wrote for a writing workshop was about a miserable and alienated high school senior who falls in love with a female friend of his but is rejected. He later discovers that she doesn't attend school for fear of encountering her ex-boyfriend, who previously stalked and raped her. Our protagonist then takes matters into his own hands, brings a revolver to school, and murders the ex and his jerk jock friend before putting the gun to his own head.

I can't tell you how good it felt to write this piece. As it was written in 1st person present tense, it read sort of like a cross between Catcher in the Rye and Taxi Driver. I was told later by my professor that this story scared the hell out of some people. I guess they thought I was the sort of person that would shoot other people.

I later wrote another story with similar dynamic, except it took place in an entirely different setting and context. There was one horrifying rape scene, which disturbed me so much I could barely bring to finish it. I pulled myself away from the computer in tears. When this piece was passed out, my professor told me (without mentioning names), that some reader wondered if I "got some satisfaction" out of the predicament of the main character, which disgusted me. I thought the fact that I told the story from her point of view should have left no doubt as to where my sympathy was.

And there was another story about a sexually frustrated collegian who is harrassed by a psychotic talking vagina that appears on a wall. It's only referred to as "the hole in the wall" in the story, but the description is pretty clear as to what it actually is. This piece offended at least one reader, who refused to critique it or read any further.

But those were my early days, when my writing was more like a child's voice when he discovers he first has one and screams uncontrollably. I am far removed from these pieces now and can't stand to re-read them. They just aren't as interesting to me now, and I try to steer clear of anything too exploitative or schlocky.
 

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I find it odd that you use the words 'dark' vrs. 'positive'..instead of each of their opposites, light and negative..Thats a little confusing to me..Darkness is within us all and we all have the capacity to be 'positive' though the majority of people the majority of the time tend to be a little negative I find. Its harder in life being optimistic but if you are putting out a lot of positive energy you will get that back.
 

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Very interesting topic.

Hmm. I could say I switch between these two types, with the basis of being positive. Negativity is usually temporary, and I become "dark" when I notice that I need to work against my nature to get things done or having few black-and-white "realizations." External stimuli affects strongly my internal world - for example, if many things fail during the day and get critizied, I see myself loathing myself and hating the world and it's imperfect stance. Shadow function, perhaps - under these circumstances I find myself rather ironically being very judgemental towards judgemental people.
 
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Well maybe the ones you call dark are the ones who had to do a lot of things against their nature in order to survive in society, while receiving little support or understanding from others. Still, I think extreme cynicism is usually transitional, and after a while a person develops a more accepting and philosophical, and less angry, view of their situation. I know I'm not nearly as cynical as I was years ago.

I imagine that INFPs who are steadily positive in their lives have a lot of support from family and friends, and feel accepted for who they are. That's just my guess. I think it makes a big difference how accepted and supported one is by people who are important in one's life.
You imagine and guess, but the hidden premisse is that you hold the environment responsible.
 

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I agree with you niki on the existence of a dark and positive side of INFPs, to elaborate on your original post, I think that the darker INFPs do tend to view reality as it is through force, but I also think a contributing factor is when they are forced to see the world as it is. I myself have spurts of both at any given time making it very difficult to manage.

My mother who happens to be an ENTJ also believes in the importance of financial security, working for a corporation, and the importance of practicality. This being said in middle school she was already trying to steer me to work towards specific majors for college. Now seeing how she and I don't get along (unless she wants something) I naturally rebeled, but this forced me to look around at what people were like outside, all those people I thought were normal at school, or the smart kids they all had similar goals, be rich, famous, have "fun", but my definition of fun was so skewed from what normal kids my age enjoy, and the desires for riches I do share with them, but it's simply so I have the money to move away into the wild to live without the worries of how society wants me to work.

I think that if an INFP is eased into "reality" the blandness and hate for the world that most dark INFPs have will be a lesser degree. However, for those who are forced to accept it early have the short end of the stick due to the inability to escape the new "dark" thoughts that will follow them.
 

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How about this:

I wrap the darkness around myself, in all it's glorious grotesque intensity, but also cherish my inner positivity and kind nature. (note that this doesn't mean I dress like a goth). I just like to express it in different ways, the inner darkness leads to many intense creative outbursts. For me at least.

Imo there is also a certain pleasant romantic feeling attached to melancholy :happy:
 

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I agree with you niki on the existence of a dark and positive side of INFPs, to elaborate on your original post, I think that the darker INFPs do tend to view reality as it is through force, but I also think a contributing factor is when they are forced to see the world as it is. I myself have spurts of both at any given time making it very difficult to manage.

My mother who happens to be an ENTJ also believes in the importance of financial security, working for a corporation, and the importance of practicality. This being said in middle school she was already trying to steer me to work towards specific majors for college. Now seeing how she and I don't get along (unless she wants something) I naturally rebeled, but this forced me to look around at what people were like outside, all those people I thought were normal at school, or the smart kids they all had similar goals, be rich, famous, have "fun", but my definition of fun was so skewed from what normal kids my age enjoy, and the desires for riches I do share with them, but it's simply so I have the money to move away into the wild to live without the worries of how society wants me to work.

I think that if an INFP is eased into "reality" the blandness and hate for the world that most dark INFPs have will be a lesser degree. However, for those who are forced to accept it early have the short end of the stick due to the inability to escape the new "dark" thoughts that will follow them.
Thanks. I can tell you victimhood is like a silver armour you can lock yourself in, safe and sound. You will always be excused because people often feel guilty for not having a troublesome childhood or teenage or feel ashamed for the fuzz they made, (and avoid) criticising you (in the end there was no one to pity but you), while you can nevertheless still demand the perfect from the world around you. But it is also a cage, because you (not to mention others) truly believe it is beyond your control. And as long as you believe the environment is responsible and hostile, it will be very difficult to grow self-confidence and self-efficacy, and to learn to take control over your destiny.
 

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I've seen this, where it seems like there are two types, although I'd venture to guess there are also ones who are in between.

Personally I think I can sometimes appear to be one of the dark ones since I have a lot of black clothes, am nocturnal, and like the aesthetics of some things that also have association with 'dark' things. But in actuality I'm one of those cuddly bubbly child-like INFPs.
 

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I could say I switch between these two types, with the basis of being positive. Negativity is usually temporary, and I become "dark" when I notice that I need to work against my nature to get things done or having few black-and-white "realizations." External stimuli affects strongly my internal world - for example, if many things fail during the day and get critizied, I see myself loathing myself and hating the world and it's imperfect stance. Shadow function, perhaps - under these circumstances I find myself rather ironically being very judgemental towards judgemental people.
Could be inferior Te - which from what I read, is not really something you 'switch' to, but more how you react to certain external stimuli.

Now that I think of it, dark INFP's may be like Fallen Jedi commenting on how incompetent/imperfect everybody is for not using the dark side of the Force. :3
 

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I have to say I'm a positively dark INFP, and I have been since 17-18. Actually the positive is a more recent thing.
 
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