We don't seem to have one of these threads. I figured it's time to have one in case any of us wants to write a letter to someone, specifically of a certain Enneagram Type. But be free to write to whomever you choose regardless of Enneagram/MBTI/whatever type.
Dear [Enneagram Type], Sincerely [Enneagram Type]
[Enneagram Type 5]
1 - 20 of 451 Posts
Dear Type 2 Mom,
Please state what YOU want. The reason why your Type 1 daughter is upset with you is because your passivity allows others to have their way and say nine times out of ten when you have right and reason to get your way as well. I think she's peeved because she sees just how unfair things are and can't continue to respect your indirect, passive approach. Your selflessness is honorable and I'm aware I should learn from it, but seriously, I'm also getting tired of reading your mind. Be assertive when it's called for, please!
Love,
Your Type 5 daughter
Dear Type 2,
I'm onto you.
Signed,
This Type 5 who has good Spidey-sense.
Please state what YOU want. The reason why your Type 1 daughter is upset with you is because your passivity allows others to have their way and say nine times out of ten when you have right and reason to get your way as well. I think she's peeved because she sees just how unfair things are and can't continue to respect your indirect, passive approach. Your selflessness is honorable and I'm aware I should learn from it, but seriously, I'm also getting tired of reading your mind. Be assertive when it's called for, please!
Love,
Your Type 5 daughter
Dear Type 2,
I'm onto you.
Signed,
This Type 5 who has good Spidey-sense.
Joined
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2,175 Posts
Dear 6w7 boyfriend,
When you are frustrated I wish you would find a better way of letting your frustrations out. I was really hurt and embarrassed by what you said to me today in front of a stranger. It was the first time you ever made me feel that way and I didn't like it.
Thank you for sincerely apologizing within 30 minutes and admitting what you did was wrong. That was all I needed.
I love you,
Your 5w4 girlfriend.
When you are frustrated I wish you would find a better way of letting your frustrations out. I was really hurt and embarrassed by what you said to me today in front of a stranger. It was the first time you ever made me feel that way and I didn't like it.
Thank you for sincerely apologizing within 30 minutes and admitting what you did was wrong. That was all I needed.
I love you,
Your 5w4 girlfriend.
Joined
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947 Posts
Dear spacey 4w5 ,
I wish we could meet. Then again, it might be nerve wrecking so....I don't know. Maybe not today, someday for sure.
Sincerely,
A 5w4
I wish we could meet. Then again, it might be nerve wrecking so....I don't know. Maybe not today, someday for sure.
Sincerely,
A 5w4
Joined
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3,338 Posts
Dear Type 8w7 daughter,
The world doesn't revolve around you. Stop being such a drama queen. Would it kill you to be bored for 30 mins?? Your father and I are thinking about hiring a private clown to keep you entertained bc you are draining the life out of us. Stop lying and being sneaky about your hw. Also, quit with the lying entirely...I see through you. I dread the day you become a teenager. I love you!
Love always,
Your exhausted 6w5 mother
The world doesn't revolve around you. Stop being such a drama queen. Would it kill you to be bored for 30 mins?? Your father and I are thinking about hiring a private clown to keep you entertained bc you are draining the life out of us. Stop lying and being sneaky about your hw. Also, quit with the lying entirely...I see through you. I dread the day you become a teenager. I love you!
Love always,
Your exhausted 6w5 mother
Dear Enneagram tritype 6-4-9,
I gave you many chances. I gave you benefit of doubt each and every time. I let you in because I decided you were trustworthy. I gave you my time, attention, and loyalty because you were worth it to me. I also believe I gave more; I invested more in this friendship. And the one time I really wanted your support, you remained robotic as usual.
I'm over this. Maybe this is karma, so I'm getting my due. I accept it.
You have taken my friendship for granted. I will never allow you to take me for granted ever again.
Don't call me to meet up. Call someone else. Don't email me articles anymore because I will no longer oblige you in discussing them with you. Don't IM me again. Make small talk with someone else.
