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Discussion Starter · #1 · (Edited)
I stole this from the ISTJ forum. (BTW, isn't it totally ISFJ to admit that you stole something from another forum? LOL)

Let's start this thing.

Dear ESTP,

Please stop flirting with everyone else and start flirting with me. I know I'm ludicrously awkward and nowhere near the ideal girl, but I think we could be great.

Sincerely,
ISFJ
 

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Dear ISTP,

I know we'd have a lot of obstacles to work out in a relationship, but I'm willing to try... 'cause my goodness gracious, you guys are all so attractive, and I don't mean just physically. Give it some thought, please? :)

Sincerely,
ISFJ
 

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Dear ENTP,

You don't know what you mean to me, because I know how much you hate it when I get all feely. I'm sorry I agonize over every little thing and bother you when I occasionally whine about how incompetent I am. I love your stubbornness to leave options open, to buy random things and to put off things that don't need to be done until the last minute; because its so different from who I am. ENTP, I love how when someone is being irrational/a jerk/ an idiot, you speak your mind. Unlike me, who lets it slide. I live a life I can't picture myself having through you. Thank you for being who you are, regardless of the consequences.

Sincerely,

ISFJ
 

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Dear INTP,

Youre the greatest person I ever met. You boggle my mind to the point of no return. You light my life with love and knowledge. I have never been with anyone as unique as you. You are my complete opposite but I cant get enough of you.... I love you :) <3
 

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Dear IXFP best friend,

I can't even type you myself. It's hard to type people in real life. Myers-Briggs even said it's important to type yourself. Thanks for being the only people who would listen to me talk about Jung and this self-discovery stuff and even trying to understand it. I get a strong Fi vibe from you for certain...it's probably your dominant function.

Brotherly Love,
Your ISFJ Bro
 

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Yes. What's intimidating about us?
My knowledge of MBTI isn't very deep yet, but in my head, NTs are the type most likely to engage in deep philosophical and hot button debates with running lists of facts and statistics for every and any point.

My feelings of intimidation likely stem from a feeling of inferiority and a personal stereotype of NTs...

My Fe is really acting up right now. (Feeling rather anxious before posting this)
 

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Dear INFP ex-roommate of freshman and sophomore year,

I can't believe I never thought to type you. I read the INFP profile this morning and died a little inside at how accurate it was.

We "broke up" a year ago. Okay, so it was roommate drama, but everything I feel about it and you is way too similar to how others feel about their exes. You tried to approach me this year like everything was just fine, and I balked. I never knew how to respond to you effectively... and I feel like I know even less now.

I always thought you needed to get over your extreme aversion to conflict. I never understood that it was built into your personality. But I always tried to understand how you felt, even if I really had no idea how to relate to you. I also see that my ISFJ-ness might have been overbearing for you, like when I tried to see both sides or when I acted too motherly.

Some things trigger memories of good times, and I'm tempted to randomly leave a personal gift at your door. Maybe in hopes of being friends again? But part of me just wants to move on.

I hope you find what you need, and I'm sorry I couldn't provide that.

Sincerely,
Your ISFJ ex-roommate

PS - This is quite possibly the most therapeutic thing MBTI and PerC has allowed me. I can't even begin to express how grateful I feel.
 

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Yes. What's intimidating about us?
My knowledge of MBTI isn't very deep yet, but in my head, NTs are the type most likely to engage in deep philosophical and hot button debates with running lists of facts and statistics for every and any point.

My feelings of intimidation likely stem from a feeling of inferiority and a personal stereotype of NTs...

My Fe is really acting up right now. (Feeling rather anxious before posting this)

I actually think this is very common for ISFJs to feel. I mention a bit of it in this thread:



http://personalitycafe.com/isfj-forum-nurturers/41880-debates-arguments-discussions-irl.html


The discussion also came up in this thread:

http://personalitycafe.com/sjs-temperament-forum-overseers/49815-what-do-sjs-think-about-nts.html


teddy564339 said:
I think the main issue is that what we want in life is completely different. I'm a very simple person....I just want to be able to do my job, enjoy the things that make me happy, and have people get along with each other and be happy as well. NT's generally seem to care more about knowledge, blunt truth, and entertainment.

Because of this, NT's often will say or do things that can hurt my feelings, and it makes it hard for me to be around them and enjoy my life. Learning about the MBTI has helped me a lot with this, because I've learned more how they usually aren't trying to do this, and it's helped me to work on my sensitivity. However, since I always go out of my way to avoid hurting others, it can still be difficult sometimes.

