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i can't even put into words yet how different it is. wow. but i will get to that some other time.

point of the thread: do you think it was a subconscious response to the fact that i may have wanted change, or was it just a coincidence?

between these relationships, while i was still caught up on my ESFP ex, i actually had a fling with another ESFP. strange, as those were the only ESFPs i'd ever met. possibly in response to my subconscious draw towards the ESFP traits that i missed in my ex?

once this fling was over, i decided that the initial ESFP i'd dated was definitely not for me, and shortly afterwards i started dating the INTJ i'd been eyeing.

i'd say this was a response to my want for some stability, originality, and intellectual stimulation that i'd lacked in my last relationships.
it would be fairly obvious, but i had interest in the INTJ since before the ESFP relationship had gotten serious, and also, INTJ initiated the relationship. thoughts?

*note: i was unaware of these types at the time.
**also, i am an INTP if that helps at all.
 

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do you think it was a subconscious response to the fact that i may have wanted change, or was it just a coincidence?
Yes and yes.

If you were frustrated with your last relationship, it's normal that you would like to try new experiences that fill the voids in your heart and brain, or in your words: "stability, originality, and intellectual stimulation that i'd lacked in my last relationships.".

On the other hand, life is unpredictable and every person is unique. Have you never met him, you might have fallen for another person with similar traits, even with a different personality, or not fallen for another INTJ whom you might have known. You can't logically explain every aspect of your relationship (I'm not implying you want to).

Also, both of you are introverted and thinkers (not Ti, but INTx), and one has to take the first step no matter how hard it is. I definitely don't like to do this, but when I realize the other person is more introverted than me, it forces me to act. That might have been the case with him. And Te is more active than Ti, so that might have helped.
 
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