I refuse to be here for your convenience. We all have it tough in some ways. I have never asked for much from you, ever. But you can't pull through even once for me. This is not an equal friendship based on mutual respect and reciprocity. This is when I need to see things for what they really are. And now, I finally have.
Consider me your distant friend because I can't do this anymore.
Signed,
a Tritype 5-9-4
I gave you many chances. I gave you benefit of doubt each and every time. I let you in because I decided you were trustworthy. I gave you my time, attention, and loyalty because you were worth it to me. I also believe I gave more; I invested more in this friendship. And the one time I really wanted your support, you remained robotic as usual.
I'm over this. Maybe this is karma, so I'm getting my due. I accept it.
You have taken my friendship for granted. I will never allow you to take me for granted ever again.
Don't call me to meet up. Call someone else. Don't email me articles anymore because I will no longer oblige you in discussing them with you. Don't IM me again. Make small talk with someone else.
I refuse to be here for your convenience. We all have it tough in some ways. I have never asked for much from you, ever. But you can't pull through even once for me. This is not an equal friendship based on mutual respect and reciprocity. This is when I need to see things for what they really are. And now, I finally have.
Consider me your distant friend because I can't do this anymore.
Signed,
a Tritype 5-9-4
Dear Type 4w5,
Thanks for always being on my side. You enrich my life and imbue it with color and beautiful images and feelings. Thank you for being you. I haven't the words to express how much you mean to me, but I hope you somehow just know you mean so, so much.
Love always,
a blessed Type 5w4
Thanks for always being on my side. You enrich my life and imbue it with color and beautiful images and feelings. Thank you for being you. I haven't the words to express how much you mean to me, but I hope you somehow just know you mean so, so much.
Love always,
a blessed Type 5w4
Joined
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2,156 Posts
Dear Type 6w7 friend,
I really don't understand you at all sometimes. I've tried, but it doesn't make much sense. I know you're insecure and anxious. Everyone seems to see it except you. I guess I just don't see how you can be so un-self aware.
I understand the ambivalence thing... but you really take it too far to the point where I think you're just two-faced sometimes.
You've said that I have trust issues. And you're right, I do. But I wish you would see your part in that also and take some responsibility. You've lied to me SEVERAL times. I think I have reason to not trust you. I may have overreacted emotionally, but the basis for my lack of trust in you is very valid. I just want you to mean what you say and say what you mean. If you're unsure of something, I wish you would just say that you are unsure instead of giving mixed signals and responses and making me feel like I have to guess with you all the time. It's really wearing me out.
Sincerely, A Type 5 who cares and worries about you
I really don't understand you at all sometimes. I've tried, but it doesn't make much sense. I know you're insecure and anxious. Everyone seems to see it except you. I guess I just don't see how you can be so un-self aware.
I understand the ambivalence thing... but you really take it too far to the point where I think you're just two-faced sometimes.
You've said that I have trust issues. And you're right, I do. But I wish you would see your part in that also and take some responsibility. You've lied to me SEVERAL times. I think I have reason to not trust you. I may have overreacted emotionally, but the basis for my lack of trust in you is very valid. I just want you to mean what you say and say what you mean. If you're unsure of something, I wish you would just say that you are unsure instead of giving mixed signals and responses and making me feel like I have to guess with you all the time. It's really wearing me out.
Sincerely, A Type 5 who cares and worries about you
Joined
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891 Posts
Dear Enneagram 2w1
Stop trying to control my life. *I* decide what's best for me, not you. Stop "love-bombing" me, and start being civil, for god's sake. *Stop invading my space*- it is precious to me. If you weren't technically family, I would avoid you like the plague. You bring my worst qualities and I don't appreciate that.
If you really love me, just leave me be. Seriously, just pretend I don't exist. Okay? Now go live your life, and I'll live mine.
