Personality Cafe banner
1 - 20 of 32 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
283 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Have any of you dealt with a 6w5 (INFJ in particular) who has decided you're their enemy because of their own paranoid assumptions (this individual has a narcissistic parent which seems to color her beliefs about me)? Any suggestions for how to deal when you aren't able to avoid this person and they are convinced that they understand your intentions + inner world completely? I am severely creeped out and feel trapped
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,554 Posts
Have any of you dealt with a 6w5 (INFJ in particular) who has decided you're their enemy because of their own paranoid assumptions (this individual has a narcissistic parent which seems to color her beliefs about me)? Any suggestions for how to deal when you aren't able to avoid this person and they are convinced that they understand your intentions + inner world completely? I am severely creeped out and feel trapped
I've dealt a little with an INFP 6w5, and I get completely what you mean with the paranoia. What I did was not playing along with him, and take things in a very lighthearted way until he calmed down. They seem to be hurting themselves more than anyone else, they think something is wrong no matter what you say, you might just as well give off good vibes. Ignoring them is the worst thing you can do, just wait for the storm to pass. It is tiring, but if you say nothing they might see that as confirming their assumptions.

Good luck with your friend, try to see the good aspects of your relationship for the both of you, and trust his/her discernment to see beyond his/her fears.
 

·
MOTM Dec 2011
Joined
·
8,651 Posts
Have had a few nightmare situations with unhealthy xSFJ 6w7s. Currently have one trying to ostracize me. I like when I am blissfully ignorant of it, but that really ticks them off, because they need to affect you to feel some control. They will up the ante until you are forced to acknowledge the imaginary BS story they've been concocting about you in their head.

I feel like there is no winning, and they are so two-faced that even if you think it's been smoothed over, it may not be. These people tend to have a poor grasp of their own interiors, and from my perspective, that means they cant read into others as well as they like to think (ie. you must know yourself first, especially to spot when you're projecting). Their opinion of me doesnt bother me, since I know its really about themselves, but its when they try to sabotage me and slander me that I struggle to ignore them.

I still feel like ignoring with a benevolent air is the best bet though. Be above their pettiness. I trust that eventually these people are seen through, and so any slander they may make of you will be exposed for what it is. Ive witnessed this, as far as their credibility crumbling when everyone realizes they trash people and play victim.

When you interact, be impersonal, brief, but friendly in like a business manner. Discuss shallow stuff only, and if they pry for more, everything is great and business as usual. This will worsen their paranoia for a bit, as the less solid info they have, the more the crazy multiplies in their heads, but this will lead to them cracking faster. You want them to totally crack and be exposed, then all their power is gone. You cannot ease or appease them truly, so dont get caught up in the futility of it. It may appear that more info soothes them and makes them less hostile to you, but they can flip like a switch and twist stuff to be used against you later. It's like US Miranda rights, "anything you say can and will be used against you".

Never mention them to others. You will keep innocent that way. If mad, go online and vent, but resist saying anything bad about them or even bringing them up at all. People can and will eventually see the contrast between their hatefulness and your harmlessness.

I dont know the details for you, so this is coming from my experience. Hope some of it helps.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
283 Posts
Discussion Starter · #4 ·
Have had a few nightmare situations with unhealthy xSFJ 6w7s. Currently have one trying to ostracize me. I like when I am blissfully ignorant of it, but that really ticks them off, because they need to affect you to feel some control. They will up the ante until you are forced to acknowledge the imaginary BS story they've been concocting about you in their head.

I feel like there is no winning, and they are so two-faced that even if you think it's been smoothed over, it may not be. These people tend to have a poor grasp of their own interiors, and from my perspective, that means they cant read into others as well as they like to think (ie. you must know yourself first, especially to spot when you're projecting). Their opinion of me doesnt bother me, since I know its really about themselves, but its when they try to sabotage me and slander me that I struggle to ignore them.

I still feel like ignoring with a benevolent air is the best bet though. Be above their pettiness. I trust that eventually these people are seen through, and so any slander they may make of you will be exposed for what it is. Ive witnessed this, as far as their credibility crumbling when everyone realizes they trash people and play victim.

When you interact, be impersonal, brief, but friendly in like a business manner. Discuss shallow stuff only, and if they pry for more, everything is great and business as usual. This will worsen their paranoia for a bit, as the less solid info they have, the more the crazy multiplies in their heads, but this will lead to them cracking faster. You want them to totally crack and be exposed, then all their power is gone. You cannot ease or appease them truly, so dont get caught up in the futility of it. It may appear that more info soothes them and makes them less hostile to you, but they can flip like a switch and twist stuff to be used against you later. It's like US Miranda rights, "anything you say can and will be used against you".

