The difference may be that I was a beggar and you were a chooser . I excluded a few major demographic groups in my matching parameters, and weeded out the ones that seemed to have 'fake' or shallow profiles. Between that and being male, I didn't get a whole lot of matches. Even though I occasionally did communicate with multiple women at times, I didn't go on actual dates with multiple women at the same time.I’m still not sure how the quality vs quantity thing works when it comes to trying to find the love of your life online. It’s like job interviews, you can’t cherry pick your applicants. They just apply and you pray you’re smart enough to pick out the good ones to actually meet. If it goes well you go out again. It would have unduly complicated things to take time to write to someone who said they couldn’t come to the interview. If I wanted to slow it down then that’s a method, but I was interviewing and wanted to hire a husband.
When everything seemed to be going well with one person then I put a hold on my account.
I would have made an exception for an amazing writer I suppose, if something about the person drew me in to exclude the others, but you find out a lot in person as an ENFP— Voice tone and chemistry and energy— and in general I was interviewing, not holding out and writing to someone. In a job interview that might happen if there weren’t other qualified applicants who lived right there, but there were. I really just wanted to find my guy and job interviews is very close to what the experience of online dating was like for me. I just used these rules to weed. I must say again, I was a virgin on my wedding night at age 27 so I was careful about emotional complications and damage control, I think.
I hate dating with a passion, partly because it is like an interview and partly because of all the fakery involved. I find interviewing extraordinarily stressful (so much so that I sometimes get trapped in dead end jobs), and dating is no exception. I've gotten to a point that when it does happen, I try to be as authentic as I can without seeming too much like the complete and hopeless nerd that I am, or revealing anything inappropriate for a first date.