Sincerely,
Enneagram 1w2
Stop trying to control my life. *I* decide what's best for me, not you. Stop "love-bombing" me, and start being civil, for god's sake. *Stop invading my space*- it is precious to me. If you weren't technically family, I would avoid you like the plague. You bring my worst qualities and I don't appreciate that.
If you really love me, just leave me be. Seriously, just pretend I don't exist. Okay? Now go live your life, and I'll live mine.
Sincerely,
Enneagram 1w2
Joined
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1,824 Posts
Dear 9w1,
I needed you, and you failed me. You were too lost in your own need for peace. You stood by and watched abuses happen. You let your husband control you. You lied to my father; you told him I was all right during some of the darkest times of my life. You left my sister to a drug addiction and me to die because you couldn't be bothered to involve yourself in the lives of those who most needed you.
You sacrificed us to your god of Peace when you should have fulfilled your first obligation--being a mother.
Our lives have been brutalized by what you will never acknowledge,
--7w8 and 4w5 (sister)
I needed you, and you failed me. You were too lost in your own need for peace. You stood by and watched abuses happen. You let your husband control you. You lied to my father; you told him I was all right during some of the darkest times of my life. You left my sister to a drug addiction and me to die because you couldn't be bothered to involve yourself in the lives of those who most needed you.
You sacrificed us to your god of Peace when you should have fulfilled your first obligation--being a mother.
Our lives have been brutalized by what you will never acknowledge,
--7w8 and 4w5 (sister)
Joined
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891 Posts
Dear Type 9 hypnotherapist,
You will probably never see this post, but I just wanted to say thank you for reminding me that their are other options for healing besides "self-esteem/positive thinking magic." Thank you also for providing insights into my E-type, and for confirming what yours was as well (I strongly suspected 9). It helps to know how we differ, as for the longest time, I couldn't read you. I wasn't able to tell if your facial expression meant you were annoyed or emotionless or what. Now I know that this is probably a defense mechanism, and I feel that I know where I stand with you. Thank you for letting me take the lead role in my therapy, and for using the post-hypnotic suggestions I came up with in my sessions with you. Finally, thank you for letting that little foster cat into your life. I know you are attached to her. If you feel you're ready, please let her love you. As you know yourself, animals have a way of showing love and touching the heart in a way that humans cannot. Your clients love her, too. Please consider keeping her- I think she is a great pet for you.
I look forward to seeing you later today.
Sincerely,
Your 1w2 client
You will probably never see this post, but I just wanted to say thank you for reminding me that their are other options for healing besides "self-esteem/positive thinking magic." Thank you also for providing insights into my E-type, and for confirming what yours was as well (I strongly suspected 9). It helps to know how we differ, as for the longest time, I couldn't read you. I wasn't able to tell if your facial expression meant you were annoyed or emotionless or what. Now I know that this is probably a defense mechanism, and I feel that I know where I stand with you. Thank you for letting me take the lead role in my therapy, and for using the post-hypnotic suggestions I came up with in my sessions with you. Finally, thank you for letting that little foster cat into your life. I know you are attached to her. If you feel you're ready, please let her love you. As you know yourself, animals have a way of showing love and touching the heart in a way that humans cannot. Your clients love her, too. Please consider keeping her- I think she is a great pet for you.
I look forward to seeing you later today.
Sincerely,
Your 1w2 client
Joined
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3,131 Posts
Dear 5w6,
I'm really worried about you. You've gotten quite unhealthy. It is so sad to see you withdraw this far. You've always been good at reasoning things, but now your system of reasoning has gotten way out of hand. You're going around in circles and ending up at the exact opposite conclusion you should be coming to. Not that you will admit this. You are running away from everything. You don't trust anybody and anything now, except yourself. But please don't forget --
You cannot trust yourself right now. You are groping in the dark. Your once-thought impenetrable and perfect way of thinking things through has been twisted by yourself. It is not solid. It is not for sure. It never will be. Don't rely on that. I'm holding out my hand to you. I listen to you. You have intense feelings, and I won't say I can understand all of them, but I see you and my heart breaks. Please, trust me, trust us. I know it takes a jump you don't feel ready to make. But you need to do it. For your own well being.
