Personality Cafe banner
1 - 9 of 9 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
302 Posts
I was in one for a year and a half. We broke up a few months ago now. It was... interesting to say the least. In the end, I was too sensitive for him and he was too abrasive for me. In the beginning, things were amazing, but then things went downhill when we came to realise that while we lots in common, there were also things we disagreed with firmly. Maybe too firmly. It was tough in the end. But I still find that I miss the good times. He was fun to be around before things went stale. Every day was an adventure. It's a shame that spark didn't last much longer.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
7,063 Posts
I have a really boring answer :(

I think any type can date/marry/befriend/start a business with any other type. It's about understanding each other. I know that it's probably easier as a feeler to date a feeler, but even saying that feels (see what I did there) like giving Thinker types a short-shrift.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
283 Posts
Discussion Starter · #4 · (Edited)
@bigstupidgrin oh, i'm not giving thinking types short shift! i've noticed that most INFPs in longterm relationships are with XXTJs, actually. Almost all INFPs in longterm relationships are either with XXTJ, ENFP or ENFJ--- aka types with shared thinking/feeling functions or completely mirrored and in the same order like ENFJ

So plenty of INFPs are with thinkers... I still have never heard of an INFP-ESTP relationship, which is very telling considering we have zero functions in common!

So of course any type can work with any type in practice, given certain conditions, but you hear of strong trends for a reason. And that reason is generally found within the function stacks.
 

·
Banned
Joined
·
678 Posts
I went out with a girl who I suspect was ESTP for about 6 months and it was a lot of fun. We ended up coming to the conclusion that it wasn't going to work, but we're still friends. I could see myself with an ESTP again.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,760 Posts
While I do endorse the idea that any two types can work when they understand each other, I still personally don't jive with ESTPs in a romantic sense, and the feeling is mutual, I suspect. And I say that because I understand that Se-Ti is like nails on a chalkboard to me. And in fairness to ESTPs, I'm sure my ways are just as grating.

I just can't spend my days watching sports, going to the gym, telling fart jokes, talking about cars, etc. These things are not inherently bad in themselves, they just don't interest me. At all. And again in the name of fairness, they probably feel the same about poetry and deep feely discussions. In sum, we bore each other.

 

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,481 Posts
I clash so badly with ESTP men. I initially find them impressive and personable, after a couple more meetings I find them weak and juvenile. For some reason it becomes a game of trying to "break" one another down. I send invalidating vibes to them, they send "I must be top in this interaction" vibes to me. We are extremely annoying to one another and a feedback of loop of hatred eventually spirals into a hurricane.

I have incredible, long-lasting chemistry with ISTPs IRL but our values are too different for long-term.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Thread Killer

·
Registered
Joined
·
136 Posts
I've never dated an ESTP, but I am good friends with one and from my experience with her I know being with an ESTP that way would certainly be fun for a while, but would probably wear me out. They're really fun people to be around, but I find it hard to be around them for too long, because they always want to talk and do stuff all the time.
I think any type can date/marry/befriend/start a business with any other type. It's about understanding each other. I know that it's probably easier as a feeler to date a feeler, but even saying that feels (see what I did there) like giving Thinker types a short-shrift.
I agree with this to an extent- I think it's important perhaps to date a higher Fe or Te user, as those are functions seldom used by INFPs and it would be good for them to develop them.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
270 Posts
I haven't wanted to date an ESTP myself, but my INFP friend has been in a very settled relationship with an ESTP for over five years now. The key to their relationship though was that they started with a very large foundation of common friends and interests. Both are artists of sorts (he's a custom furniture designer and maker, in case you're wondering what kind of art this ESTP is doing), and they've run in the same circle of artists for more than a decade. In this way, they have an appreciation and understanding for what the other does, and it's easier for them to be social and active together.
 
1 - 9 of 9 Posts
Top