DeductiveReasoner said:
Well if you're like that, then you'll never get along with them. First of all, NT's don't put others' feeling first. It's just not in their priorities. They're not trying to be rude, but it just comes out that way. Second of all, why do you let other's presence influence whether or not you enjoy life? pssh...you get stuck around people you dislike all the time. Might as well enjoy it regardless of others.

teddy564339 said:
Here's the thing though, and this is what I think some NT's don't understand. I can do these things, and I have learned to more and more...but it takes a lot of work and effort. It's not something that comes naturally, it's not my natural preference. The Si/Fe combination gives me an automatic drive to care about other people's feelings and to internalize my experiences.

You can see why it's always complicated when two types with the exact opposite preferences (like ENTP and ISFJ) have a hard time understanding one another. What pushes us and motivates us in life are completely different.

What you have to understand is that asking me to blow off other people's feelings is pretty much the exact same thing as me asking you to put other people's feelings first. It's possible, but it's not what comes naturally. It takes a lot of work.


And if you go back and read some of my posts, I've mentioned that I have worked on this and grown a lot. My best friend from 4th grade is an NT, and I've talked to many NT's online over the years. My point wasn't in regards to everything about my life, but it was about my natural preferences.


So like anything, relationships of this sort take compromise. It can't just be one side compromising all of the time, any of those sorts of relationships are doomed to fail. The SF type needs to try to understand the NT type often isn't trying to be hurtful and should work on not taking things as seriously or sensitively, but the NT type also needs to work to temper what they say and keep in mind other people's feelings do matter to them. If both sides are willing to do this, the relationship can work very well. If not, it won't.



Really, a lot of it is down to understanding one another and establishing clear communication. I think from the ISFJ standpoint, it's important not to assume and NT means anything that they don't directly say, because we tend to misinterpret them a lot of times. Sometimes this may also mean that we have to ask for clarification. NTs make a lot of logical jumps that our Si has a hard time keeping up with, and this leads us to assuming things that they don't really mean.



So I think we just need to try to not react emotionally when talking to them, and to take our time to process things before we respond. It's easy for us to get caught up in our emotions, and that usually causes things to go in a bad direction.
 

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Dear particular ENFJ,

I know that we didn't always see eye to eye, and miscommunication plus misunderstanding led to the end of a friendship of many years. You were my closest friend, and I feel like you were the only one who actually tried to understand who I was deep down. I wish that I was a healthier individual then, and that I wasn't so stubborn about change. I wish that we could've had one of those friendships that lasted until we were decrepit old folks, but it just didn't work out that way.
We were both headed in different directions, and we both were changing a lot. Both of us had problems that we needed to solve on our own, and that meant not depending on one another so much. We both knew that the friendship became more like making up for the others weaknesses. It became unhealthy.
While it tears me apart to know that we won't have the close friendship that we did, I'm overjoyed with how you've grown as an individual. I would rather you continue to grow in your life, even if that means I'm no longer a part of it.

I'm grateful that even though we're not nearly as close anymore, that you still went out of your way to tell me you still care.
I still care too, and even though I'm not verbal about it, I'll still be around when times get rough and be there when you need someone, if you'll let me. Because in the end, we were more like sisters than anything. And family always sticks together, no matter what.
You helped me grow in many ways, and you helped me to be open to change and growth. You helped me to see the good in myself, when all I believed about myself is that I was worthless. Distance has helped me to truly appreciate the person that you are. You call yourself a bad person, but I don't believe that at all. I just hope you'd realize that not everyone has the ability to care so deeply for other people. I wish you'd see the good in yourself.
Despite all of our differences, I'm glad to have had the opportunity to have a friend like you. I'm happy that there are still memories that help remind me off all the fun, crazy, and meaningful times that we had.

May God always be with you wherever you go in this life,
Your sister in Christ, an ISFJ
 

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Dear INFP

I don't know for sure if you're an INFP, but anyway... you said you love me, and I just wanted to say I love you too. I wish that was enough for you to want to be with me. Regardless, that shift was amazing you beautiful Irish man.

Sincerely,

Your ISFJ
 

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My knowledge of MBTI isn't very deep yet, but in my head, NTs are the type most likely to engage in deep philosophical and hot button debates with running lists of facts and statistics for every and any point.

My feelings of intimidation likely stem from a feeling of inferiority and a personal stereotype of NTs...

My Fe is really acting up right now. (Feeling rather anxious before posting this)
Your point of view would be highly valued depending on how mature the NT is. The best debate partners are ones who see things differently - regardless of whether or not you come to the same conclusions. Its how you may get there that is intriguing and worthy of representation in those types of engagements.
 
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