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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Most of my friends (unfortunately) have for some reason or another turned out to be extroverts. I'm insanely jealous of that. I watch them successfully carry out completely irrational and illogical things with ease. With just a smile or a tear they seem to get whatever they want. People love them. That isn't even what irritates me the most. Whenever I see them hanging out with other people and going to parties without so much as an honorable mention on the guest list it really upsets me. Even though I hate meeting new people and I'm not fond of parties either. Have any of you had similar feelings and how did you deal with them?
 

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You are the observer. Observe them and find something that they cannot do well. Something where you are better. If you can't find something simply assume that you are twice as intelligent. Works for me. ;)
Haha that's what I do, but intelligence means nothing if social blow jobs are what gets you to wherever it is that you want to be.
 

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Most of my friends (unfortunately) have for some reason or another turned out to be extroverts. I'm insanely jealous of that. I watch them successfully carry out completely irrational and illogical things with ease. With just a smile or a tear they seem to get whatever they want. People love them. That isn't even what irritates me the most. Whenever I see them hanging out with other people and going to parties without so much as an honorable mention on the guest list it really upsets me. Even though I hate meeting new people and I'm not fond of parties either. Have any of you had similar feelings and how did you deal with them?
Yes, yes and yes.

I've managed to overcome it, however, by noticing these same "limelight soakers" in different situations. They aren't always smooth. In fact, often times, people find the loud, gregarious superficiality of these 'entertainers' of sorts, after a few times, to merely be annoying and draining. Where is the fun in a party when someone always has to steal the moment?

Perhaps you should learn to be optimistic in these situations. I have no idea what you are like, but for me (I can't figure out if I'm a 5 w/6wing, or vice versa- it flips) I can get very negative, and it can be draining.

Maybe I should rephrase- respect and cherish your own qualities and those in others. Especially cherish the silent sincerity you provide.

You are an observer, so it would not be hard to see the beautiful traits in others and yourself. And, like a glint of sunshine, these quirks and the tolerance you can project will be retrieved by those around you who see the beauty of you.

Also, a lot of those people who do and will truly appreciate you are extroverts; not all of them are attention seekers, but rather, company-seekers, which is also totally fine! And you don't need to like parties or making many new friends, but always keep your options open. You never know what kind of wonderful influence could step into your life.


Lastly, remember what Sitting Bull said: "It is unnecessary for eagles to be crows."
 

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Haha that's what I do, but intelligence means nothing if social blow jobs are what gets you to wherever it is that you want to be.
If you honestly think 'social blow jobs' are the only paths to your own individual success, then I'd hate to see what success it is you are seeking. The people who are constantly socially sucking the Man off, receive no respect in the long run.
 

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I just try to be centered in the person that I Am.

A great practice is to consider all the inconveniences an object of jealousy would cause. Suddenly, I find my want for that object waning. I eventually don't want it.

What if I won 100 million dollars?

Then the government would take 30% of it.

Every poor relative of mine would be calling me on the phone, begging for a handout. I'd probably give it to them. Then one of them would blow it on drugs, and kill themselves, and I'd feel a tad responsible.

I might be convinced to buy a bigger house to live in and have fancier things that I never really needed, which in no way contribute to my happiness or well-being.

I would feel obligated to donate money to charity... but which? And certainly these charities would be calling me.

I hate telephone calls, and would rather not win on that basis alone. Not to mention I'd have all these new possessions but not feel happier, or if I did, such happiness lasts only with the newness of those things. This realization would make me feel empty, rather than fulfilled.

-.-

Similar arguments can be made for the popular, social people of this world. They have to live with all the friends that they make!!!
 

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You are the observer. Observe them and find something that they cannot do well. Something where you are better. If you can't find something simply assume that you are twice as intelligent. Works for me. ;)
Sounds egotistical and narcissistic if you ask me…
 

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Sounds egotistical and narcissistic if you ask me…
It is. :wink:

It is also only a way to cope with unreasonable jealousy. That's something I don't experience often, and it always disturbs me. I want to get rid of the feeling and this is what works best. Once the jealousy is gone I stop looking down on people. After all, I either found a few things in their lives that suck, or I haven't found anything which means I had better look up to them...
 

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I'm an extraverted type 5. Odd, huh?

