So I recently went on a first date with a guy I thought I'd really like. We had fun, but there were a few things that made me very sure I don't want to date him. My deal breakers were that he smoked pot (which isn't really a big deal but I get the sense that he does it a LOT), and that he's not particularly smart. Also, I don't think I'm really the kind of person to give people chances, since I generally trust my judgement.
Is it normal for me to be setting expectations like this on a first date? Am I going to end up alone?
In fact if they like it, they can date it. Offer to point your pot-smoking female friend this guy's way.
(I'm a little surprised that you're friends with the pot-smoking girl. It doesn't seem as if you would normally consider that type of person to be much in the way of a friend...judgemental shit that I am.)
That's actually a good idea! She keeps trying to get me to give him a chance, when she would probably get along with him better than I would. Besides, just because I can have a conversation with a person doesn't mean that we would be compatible.
Actually I've been friends with this girl for several years, and I think she only started doing it recently. She seems to be recreational and very occasional with her usage, but she also keeps telling me things like "god I wish I could smoke right now" even when it's inappropriate. I've let her know it's not something I agree with.