Sincerely,
Your incredibly worried Type Six sister.
I'm really worried about you. You've gotten quite unhealthy. It is so sad to see you withdraw this far. You've always been good at reasoning things, but now your system of reasoning has gotten way out of hand. You're going around in circles and ending up at the exact opposite conclusion you should be coming to. Not that you will admit this. You are running away from everything. You don't trust anybody and anything now, except yourself. But please don't forget --
You cannot trust yourself right now. You are groping in the dark. Your once-thought impenetrable and perfect way of thinking things through has been twisted by yourself. It is not solid. It is not for sure. It never will be. Don't rely on that. I'm holding out my hand to you. I listen to you. You have intense feelings, and I won't say I can understand all of them, but I see you and my heart breaks. Please, trust me, trust us. I know it takes a jump you don't feel ready to make. But you need to do it. For your own well being.
Sincerely,
Your incredibly worried Type Six sister.
Calm down, type Four.
Joined
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891 Posts
Dear 1w2 ex-friend:
You were never really a true friend to begin with. You only befriended me because you felt sorry for me, and because "Jesus would have wanted you to comfort the lonely." Puh-leeze. That is *not* true friendship, but is a form of deception based on your religion, that I do not agree with. Heck, if you knew I'd dropped Christianity altogether, you would probably call me an immoral person. Well, I think you are a self-righteous person. You probably don't even realize how much. You say you don't judge people who question their faith, and yet when that questioning leads to deconversion, you automatically condemn the "apostate" to hell. Yeah, that's a loving thing to do: condemn a person who asked honest questions because they were seeking the truth.
You have no idea, not a single freaking clue, what my inner struggles have been like all these years. I don't think you could even begin to understand what I went through when I left my faith, cut off contact with my family as a result (and also for other reasons as well), and ultimately got sick with physical pain because my emotional state was such a mess. I left my religion for moral reasons. I didn't think a God of love would want a church where scandal and cover-up by bishops and cardinals was occurring on a mass scale. I don't think a truly loving deity would condone a faith that ca lead to OCD due to it's ritualistic nature. Your version of Christianity is very similar to the one I believed in, in that it has sacraments. I sincerely hope you never develop scrupulosity (OCD around morality, religion, religious rituals, etc). I had it for 12 years. I so desperately wanted to do the right thing, and I'm not sure that you really ever got that. Or maybe you did, but you were so preoccupied with pushing your own views onto people and trying to subtly "convert" them through "being their friend" or "being nice to them." Sorry, but being nice to me isn't going to convince me that a certain deity exists. I am familiar with these types of conversion attempts, and can see right through them.
I'm glad I don't talk to you anymore. Every time I initiated contact, you would come up with an excuse to avoid socializing with me. Yeah, you're a real great "friend". And now you're in another city, yet again, which is good for me. I don't care about your stupid missionary work and all the other ways that you try to show off "what a good person you are." Have you never heard of fucking modesty and humility? I'm sure those are virtues your faith teaches. If I told you about my loss of faith, you'd judge me for sure. But if I'm ever asked by you, for whatever reason (unlikely, as I'm avoiding you), then I'd tell the truth. I don't care if you think I'm hellbound. At least I don't impose my views onto others in the way that you can't seem to resist doing.
I am terrible at making friends. I don't think I have any real friends, to be honest. But I'd rather be alone then spend time with a judgmental, self-righteous bitch like yourself.
Please examine your actions and your life. You have no idea how blind you are to your own faults.