Never mention them to others. You will keep innocent that way. If mad, go online and vent, but resist saying anything bad about them or even bringing them up at all. People can and will eventually see the contrast between their hatefulness and your harmlessness.

I dont know the details for you, so this is coming from my experience. Hope some of it helps.
Thanks so much, this is very helpful. I feel a little ridiculous because this INFJ is actually on reddit, but I post so much on this particular community and she's making me want to flee and genuinely terrifies me.

Apparently Hitler was an INFJ 6w5 and not to say that my situation is so extreme (obviously) but I completely see the similarities: it's like she derives comfort from seeing me as an enemy, and absolutely NOTHING will change how she feels, only add more possibilities to the Narcissist Paradigm.

I try to ignore her but she posts on everything I do and I'd prefer not to have her slander my reputation constantly... it is so incredibly disturbing how obsessed she is. I should probably just completely ignore her because it's too much stress to defend myself but idk. over time it will have to pay off to ignore (i hope).

i really feel for you, dealing with that 6w7 irl. hopefully there are people around you who understand her nature and your nature
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
6,071 Posts
My experience with a 6 INFJ was extremely annoying as I had to fight off the prejudice and assumptions, it is especially difficult when it is not spoken, even when I ask around. Well the universe has played its part as well creating ridiculous situations so I understand some part of the paranoia but I am really annoyed that once the assumption has been made, there is not much that will change their mind such as facts, proves (especially for Ti users I guess). It was equally annoying when the person kept lying and hiding thing himself -_-
 

·
Banned
Joined
·
2,318 Posts
I don't know about this, I am 6w5 and INFJ as a bonus so I am exactly what the subject is about. I don't know about your friend here and what motivates him, but I can say that it's not very 6w5 of him to be influenced by someone else. 6w5 question everything. And I mean everything. I question the motives of my mom. I don't just go with what someone is saying, I research, study and observe, I don't just take opinions and develop feelings on those. As an INFJ I have the tendency to question authority and definitely I would question my parents motives. I made friends from enemies, but only because they were receptive to it.

I would assume that this person is bullying you? Or something similar. Well, here's a tip for you. Ignore. It hurts. It loses novelty rather quick for such a type. If you're being intimidated, be intimidating. I wish I would know what is that this person is doing so that I can give you information from the inside. I know 6w5 is considered the paranoid trait, but I can tell you that this type needs a different treatment than the rest. Quickest way to get along with a 6w5? Be kind. Being ignorant is just aggravating things. Be kind instead.

I find it hard to respond maleficent (such a dramatic term, do you think not :kitteh:) to a kind gesture. It just burns the soul inside me and I fill with regrets to a painful level. So, maybe you can do something visible in public, as a kind gesture to this person so that you can hit this nervous center? Or at least embarrass the person in public by you being nice while they are being a dick. One of these will do the trick.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Ninjaws

·
Lotus Jester
Joined
·
8,877 Posts
I was involved with someone like that two years ago who always read the most insane and malevolent intentions into my most well-intentioned behaviour; so yeah, I hear ya.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,554 Posts
Well the universe has played its part as well creating ridiculous situations so I understand some part of the paranoia.
6s are specialists to find any sort of threats or all around fucked up things, they provoke them unconsciously I believe at times. Because they always assume the worst, both them and the people they deal with focus on the negative outcomes or motives, and leave out the stuff that invalidates it. For example, I remember doing my Fe thing, being agreeable, shallow and all, and this INFP made a fucked up story out of it, so much convincing that I felt like I had to defend myself and show my good faith, which made me fall into the second trap, if I defend myself that means I'm guilty right ? And it goes on and on, they have total control over the situation yet they are not aware of it. They seem to believe WE control them, and do their best to fight us back, to check mate us.

That's why you don't have to let yourself doubt, because then you enter their game and you're going to loose no matter what.

That said I don't feel animosity towards them, I feel their sufferings, it must be tough being a 6.
 