I've learned 2 strategies in particular work quite well for me:

1. Let loose. Stop thinking and flow with the natural tide of things rather than try to analyze, comprehend, and theorize about the way things work. The more you do this, the more you end up looking like Data from Star Trek, lol. Seems to me the best way to know what to say is to not think about it. The best way to know what to do is to act on your instincts. (This all socially speaking, of course). If anyone has seen the movie 21 Jump Street there was a line in the movie I liked in particular it went something like "The most important rule to know how to fit in is to not try at all. The less effort you put, the better."

2. Play to your strengths. You are cerebral. This is a very powerful tool, especially in the world of today. You have a natural talent at exploring and understanding things, perhaps better than others. People are drawn to this if it is advertised in the right way.
 

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Most of my friends (unfortunately) have for some reason or another turned out to be extroverts. I'm insanely jealous of that. I watch them successfully carry out completely irrational and illogical things with ease. With just a smile or a tear they seem to get whatever they want. People love them. That isn't even what irritates me the most. Whenever I see them hanging out with other people and going to parties without so much as an honorable mention on the guest list it really upsets me. Even though I hate meeting new people and I'm not fond of parties either. Have any of you had similar feelings and how did you deal with them?
I have terrible jealousy. Without going into detail, I will just say that I've had a pretty awful life (was born into an abusive household- that just led to one problem after another). It is impossible for me to feel happy for others when I see them getting things that I want, but can't have. I'm not sure how to deal with it. Mostly, if it's weighing heavily on me, then I try to think about something else (the ability to succeed at that depends on my level of depression). I'll leave the house, listen to music, go to my local yarn shop and attend the knitting circle there (yeah, I'm 30 and I knit). :p

I think, sometimes, if I could just stop caring about what the outside world does, then I think that would probably help the envy issue. Haven't figured out the secret, yet. My husband has- he used to have a similar issue, and also went through depression (he was lucky it went away on its own- that's a rare occurrence). His advice to me is: "Don't look for external validation. Happiness comes from within". I have a hard time understanding this statement, to be honest. He is an E5, btw.
 

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It is. :wink:

It is also only a way to cope with unreasonable jealousy. That's something I don't experience often, and it always disturbs me. I want to get rid of the feeling and this is what works best. Once the jealousy is gone I stop looking down on people. After all, I either found a few things in their lives that suck, or I haven't found anything which means I had better look up to them...
True, I just feel really bad inside when I think that I'm "all high and mighty" on what I think/do. I'm trying to make it less frequent actually...
 

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Discussion Starter · #12 ·
I'm an extraverted type 5. Odd, huh?

I've learned 2 strategies in particular work quite well for me:

1. Let loose. Stop thinking and flow with the natural tide of things rather than try to analyze, comprehend, and theorize about the way things work. The more you do this, the more you end up looking like Data from Star Trek, lol. Seems to me the best way to know what to say is to not think about it. The best way to know what to do is to act on your instincts. (This all socially speaking, of course). If anyone has seen the movie 21 Jump Street there was a line in the movie I liked in particular it went something like "The most important rule to know how to fit in is to not try at all. The less effort you put, the better."

2. Play to your strengths. You are cerebral. This is a very powerful tool, especially in the world of today. You have a natural talent at exploring and understanding things, perhaps better than others. People are drawn to this if it is advertised in the right way.
Playing on my instincts is a really bad move for me since by my very nature I'm a violent person. My 4 wing doesn't help that case either. Also I'm not sure how I can stop thinking while also playing my strengths since thinking is my strength.
 

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I'm an extraverted type 5. Odd, huh?

I've learned 2 strategies in particular work quite well for me:

1. Let loose. Stop thinking and flow with the natural tide of things rather than try to analyze, comprehend, and theorize about the way things work. The more you do this, the more you end up looking like Data from Star Trek, lol. Seems to me the best way to know what to say is to not think about it. The best way to know what to do is to act on your instincts. (This all socially speaking, of course). If anyone has seen the movie 21 Jump Street there was a line in the movie I liked in particular it went something like "The most important rule to know how to fit in is to not try at all. The less effort you put, the better."

2. Play to your strengths. You are cerebral. This is a very powerful tool, especially in the world of today. You have a natural talent at exploring and understanding things, perhaps better than others. People are drawn to this if it is advertised in the right way.
I agree with all you've said... except that I generally get myself into trouble when I don't think about what I'm saying.. But maybe it's because of my introversion, I need more word processing than you would because of that, maybe? I have no idea, I'm new to this.
 
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