Sincerely,
a 1w2 who is a lot more honest than you ever will be
You were never really a true friend to begin with. You only befriended me because you felt sorry for me, and because "Jesus would have wanted you to comfort the lonely." Puh-leeze. That is *not* true friendship, but is a form of deception based on your religion, that I do not agree with. Heck, if you knew I'd dropped Christianity altogether, you would probably call me an immoral person. Well, I think you are a self-righteous person. You probably don't even realize how much. You say you don't judge people who question their faith, and yet when that questioning leads to deconversion, you automatically condemn the "apostate" to hell. Yeah, that's a loving thing to do: condemn a person who asked honest questions because they were seeking the truth.
You have no idea, not a single freaking clue, what my inner struggles have been like all these years. I don't think you could even begin to understand what I went through when I left my faith, cut off contact with my family as a result (and also for other reasons as well), and ultimately got sick with physical pain because my emotional state was such a mess. I left my religion for moral reasons. I didn't think a God of love would want a church where scandal and cover-up by bishops and cardinals was occurring on a mass scale. I don't think a truly loving deity would condone a faith that ca lead to OCD due to it's ritualistic nature. Your version of Christianity is very similar to the one I believed in, in that it has sacraments. I sincerely hope you never develop scrupulosity (OCD around morality, religion, religious rituals, etc). I had it for 12 years. I so desperately wanted to do the right thing, and I'm not sure that you really ever got that. Or maybe you did, but you were so preoccupied with pushing your own views onto people and trying to subtly "convert" them through "being their friend" or "being nice to them." Sorry, but being nice to me isn't going to convince me that a certain deity exists. I am familiar with these types of conversion attempts, and can see right through them.
I'm glad I don't talk to you anymore. Every time I initiated contact, you would come up with an excuse to avoid socializing with me. Yeah, you're a real great "friend". And now you're in another city, yet again, which is good for me. I don't care about your stupid missionary work and all the other ways that you try to show off "what a good person you are." Have you never heard of fucking modesty and humility? I'm sure those are virtues your faith teaches. If I told you about my loss of faith, you'd judge me for sure. But if I'm ever asked by you, for whatever reason (unlikely, as I'm avoiding you), then I'd tell the truth. I don't care if you think I'm hellbound. At least I don't impose my views onto others in the way that you can't seem to resist doing.
I am terrible at making friends. I don't think I have any real friends, to be honest. But I'd rather be alone then spend time with a judgmental, self-righteous bitch like yourself.
Please examine your actions and your life. You have no idea how blind you are to your own faults.
Sincerely,
a 1w2 who is a lot more honest than you ever will be
Dear Type ?,
I've made a new friend in you. Thank you for lighting up my small part of the universe with your candor, dry wit, and tolerance. I don't have expectations of you. I just hope you know somehow that I appreciate the parts of yourself you have shared with me thus far. It's an honor getting to know you.
Truly,
a blessed Type 5
I've made a new friend in you. Thank you for lighting up my small part of the universe with your candor, dry wit, and tolerance. I don't have expectations of you. I just hope you know somehow that I appreciate the parts of yourself you have shared with me thus far. It's an honor getting to know you.
Truly,
a blessed Type 5
Dear 9w8 ex boyfriend
I could never quite forget how much you impacted my life, in a good way. You were my first love, and will always have a special place in my heart. Your constant patience and love for all of humanity, combined with a strong backbone and knowledge of what you were meant to do was truly inspiring. I don't think I've met anyone to this day who was as far along emotionally, mentally, and spiritually.
I always felt like I was always 2nd fiddle with you, as you cared about everyone, no matter how mean they were to you. And so I gave you presents, love, attention, thinking I could eventually bring the majority of your attention to me. Instead though, I drove you away which made me so angry at myself.
Sad fact is, I was simply too immature to realize how happy you were when I was simply giving for the sake of giving, and loving for the sake of loving. I had a lot of growing up to do, and to be honest I'm not all the way there yet. But I'm trying and I know that someday I will be.
Congrats on your marriage, and I hope she is able to make your life as blessed as mine was when I was with you. <3
Love, your ex 2w1 girlfriend.
