How do you deal with other peoples emotional stress and problems? I find that when I am around someone I tend to absorb their feelings and I will continuously give advice and try to be supportive to the point I wear myself out because I don't know exactly how to help them. I know that this isn't necessarily THEIR fault but it is because I am just overly sensitive to others feelings and to stress itself. Is there a way you have learned to handle this? Some type of conversation you have with yourself in which you tell yourself not to get so worked up because it is not your battle? I found myself doing that today.
Dealing with other peoples stress and feelings
[INFP]
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If dropping a bad joke that makes me look silly doesn't distract the person (or is inappropriate to the situation) I like to picture an on/off switch in my head. After I've done what I canto try and help, I just kind of sit back passively inside my own head and start imagining flicking the switch to an off position.
It helps a lot if you can get away with making an unexpressive empty look on your face, as your actual emotions will often follow the look you are giving.
It helps a lot if you can get away with making an unexpressive empty look on your face, as your actual emotions will often follow the look you are giving.
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Hugs, hand holding, pats on the back... I give advice, but I find that physical contact speaks louder in stressful situations.
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I am too empathetic for my own good.
I've said before that it is as if I don't possess any feelings of my own, and that I just take on the general attitude of those around me.
I've said before that it is as if I don't possess any feelings of my own, and that I just take on the general attitude of those around me.
Feel your pain. I struggle with this as well. It's one of my things to work on because I'm so sensitive to someone's problem and I tend to over exert myself trying to give them advice or trying to help them come up with a solution. It's as if their problem becomes my problem. Not an easy to let go off. Faith is helping me with this. You can't be too stressed out because it will affect your peace. Learn to separate yourself from someone else's problems. It doesn't mean, you won't be concerned, but letting things go helps you to just be there for them rather than trying to be responsible for solving the problem for them.
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I'm a selective empath.
I'm very quick to write someone off if their problem is obviously self-inflicted or if they're searching for a source of pity.
It seems that the only time I get overwhelmed being the counselor is when the subject confuses venting with needing help.
I feel like venting is the most raw form of expression and if they, themselves, are just coming to terms with it then they haven't even tried to solve for x. I can listen for miles, but don't appeal to me if you haven't even tried to appeal to yourself.
Two heards are inherently better than one, but not if they're only utilizing two of the eyes.
Be aware of the difference between the two aforementioned yourself and it'll save you a lot of headaches and wasted time.
I'm very quick to write someone off if their problem is obviously self-inflicted or if they're searching for a source of pity.
It seems that the only time I get overwhelmed being the counselor is when the subject confuses venting with needing help.
I feel like venting is the most raw form of expression and if they, themselves, are just coming to terms with it then they haven't even tried to solve for x. I can listen for miles, but don't appeal to me if you haven't even tried to appeal to yourself.
Two heards are inherently better than one, but not if they're only utilizing two of the eyes.
Be aware of the difference between the two aforementioned yourself and it'll save you a lot of headaches and wasted time.
This is really good advice! But......how do you practice it..just not say anything? LOL
This becomes a bother especially when trying to sort through your own feelings :[
But yes I get that feeling a lot the empathy sets in quite fast then before you know it you're trying to console a friend or family member or even stranger. It also leads to nothing getting done because you're too worn out to do anything after then you go into your thoughts and BAM! the stuff you were consoling them about is making deep connections with other stuff in your head so then you have to sleep or you go nuts, least I do xP
But yes I get that feeling a lot the empathy sets in quite fast then before you know it you're trying to console a friend or family member or even stranger. It also leads to nothing getting done because you're too worn out to do anything after then you go into your thoughts and BAM! the stuff you were consoling them about is making deep connections with other stuff in your head so then you have to sleep or you go nuts, least I do xP
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