·
Banned
Joined
·
2,318 Posts
Wow, you made 6s sound like they are the devil. Nice. Maybe it's people that belive they can't be bothered to try and comfort the type 6, they think that applying the "oh, handle it yourself, not my fault", will somehow comfort the type. Tell you what, leave 6s to those that can get involved and care, it's less stress and poor management for everybody involved. Funny how if you tell a type 4 to not be so brooding and deep you're an asshole that does not understand, but if you tell a type 6 to just not feel concerned about things, you're this mega mature person. Freaking double standards, type 6s aren't for anybody, leave them to the professional people that know how to be understanding and caring.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
283 Posts
Discussion Starter · #10 ·
Wow, you made 6s sound like they are the devil. Nice. Maybe it's people that belive they can't be bothered to try and comfort the type 6, they think that applying the "oh, handle it yourself, not my fault", will somehow comfort the type. Tell you what, leave 6s to those that can get involved and care, it's less stress and poor management for everybody involved. Funny how if you tell a type 4 to not be so brooding and deep you're an asshole that does not understand, but if you tell a type 6 to just not feel concerned about things, you're this mega mature person. Freaking double standards, type 6s aren't for anybody, leave them to the professional people that know how to be understanding and caring.
There's a big difference between railing against a 6w5 for mild paranoia and railing against them for stalking behavior, bullying and curbing your ability to be a part of a larger community due to their personal bullshit.
 

·
Banned
Joined
·
2,318 Posts
I was not talking about you, I was referring to some of the replies. Some of the responses really demonize type 6s. It's awful.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
283 Posts
Discussion Starter · #12 ·
@Kyusaku This is very helpful. With this particular INFJ 6w5 is online, do you think I should ignore them even when they're trying to slander me/present me as a monster to others? She has commented under me maybe 16 times in the past few weeks to 'warn' people that I am unstable and to take everything I say with a grain of salt etc etc. Do you think it's best to completely ignore her even as she's trying to ostracize me from others?

This is so fucking crazy. She has subscribed to and combs through subs I frequent just to find posts I may have made under a different username. I feel like I can't post in this community in peace anymore. Do you think things will get better with time if I COMPLETELY ignore her existence? This has been going on for months. It's like she's a prosecutor/detective trying to build a case against a serial murderer or something
 

·
Lotus Jester
Joined
·
8,877 Posts
I was not talking about you, I was referring to some of the replies. Some of the responses really demonize type 6s. It's awful.
Sadly, I've seen this type of despicable behaviour perpetuated all over the forum. I recently happened a post ludicrously demonizing type 2s and 2 fixers. This is the dark underbelly of a typology forum and I don't think that there's much that can be done to regulate it.

And while I love most 4s, I've run into a few extremely unhealthy ones that could give an unhealthy 6 - or any other type for that matter - a serious run for their money. ^^
 
  • Like
Reactions: FreeKekistan

·
Registered
Joined
·
283 Posts
Discussion Starter · #14 ·
@Chesire Tower I think most people are very aware of how maladjusted 4w5s can be. Before this encounter with this person, I really had no clue how strong the paranoia of 6w5s could be... to the extent that everything you say can and will be used against you. It becomes a freaky crusade. I don't see too many posts about unhealthy 6w5s or most other types. Maybe occasionally
 

·
Banned
Joined
·
2,318 Posts
Sadly, I've seen this type of despicable behaviour perpetuated all over the forum. I recently happened a post ludicrously demonizing type 2s and 2 fixers. This is the dark underbelly of a typology forum and I don't think that there's much that can be done to regulate it.

And while I love most 4s, I've run into a few extremely unhealthy ones that could give an unhealthy 6 - or any other type for that matter - a serious run for their money. ^^
I don't doubt it, and I am sure I have met this type before even knowing these exist, but you have to separate the unhealthy ones that see themselves as "fine", from those that are unhealthy and seek help. You know, first step of healing is admitting you have a problem. I know I have some of the 6w5 unhealthiness but I am working very hard at fixing things and so far I can consider myself successful. My SO can testify to this, I was way more brooding and depressed in the past, while now I've gone on the path of the INFP, seeking, living and absorbing positive and happy stuff. I still get frustrated from the lack of creative moments, but I try to shift attention to doing something else until I get the idea I need to get back to resume my initial work.

Yes, you heard it here first, a 6w5 that wants to create, like or even more than a 4.

More news, tonight at 7, Channel 5. :p

@Chesire Tower I think most people are very aware of how maladjusted 4w5s can be. Before this encounter with this person, I really had no clue how strong the paranoia of 6w5s could be... to the extent that everything you say can and will be used against you. It becomes a freaky crusade. I don't see too many posts about unhealthy 6w5s or most other types. Maybe occasionally
It really depends if this started somewhere. You see, as a 6e5 I doubt people, but as long as they look genuine I don't question them on the paranoid side. If you mess something up, then I would identify with what you say there, but only as a response to your bad doings. Want to say what exactly happened that triggered this behaviour? If you wish to share, of course.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
283 Posts
Discussion Starter · #16 · (Edited)
@mystikro what triggered the behavior was using different accounts on reddit and making 'self-pitying' posts, or asking different types what they thought of INFPs. I have been living at home w my mom for awhile, she has early-onset alzheimers, and I don't really see people throughout the day. Sometimes I get passionate about my opinions. I am erratic. But I mean well, and 99% of the time I am trying to connect with and help others (particularly INFPs).

