Personality Cafe banner

1 - 20 of 21 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
206 Posts
Discussion Starter #1
I'm not sure why, but I feel dead inside (not depressed). I just don't care about stuff anymore, Christmas, Birthdays, vacations, other trips for example. Most of what would make me happy when I was younger doesn't work. I have very few things that make me happy any more, mainly personal achievement. I wouldn't really care about this, as I don't really care about much, but it seems to upset people, mainly family. Do people really take offense to me not saying happy birthday; I don't feel a thing when people don't say it to me, and I would rather people not tell me anyway. My family thinks I hate them, I don't know what to do. I can't make myself feel how they want me too, or sometimes how I want. I get that I should feel concern, but I just can't. If I am fully aware of the situation than the concern and interest just dies. Until something changes I don't have that instinct to 'keep up.'

Advice anyone?
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
885 Posts
Totally relate to it. Look at it in this way:
You dont feel anymore, your being is tired of being a feeler. There is something in you asking for a change.
Sit down and think, what do i really want? Why am i feeling like this?
Me, i realized i needed a change, that i need growth and evolution. Im starting to develop my mind and watching life and the world with a different pair of glasses. I dont care about things i used to care about, i dont care about people who i used to feel really strong. In general im starting to push away my feelings and let in a new way of existence. For me its a natural and positive thing, i consider its a sign of maturity and of personal growth. Hope this helps.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,786 Posts
I'm not sure why, but I feel dead inside (not depressed). I just don't care about stuff anymore, Christmas, Birthdays, vacations, other trips for example. Most of what would make me happy when I was younger doesn't work. I have very few things that make me happy any more, mainly personal achievement. I wouldn't really care about this, as I don't really care about much, but it seems to upset people, mainly family. Do people really take offense to me not saying happy birthday; I don't feel a thing when people don't say it to me, and I would rather people not tell me anyway. My family thinks I hate them, I don't know what to do. I can't make myself feel how they want me too, or sometimes how I want. I get that I should feel concern, but I just can't. If I am fully aware of the situation than the concern and interest just dies. Until something changes I don't have that instinct to 'keep up.'

Advice anyone?
If you were to name one thing that you would consider the most important thing missing from your life right now what would it be?

What's your estimate on the probability of getting whatever you think is missing using the skills and resources you currently have in your life?
 
  • Like
Reactions: lifeisanillusion

·
Registered
Joined
·
156 Posts
@idntknw

Most go through this sooner or later. It's nothing more than a phase. Like Sai said it could possibly be an evolution of your mind as it moves into a new level. It maybe a sign that you are growing up. So there is no need to worry or feel negatively about this. Have you been spending a lot of time in one place(your room)? If so, take yourself out. Your mind might be wanting to do or be somewhere else. We INFPs are positively effected by nature. So try going to the woods. Hug a tree for are few minutes, feel the earth, than feel your face. Do whatever it takes to spend more time outside the environment you are spending your time now.

Don't worry about anything else only that you are perfect and you are here at the perfect time. Then, forget about yourself and focus on what you can do for someone else? What do you do well? What do you think you should do?
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
27 Posts
It sounds like your family is just worried about you. I know you say that your not depressed, but what you describe certainly matches the symptoms. It seems like you're isolating yourself from others, and that can be a scary thing for family and friends. Are your relationships with other influencing your feelings?
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,035 Posts
Are you by any chance between 15 and 25 or age?
 
  • Like
Reactions: idntknw

·
Registered
Joined
·
675 Posts
I have the same symptom, is this the joy to be an adult ?
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
937 Posts
Are you in a relationship? I went through a little 'dead inside' phase when I was younger, but those problems disappeared instantly when I starting having girlfriends.

Admittedly, it also leads onto a completely different set of problems but hey, that's life :D
 

·
Banned
Joined
·
3,960 Posts
Are you in a relationship? I went through a little 'dead inside' phase when I was younger, but those problems disappeared instantly when I starting having girlfriends.

Admittedly, it also leads onto a completely different set of problems but hey, that's life :D
I am 35, and I have suffered, a lot. People used to say that I was sweet, and caring, and so forth. Then I learnt how people are, and how others are pushy, or I "felt" that they wanted something that I don't. I started to look inwards... But actually, this is all wrong. This is NOT growing up. I needed to grow, but the way I grew was wrong. I should worry about my family and friends, and I SHOULD reassure them that I shall be okay. I SHOULD cruise, and find a job, and also still maintain a looser relationship with family. My friends used to give me a nickname, which was "Little Lamb Hitting Everywhere". (Basically, they are saying that I was chasing the wrong things in the wrong places, and I needed loving, but I chose to keep on running, meeting people and leaving them.) At first, I found it cute and funny, without realising what it meant. But in actual fact, looking back now, they know me so much more than I knew myself. I also realised now that they were cute and kind towards me, without myself realising too. Why? Because I chose to detach from them and this is why I felt empty. I looked so inward that I blocked out from those whom I love. By Freudian term, I went into my shadow, and become this monster of a being, even though, not everybody has to take this path, and some people are so totally like this, but in hindsight, I wish I did not take this path at all....

