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Maybe I'm not that woke so had to bring my question here.

Would you date a girl that regularly hangs out topless in front of people? Like when on trips/vacation type situations.
What about a girl that, when she gets drunk and is partying, will sometimes show her boobs? Like flash people.

None of my friends girlfriends/fiances/wives would ever do something like that but maybe I'm not open minded enough.

What are your thoughts/experiences?

I get that it's ultimately up to me and my feelings on this but I'm curious what other peoples thoughts are or if they have any similar experiences and they could share what they've learned from knowing that person or being involved with that person
 

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There's a difference imo in being comfortable with (or appreciating) nudity and "flashing" people.

I wouldn't be comfortable with someone who flashed people.

I am comfortable with nudity and most of the peers I've had have been nude at one time or another, to skinny dip, during a silly drunk time, or other environments where it's okay with the people around. It's never been a problem.

I've never dated women though.

I haven't been friends (or a relationship) with a flasher or someone who exposes themselves to people in an aggressive and non-consensual manner, and I wouldn't be comfortable with that.
 

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I would be fine with her hanging out topless but there is something about flashing people at parties that brings out muh conservative side. Different motivations here: one could be just a comfort thing/some hippie au naturel thing going on... girls like that can be very cool generally speaking. The other is about gaining attention/shock in a way which is very uninteresting to me, you cannot entertain in any other way? Boo. (Also it is usually done for the viewing pleasure of men, in which case, why we dating?)
 

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No sorry. I'm not Canadian/French enough to be okay with women being casually topless. Mostly because I wouldn't want my kids to think that's normal when in the US, it's definitely not. Also I think a woman who would flash a crowd of people would be way too wild for someone like me. lol
 

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Maybe I'm not that woke so had to bring my question here.

Would you date a girl that regularly hangs out topless in front of people? Like when on trips/vacation type situations.
What about a girl that, when she gets drunk and is partying, will sometimes show her boobs? Like flash people.

None of my friends girlfriends/fiances/wives would ever do something like that but maybe I'm not open minded enough.

What are your thoughts/experiences?

I get that it's ultimately up to me and my feelings on this but I'm curious what other peoples thoughts are or if they have any similar experiences and they could share what they've learned from knowing that person or being involved with that person
That's her thing. If she feels okay with that, why should I have a problem with it?
 

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Guys run around topless all the time whether to be provocative or they're too warm. So if you go barechested then it should be fine for her to do the same, right?

On the other hand, some jurisdictions have a law against indecent exposure where flashing someone is considered a felony and she'll be registered as a sex offender.
 

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In theory I'm more bothered by the idea that she'd let herself get drunk to where it would influence her to expose herself. It makes me feel like I can't trust her.
 

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Maybe I'm not that woke so had to bring my question here.

Would you date a girl that regularly hangs out topless in front of people? Like when on trips/vacation type situations.
What about a girl that, when she gets drunk and is partying, will sometimes show her boobs? Like flash people.

None of my friends girlfriends/fiances/wives would ever do something like that but maybe I'm not open minded enough.

What are your thoughts/experiences?

I get that it's ultimately up to me and my feelings on this but I'm curious what other peoples thoughts are or if they have any similar experiences and they could share what they've learned from knowing that person or being involved with that person
I walk around topless from time to time (Feels so much better when the breeze is hitting you without a shirt on) coz I don't really care if people saw me topless but it don't mean I'm sexually interested in people when I'm topless if that makes sense. I'm also a guy not a girl.
 

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Hrmmm. I misread a part of that and thought you had multiple wives/girlfriends/fiancées.

That was really interesting to ask about and now I'm disappointed.
Back on topic, if someone was being an exhibitionist I'd be curious about the motivations behind it. Not to condone or condemn, just to understand.

After all, wearing clothes is pretty strange when you break it down, it's just one of those (almost) invisible conventions.
 

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No sorry. I'm not Canadian/French enough to be okay with women being casually topless. Mostly because I wouldn't want my kids to think that's normal when in the US, it's definitely not. Also I think a woman who would flash a crowd of people would be way too wild for someone like me. lol
A true american.

I wouldn't. Seeing her naked, even partially should be something exclusively reserved for me, not for everybody. Relationships are about exclusivity.
 
