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dating advice for a silly girl :)

514 Views 15 Replies 13 Participants Last post by  Ziggurat

I feel a little weird talking about this, because i feel i'm a little too old (23) to be asking this kind of questions, but this subject is really important to me right now. So, my question is: should i friend request this guys to whom i have talked in real life a couple of time?

I know him from university, we're in the same year, we're in separate groups, and a group has aprox. 80 students, so we didn't "cross each other's path" until our teachers decided to randomly create groups of two students, and he and i got to work on the same thing. The project didn't take long, and after that, each of us went back to their business. But... a little after that, like a week, he texted me on my phone to ask something totally neutral, like how did the teachers appreciate my colleagues' work and other stuff like that. I replied, but didn't reciprocate the question, simply because it didn't cross my mind. :blushed: Oh, and while working on the project, he told me that i seem too formal, because of my use of language (could be...)

And a few weeks later, after i had an exam, he asked me about how difficult it was (he was going to have the same exam), how did i do etc. and wished me happy holidays, because it was the last exam. And silly me, i chose not to respond to the kind wishes, for fear of not seeming too available :rolleyes:.

But i realized this boy is cute and i like him, and now i'm thinking of adding him on facebook.

I know it looks like i'm overthinking it, but i really don't know what to do, especially because the in last two relationships i was the one making the first move and being too available, and they didn't work out, so now my principle is "less is more". Until meeting him, i wasn't even seeking to be in a relationship. But on the other hand, if this was a chance of getting closer to him, should i do it? Should i add him on facebook, despite being impolite and not replying to his last message? :laughing: School is over now, so i can't meet him anymore...
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I think you're over-thinking it. Don't go into it with the intention of "getting into a relationship," try "getting to know you to see if you're relationship material and interested in me."

The latter is a bit more easy-going which is really important for a couple of major reasons: to help you save face if he's not interested and to help salvage a friendship in the event you want one since a relationship is now out of the question.

I don't think there's anything "wrong" in showing interest... but the way you go about should kinda be "easy and breezy." Kinda like easy come, easy go.

That way you can enjoy the experience enough that whatever the outcome, it would have been an experience worth having.

Hope that helps! Sorry it's full of "useless" clichés but the thing is, when it comes to dating you can't really control things (situations, people or outcomes) because another person is involved, so you might as well focus on enjoying yourself rather than the end goal.
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To add to @JungleDelRey, none of that means (I assume she agrees) you should pretend and just make him think that you are easy breezy. You should actually be that way and feel that way. Otherwise it's self-torture.

Basically, I was trying to say to OP, just try to enjoy this entire experience without focusing too much on getting a relationship out of it.
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