I could never quite forget how much you impacted my life, in a good way. You were my first love, and will always have a special place in my heart. Your constant patience and love for all of humanity, combined with a strong backbone and knowledge of what you were meant to do was truly inspiring. I don't think I've met anyone to this day who was as far along emotionally, mentally, and spiritually.
I always felt like I was always 2nd fiddle with you, as you cared about everyone, no matter how mean they were to you. And so I gave you presents, love, attention, thinking I could eventually bring the majority of your attention to me. Instead though, I drove you away which made me so angry at myself.
Sad fact is, I was simply too immature to realize how happy you were when I was simply giving for the sake of giving, and loving for the sake of loving. I had a lot of growing up to do, and to be honest I'm not all the way there yet. But I'm trying and I know that someday I will be.
Congrats on your marriage, and I hope she is able to make your life as blessed as mine was when I was with you. <3
Love, your ex 2w1 girlfriend.
Joined
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891 Posts
Dear Type 8 acquaintance,
Thank you for saving my sanity, and possibly my life. You have a good heart, and I'm grateful for it.
Sincerely,
Your 1w2 acquaintance
Thank you for saving my sanity, and possibly my life. You have a good heart, and I'm grateful for it.
Sincerely,
Your 1w2 acquaintance
Joined
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891 Posts
Dear famous 6w5 who has been typed as such,
You are a disgusting human being, IMO. You say you live to do right, and yet you are hypocritical and corrupt. I like 6w5s, for the most part, but I would hate you, regardless of type. Heck, most of the *world* can't stand you for your actions and corrupt beliefs.
I'm not a violent person, but when you pass on (and that'll be soon, as you are very old now), then I won't miss you. I'll be able to breathe easier without your toxic influence that you project onto society.
You are a hypocrite. Go rot in the hell you created.
Sincerely,
An angry 1w2 who disagrees very strongly with your moral views
***
Dear 6w7 friend/acquaintance (I don't know what to call you anymore),
What the heck has gotten into you? Why do you continually ignore me for months on end. I know you're busy, I am too, but you seriously don't have the time to give me a quick phone call once in a while? Seriously, you've got at least 20 minutes to spare somewhere in your schedule? Or are you so immersed in your own head that you forget about most people around you?
Another thing, which I have told you before: Please start standing on your own two feet. Seriously. You are so indecisive and all over the place. You conform to social norms at the snap of ones fingers, it seems. Then, you say things like: "I wish I was I was as gutsy as you are when I was your age." Stop *wishing* and start *doing*. You actually have a lot of intelligence and strength. Start using your abilities
Sincerely,
Your 1w2 acquaintance/friend who is tired of this confusing behaviour
You are a disgusting human being, IMO. You say you live to do right, and yet you are hypocritical and corrupt. I like 6w5s, for the most part, but I would hate you, regardless of type. Heck, most of the *world* can't stand you for your actions and corrupt beliefs.
I'm not a violent person, but when you pass on (and that'll be soon, as you are very old now), then I won't miss you. I'll be able to breathe easier without your toxic influence that you project onto society.
You are a hypocrite. Go rot in the hell you created.
Sincerely,
An angry 1w2 who disagrees very strongly with your moral views
***
Dear 6w7 friend/acquaintance (I don't know what to call you anymore),
What the heck has gotten into you? Why do you continually ignore me for months on end. I know you're busy, I am too, but you seriously don't have the time to give me a quick phone call once in a while? Seriously, you've got at least 20 minutes to spare somewhere in your schedule? Or are you so immersed in your own head that you forget about most people around you?
Another thing, which I have told you before: Please start standing on your own two feet. Seriously. You are so indecisive and all over the place. You conform to social norms at the snap of ones fingers, it seems. Then, you say things like: "I wish I was I was as gutsy as you are when I was your age." Stop *wishing* and start *doing*. You actually have a lot of intelligence and strength. Start using your abilities
Sincerely,
Your 1w2 acquaintance/friend who is tired of this confusing behaviour
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