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To me it's the same as a guy getting his dick out to be a cool crazy funny guy. At least as far as flashing-for-fun goes. Crass and unnecessary.

I wouldn't be interested in a general nudist either, simply because it's not something I would feel comfortable doing, so I don't think I'd be able to feel comfortable about my partner doing it either. It kinda depletes the sense of intimacy.

I know there's the argument that "guys get their chest out all the time", which is a fair point, but most of the world has sexualised breasts to the extent that I would feel like my partner was cutting our intimacy at the knees if she put hers out on display all the time. I know that's a somewhat socially conservative viewpoint to take, but in my eyes the simple fact is that most people don't do it.

But hey if someone else is happy with that kind of thing in their relationship, all power to them.
 

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I've been around nudists before who didn't drink alcohol. I used to work for a couple who grew wheat grass for wheat grass juice and the woman would go outside and do nude yoga every day. They also had a portrait of a mutual friend of theirs that I passed by in the threshold of their back door, but it was distinct in that it cut off below the chest and she was completely bare chested in the photo.

I never really got used to it. lol But I assume over time you might. It was weird because I felt like I should feel bad or at least respectful about this person (when they somberly explained it was their dear friend who'd passed away) rather than look at her boobs, but it's hard not to look when it's not common...and I always noticed them when walking by the pic.

But I think they mostly drank wheat-grass juice.

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I've gone topless a few times and I also tend to be pretty modest most of the time but I've got my own thoughts that I don't expect everyone to understand. When I was younger I embraced nudism, though I don't really care anymore, except regarding figure painting and revenge porn. Too many other problems in the world.

I highly respect figure models and life drawing models who allow artists to sketch their forms without clothing, and I don't tend to see nudity as always shameful or sexual. And I think our society's stigma against nudity gives power to industries like revenge porn, which I detest.

I didn't "love to be topless" but I still had strong beliefs about nudity and the stigma around it. Some women are also opinionated and have strong beliefs just like some men do--there are many reasons a person might choose not to adopt the sensibilities and tradition of those around them other than "loving" the opposite or wanting to "flash" people.

I would rather date a nudist than someone who justified revenge porn or thought that nudity should be a pass to be cruel to someone. So there's that. But I don't desire to incorporate nudism into my life at this time and it wouldn't be something I'd seek out, and if it was really not working with my lifestyle then I'd prefer not to, though I already tend to prefer not to date anyway so that's not saying much.
 

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There's a difference imo in being comfortable with (or appreciating) nudity and "flashing" people.

I wouldn't be comfortable with someone who flashed people.

I am comfortable with nudity and most of the peers I've had have been nude at one time or another, to skinny dip, during a silly drunk time, or other environments where it's okay with the people around. It's never been a problem.

I've never dated women though.

I haven't been friends (or a relationship) with a flasher or someone who exposes themselves to people in an aggressive and non-consensual manner, and I wouldn't be comfortable with that.
Spot on. There's a difference in a lot of behaviors that have nudity included, and it comes down to values and how compatible they are.

Some women might just not feel comfortable in clothes, therefore they value their comfort.
Some women might want to get a rise out of doing 'daring' behavior, therefore they value the experience of 'flashing' a stranger.
Some women might want people to feel attractive to them, they value the power of knowing they could 'have' you if they wanted.

And conversely, the other partner (gender doesn't matter imo) might value someone who doesn't let those desires 'damage' things they find more valuable. This could be anything from valuing being the only person who knows what their partner's breasts look like. (Exclusivity) Or valuing that their partner respects themselves enough to not want to share private information. (Security)

However like many things, sometimes a compromise can be made. Maybe once the partner knows why they want to be nude, they can compromise in what situations that's okay. Even if that starts out as. "Okay, you can be nude as much as you want when it's just us, and we'll see from there."

Communication!
 

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Spot on. There's a difference in a lot of behaviors that have nudity included, and it comes down to values and how compatible they are.

Some women might just not feel comfortable in clothes, therefore they value their comfort.
Some women might want to get a rise out of doing 'daring' behavior, therefore they value the experience of 'flashing' a stranger.
Some women might want people to feel attractive to them, they value the power of knowing they could 'have' you if they wanted.