I encourage you to just take up the next step in life, which is to find a partner, and also to just be yourself a little bit, but still keep in touch with family and friends. They are only worried about you because you are unhappy. So, to make them happy and worry less, you got to make yourself more happy. By making yourself more happy, you got to start exploring more of yourself, expose to different things, but without absorbing things which are not you. Whilst exploring yourself, you can so indeed take this journey and let it be a mutual one together with family. Instead of going on walks on your own, take your mom, or siblings. Do things together. Enjoy the relationship that you have with others, as well as trying to find yourself, and also let them know that "I am now starting to find myself"....

Relationships with family and friends SO does not have to be "either /Or".... which I have found, quite late. I wish I appreciated the small things in life, instead of chasing the big things, and I lost myself chasing the big things whilst the small things went to pots. Big things in life are: Family, siblings, friends, loved ones, before jobs, money, house.....
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,255 Posts
Very interesting what's happening here. Kinda makes me wonder. I feel the same why but I'm supposed to be an INFJ. Maybe I'm actually an INFP and I don't know it.. or I dunno... I'm not making much sense... Maybe it's smth in the air that affects our mood. Don't mind me...maybe I'm just tired.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
206 Posts
Discussion Starter #13
Thanks for your replies.
I do happen to between ages 15-25, and I have isolated myself a bit too much. I have been told that I seem uncaring, not so much unhappy; I guess that does mean relationships influence my feelings if it bugged me enough to post this. Maybe I do need to take another step in life; when life doesn't change after several years, it must get stale. For this stage in life, I must have exhausted something.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,035 Posts
It's brighter once you're past it. :3
 

·
Banned
Joined
·
3,960 Posts
Thanks for your replies.
I do happen to between ages 15-25, and I have isolated myself a bit too much. I have been told that I seem uncaring, not so much unhappy; I guess that does mean relationships influence my feelings if it bugged me enough to post this. Maybe I do need to take another step in life; when life doesn't change after several years, it must get stale. For this stage in life, I must have exhausted something.
Time to learn to flirt m'Dear... and learn to know what kind of girls you do and do not like... :)
That should be your next little project.

I remember growing and remember how to read people so that I know who likes me and who doesn't etc. I used to bicker all the time with my gf to see who likes me and who doesn't etc. Then I kind of gave up and focused too much on work. But now, I realised it is pretty easy to actually know who does like you and not.. but you got to want what they want too.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
214 Posts
I'm not sure why, but I feel dead inside (not depressed). I just don't care about stuff anymore, Christmas, Birthdays, vacations, other trips for example. Most of what would make me happy when I was younger doesn't work. I have very few things that make me happy any more, mainly personal achievement. I wouldn't really care about this, as I don't really care about much, but it seems to upset people, mainly family. Do people really take offense to me not saying happy birthday; I don't feel a thing when people don't say it to me, and I would rather people not tell me anyway. My family thinks I hate them, I don't know what to do. I can't make myself feel how they want me too, or sometimes how I want. I get that I should feel concern, but I just can't. If I am fully aware of the situation than the concern and interest just dies. Until something changes I don't have that instinct to 'keep up.'

Advice anyone?
You really can't be counting on stuff or other people to make you happy. It may work for a while, but everything changes, and your attachment will cause you to suffer like you do now.

Have you ever heard the quote:
"There is no way to happiness, happiness is the way"

I know it seems silly at first, but happiness can be a choice. We all have the ability to change our perception. It takes time, and it's easy to jump to conclusions or to just react, but over time, you can try to see things in a different light. You can always find something to be happy about, if you allow yourself to, and the more often you can make yourself see things from another perspective, the easier it will be for you.

You also may benefit from learning that you create your own reality, and what you put out there is what you will get back. If you don't care for others enough to wish them a happy birthday, you probably won't be seeing much happiness.

My advice, start reading about subjects you enjoy and avoid things that bring you down. You may want to look into books about happiness, loving kindness and mindfulness, they can your world.

Oh, and force yourself to smile, at least once a day. You may find your body reacting, releasing endorphins and you may feel happier just from that


Move out of North America. The whole continent is garbage running on satanic values now which kills INFPs.
This is a somewhat extreme view, but I agree that the media and our government are more interested in corporations than the people is causing much discontent. Television programming and advertisements are designed to influence and control the masses, but I assure you, one can rise above that and free them self from that mental bondage.
 
  • Like
Reactions: refugee

·
Registered
Joined
·
83 Posts
I really relate to this thread as well. I am in the 15-25 age range. I often feel quite lost, confused, dead inside - it's so awful, that I simply can't find anything that could possibly motivate me. No motivation to live or move forward. I've had whole days where I've been feeling so terrible that I couldn't go to school, I couldn't go to the grocery store, I couldn't interact with other people... because I simply felt absolutely dead inside, as if my life was meaningless. I've also had days where I can't stop crying and almost nothing can make me happy again; I usually sleep it off and I'm my happy self again in a while. Until it happens again!
 

·
MOTM Dec 2012
Joined
·
12,239 Posts
I feel the most dead when I violate my values and principles. I feel like I just killed my best friend. Like I'm some kind of Judas. The feeling doesn't go away completely, even though the ravages of time tend to make me forget intermittently. Honestly, I have no solution to relieving this deadness, other than penance.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
150 Posts
Do you ever suffer from anxiety before social situations and think what others think of you? Do you worry about anything or is this empty feeling associated with everything?
 
1 - 20 of 21 Posts
Top