When this user saw that I was using multiple accounts, she labeled me deceitful. I explained my situation but she didn't care, of course. From then on, she decided that my behavior fit the pattern of a narcissist and I would have to be harassed out of the community.

In the community, on another sub, there is a community of trolls. They would seek to rile up INFPs, and this user got in on the action. She has buddied up to them and encouraged them to make parody accounts of me.

For the last few weeks, she has commented on every harmless post of mine to 'warn' people about how unstable I am and how I have horrible intentions or whatnot. If anyone looked through my comment history they would find literally nothing shady. She has become the dogged detective/police of this community and has made it her mission to weed me out, no matter what I say or what my behavior is. See, she believes that I'm incapable of behaving with good intentions so everything I do or say will be used against me. I can't win. If I use another account to get away from her, she will find me, 'expose' me, and the whole cycle will continue as it has.
 

·
MOTM Dec 2011
Joined
·
8,651 Posts
@Kyusaku This is very helpful. With this particular INFJ 6w5 is online, do you think I should ignore them even when they're trying to slander me/present me as a monster to others? She has commented under me maybe 16 times in the past few weeks to 'warn' people that I am unstable and to take everything I say with a grain of salt etc etc. Do you think it's best to completely ignore her even as she's trying to ostracize me from others?

This is so fucking crazy. She has subscribed to and combs through subs I frequent just to find posts I may have made under a different username. I feel like I can't post in this community in peace anymore. Do you think things will get better with time if I COMPLETELY ignore her existence? This has been going on for months. It's like she's a prosecutor/detective trying to build a case against a serial murderer or something
Read the TOS for that forum. Many have rules which would include character assassination under personal attacks.

I experienced this before from a paranoid, unhealthy 6 and I contacted a moderator and detailed why this was character assassination and amounted to a personal attack, albeit indirectly.

If you do this, make sure you contact a mod you know is not under her influence.

FYI, to those complaining, these are very unhealthy 6s being discussed, not your average 6.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
283 Posts
Discussion Starter · #18 ·
@OrangeAppled thank you. i am talking about reddit, so i'm not sure you can be banned from a sub for character assassination, unfortunately. i definitely have a draft saved with links from all of her one-sided interactions with me... even if i have behaved 'erratically' or 'emotionally' in the past i don't think there's any sane person who would believe i deserve this continual stalking and harassment.

she has been buddying up to trolls, letting them know my new username in the hope that they'll attack and parody me.

i am trying to decide just how much energy i'll allow for letting others know the situation + that i'm not a monster or if i should mainly just ignore her interactions entirely.

again, thanks for your advice! reassuring to know i'm not the only 4w5 who's attracted an insane 6w5.
 

·
MOTM Dec 2011
Joined
·
8,651 Posts
@ersatzcat no need to get someone banned....just alerting some authority who makes her aware they are aware may be enough to scare her to back off. Good that youve compiled that draft. I compiled something to make my case. In my recent situation, the 6s trying to damage my reputation backfired when they sought an authority figure of sorts, because I had facts to present and they had "feelings".
 
  • Like
Reactions: ersatzcat

·
Registered
Joined
·
283 Posts
Discussion Starter · #20 ·
@OrangeAppled haha she has only ever visited the INFP sub (and a few others) to taunt me, actually, so banning wouldn't be too bad. There are 16 MBTI subs so it wouldn't be as harsh as getting her banned on PerC or something.

she does have 'evidence' of my erratic behavior aka people (mainly on the trolling sub) who have had negative experiences with me. I think I've mellowed out a ton but of course this doesn't mean anything to her--it's just a new 'mask.' My core is completely corrupted and my intentions are forever malevolent in her mind. ::eyeroll::so even if every comment i make from here on out is Peachy Keen with literally zero antagonism within, it's another comment she can twist in her narrative to use against me.

i suppose i'll just have to keep the links and keep ignoring her and hopefully at some point she'll give up. again, thanks for sharing! really lifts some anxiety to recognize another 4w5's experience
 
1 - 20 of 32 Posts
Top