And conversely, the other partner (gender doesn't matter imo) might value someone who doesn't let those desires 'damage' things they find more valuable. This could be anything from valuing being the only person who knows what their partner's breasts look like. (Exclusivity) Or valuing that their partner respects themselves enough to not want to share private information. (Security)

However like many things, sometimes a compromise can be made. Maybe once the partner knows why they want to be nude, they can compromise in what situations that's okay. Even if that starts out as. "Okay, you can be nude as much as you want when it's just us, and we'll see from there."

Communication!
I agree.

Communication and also being open minded to understanding that others might see things differently, and actually listening to them.

Sometimes people assign their thoughts to others. Like if they would only be nude for sexual reasons they assume that the figure drawing model is being sexual, or that the artists who draw her/him are perverts who are engaging in what is akin to some kind of orgy...just by drawing the form.

My ex (ESFJ) would actually make those kinds of assumptions and forbade me from figure drawing (which I did after leaving him and would prefer to do figure drawing to being in a relationship with someone who's going to make those kind of ridiculous assumptions about my values based on an appreciation of the human form and the issues surrounding the concept of nudity).

So sometimes it just doesn't work too, and that is okay. Some people aren't meant to be together because they can't understand the other or the lifestyles would be too different.

But I think it's worthwhile to at least try to understand the perspective of others, as you might find common ground. Like I can relate to the concerns about security.

I fully support figure models and am grateful that they will brave exposing their natural body in an age when we like to think of it as sexual and many like to put others down or even be cruel to them for exposing their human form (even justify online intimidation because "well, you shouldn't have showed your skin then," but I can also understand concern for them as there are so many ignorant people in the world and people who seek to harm others for doing nothing hurtful or harmful to them (and disagree on what is harmful--like many anti-nudity people will say it's harmful to society).)

I guess that's not so much an issue of values as it is a disagreement on what should be done (if you both value the security of a person but also their opinions, beliefs, and agency).
 

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Would you date a girl that regularly hangs out topless in front of people? Like when on trips/vacation type situations.
No. She can be a nudist in a public place when we're the only two around if she wants to, but if there are other people around, I'd expect her, and want her, to cover up. If she feels like that's a problem, then we are not compatible, and that is fine. For me it's a matter of respect, exclusivity, and security.

Regarding the fact that men can be topless and women can't : both female breasts and male upper body (more or less) muscular build are secondary sexual attributes. That's a fact. However. When men see something they like, generally, they make an approach. When women see something they like, generally, they don't make an approach. I don't want to hear about "no that's not true, I do it all the time". You do it, good for you, that does not mean the female population does it the majority of the time ; you're an exception, and as such, don't matter for the establishment of ground understanding.
If I am topless in public, I will not get approach by women. If a woman does that, she will get approached by men who shoot their shot. That's why men can and women can't. Women don't act on what they want while men do, and it's not the "evil men preventing them to", no. We could say it's cultural influence, and that society treats it in such and such ways, but that would be ignoring the biological traits that pushes men to initiate and women to rather act in a "come hither" way, aka not doing anything but "sending hints" until a man approaches (which, spoiler alert, being topless in public will be interpreted 99.9X% of the time as a "hint").

What about a girl that, when she gets drunk and is partying, will sometimes show her boobs? Like flash people.
No. This is an instant red flag. As a rule, if getting drunk makes a girl (or someone, more broadly) do something she wouldn't normally do when sober, then I don't want to deal with her in a romantic sense, she cannot be taken seriously, because those drunk behaviors open doors for things to happen (when the behaviors aren't directly the things that happen). Be it flashing people, kissing people, being touchy-feely, whatever it is. If she wouldn't do it sober, but does it drunk, she's not a good/safe prospect for a relationship. She's for recreational use only.

Moreover, if she blames her behavior on being drunk, then that means when she will be in a relationship, there's absolutely no guarantee that when drunk she won't do something stupid, and then blame it on being drunk. The older I get, the more I'd rather go for women who don't drink alcohol at all, or not much at all, never to the point where she's drunk. Less problems, less drama.
 

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Like some of the above. I have no issues with nudity, but the flashing at parties makes me doubt.
I would talk to her about it.
 

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