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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Im an INFP and I feel that I'm the complete opposite of my INTJ friend

We argue alot

How do you guys think of infps?
And what kind of friends do you like?

Tbh I think my INTJ friend hates me because I always act weird :( I cant help it! She always tells me to act more professional/intelligent.

Shes soooooooooooooo independent.

Shes also very sarcasric xD
 

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I relate to INTJs quite a bit, the same independence, rationality and sarcasm, and I have some experience with them. I think healthy INTJs want to be respected and unhealthy ones want to be worshiped. Most are quite gifted and they know it. We ISTPs don't generally take ourselves as seriously as most INTJs do, so definitely refrain from mocking their ideals and beliefs, even if they don't always give you the same courtesy. It's the Perceiving/Judging dynamic. You can see similar ideological formality in ISTJs, the main difference being that ISTJs are typically conformists and INTJs free thinkers.
Telling you to act more professional? That sounds like the Thinker/Feeler dynamic at work and with the Judging in INTJs you get little tolerance for emotional outbursts and the like.
 

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When it comes to arguments with INTJs: accept that you can't win, just treat us like we always are right, because we are (at least in our heads).

I find you INFPs to be very lovely, mysterious, a little hard to get to know maybe. Very private, quiet, but you can surprise with brutal honesty and this is a quality I like. Perhaps you can sometimes be a little too defending of your values, what you think is right (but this is also an admirable strength). You are often creative people, and I love this artsy-fartsyness, you're a great fuel for inspiration. You see the good in people and want things to last in the long run, and I can very much relate to the latter.

Don't try to make an INTJs excited, it won't work. I'd probably tell you to calm down or something. We have incredibly long fuses for all things emotional like this, good or bad.

Your friend probably doesn't hate you. We're just bad at showing affection and sometimes assume that you know that we love you, so in our heads we don't feel the need to remind you because we remember everything. A major weakness with us is that we can't understand what people think of us at all, and at the same time our mental castle prevents others from understanding our intentions, so we frequently get misunderstood alot. Sarcasm often gets misunderstood as seriousness, and even genuine kindness or honest curiosity gets taken in wrong ways.
 

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Well, I like INFPs and every other type, it just depends on how the individual is. My preference is just to be treated with respect as long as I've earned it and vice versa.

Most of my friends are easy going and accepting as I am and I've had long lasting friendships over decades and beyond. They are weirdos and I am too.

Embrace your weird!

Be exactly who you are.
 

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I am dating an INTJ. I would say that the way I treat her is the way I treat anyone. With respect. I enter into every conversation with her engaged and interested.

Realize that arguments are generally a form of miscommunication. You probably agree on most parts of the entire topic that you are discussing except maybe 5-10% of the details. Learn to state what you do mean and what you dont mean and do it with the mindset of not trying to win an argument but to clarify your meaning. Let the other person have their views and state clearly that you agree in part, and then point out the differences and build on the idea. VS this is the way it is.
 
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The major issue if you want to call it that with INFP's is the P part. We are closure seekers that means we want definite with no last minute changes. It means we come to conclusions, rather than seek possibilities and hold all of them in our basket at once. INTJs can't do that, it makes them anxious and uneasy, they have to pick just one, the best one, then back that horse. The things which drive us bonkers with you guys are likely to be....

- Tangents, oh the freaking tangents. Just keep your mind on the task/discussion/point at hand.
- Closure. For God sake.....pick one! Choices that is.
- Make a decision then stick with it, until it proves to be the wrong decision.

I think her reference to acting more professional could be better described as acting more consistent. For friends I like people who can make decisions, who can weigh options then commit to one, who can focus.
 

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I want to be treated based on how I deserve to be treated, actually. If you fuck with me with a proper reason, I'd probably understand. If not, well...

I don't like it when people tip-toe around me. I'm neither a fragile glass nor an unbreakable wall of ice or something.
 

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What do you guys think of INFP? Do you think we're annoying and "unprofessional"?
The only thing I find annoying is when you finally reveal how disappointed you are with something or someone because reality didn't match up with your initial vision of them. I can myself also get pretty idealistic about things, but I always have this distrust of everything that keeps me from getting catched by unexpected disappointment. You don't seem to have this, which still makes INFPs awesome people, but I imagine it must be tough being you sometimes because of this.

INTJs love critisism in every form and analyzing everything for clear facts and truths, in my experience sometimes you run from these things and try to avoid the problem instead of facing it head on, it can drive me nuts to be honest. ;)

I don't know about "unprofessional" since I don't think I've been in a work environment with one.
 

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I am an INFP and my best friend is an INTJ. And she is definitely weirder than me. In some situations I am way too serious when she jokes around and laughs all the time. This can be very annoying. She is always like an optimistic rainbow who loves people while I am really pessmistic and we argue a lot because of this. Most of the time I jell at her and she is the patient one and and tries to understand and comfort me. Your description sounds nothing like her.(and she is definitely an INTJ, without a doubt) Btw her boyfriend is an INFP too.
 

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Um, I have an INFP acquaintance, and even with him being much older than I am, he's so "not serious" - like, he'll be always joking about everything I say, and saying random weird things (trying to make me laugh, I guess), and deviate from the point of the talk. This annoys me a little. And maybe could be described as "unprofessional". But, don't know, he does make me laugh, actually, so it's not so bad.
Other thing that annoys me is that he treats me like a child. As if I needed to be guided, instructed, or taken care of, and couldn't be taken seriously. I don't know if this is an INFP trait. But it is annoying.
I can see how it could be a nice trait too, though. Showing that you care about people. I just don't need it.
 

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Um, I have an INFP acquaintance, and even with him being much older than I am, he's so "not serious" - like, he'll be always joking about everything I say, and saying random weird things (trying to make me laugh, I guess), and deviate from the point of the talk. This annoys me a little. And maybe could be described as "unprofessional". But, don't know, he does make me laugh, actually, so it's not so bad.
Other thing that annoys me is that he treats me like a child. As if I needed to be guided, instructed, or taken care of, and couldn't be taken seriously. I don't know if this is an INFP trait. But it is annoying.
I can see how it could be a nice trait too, though. Showing that you care about people. I just don't need it.
Everything you wrote describes how my INTJ acts when she's around me. Really, she does everything you said! She always jokes around and deviates from our actual topic, trying to make me laugh, even if I want to tell her something serious. (and she does make me laugh too but it's still annoying) And she also treats me like a child!
 

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Discussion Starter · #16 ·
This is how my intj friend texts xD
Do you guys agree to what she says?
Honestly, it does break my heart a little when she calls ma annoying, but I just accept it xD I am annoying haha
I try to reach her through emotions but she denies
She luaghs whenever I call her my friend lmao .
 
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