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My friend recently said: "You know, X's life is pretty boring. He's my age and all set up. The wife, the business, own appartment, stuck to one place. That's pretty boring". "What doyou have?", I asked. "I still have a choice. I'm not attached to anyone or any place. Tomorrow I can change my life upside down. I can move to another city or another country, this wouldn't be possible with an appartment, business and wife". A soldier of fortune. A loser in someone's eyes or at least an undecisive person. Maybe, simply rationalizing. Anyway, it seems strange to me - preferring blurry vision of 50% dead / 50% alive cat and unlimited world of possibilities to at least some confidence and direction.


Sounds like you? Sounds not at all like you? Sounds like someone you know? Sounds like you in the past? What's your opinion - why people have this approach to life (we're all 27-30 years old)?


Strange for me. I try not to attach myself but still there should be some stability. There is always a plan B. Appartment can be rented. Business can be sold. Right man / woman can move with you, same with kids, there are plenty of examples. This would be harder than being a soldier of fortune but still not impossible.

Why then?
 

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For me, indecision can be a result of being presented with too many equally good options, or a lack of knowledge regarding what course is the best to take. Sometimes a combination of both. If I hadn't sucked it up and just picked a college major I'd still be working my way through every 100-level class in every field (how do I know I don't want to be an aerospace engineer if I've never even taken a class related to it). It's naturally unnerving to watch your own options in life narrow as a direct result of a personal choice--there's no one to blame it on if you screwed up this choice, and big life decisions are hard to go back on. It's tough for me to make big decisions when I just don't know how things will turn out. I need security in my decisions, which I why I tend to procrastinate them until I either have enough information to feel confident in my choice or I am forced to make one.

That being said, it could still easily be rationalization for being an underachiever.
 

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Confidence and direction>aimless wandering, however meaningful. By a narrow margin. That's just my personal opinion, as in, I function better with a confident sense of direction. Some people wander and leave positive change in their wake wherever they go. I wander and it's just...aimless. Listless. I may grow as a person but it doesn't create positive change in the world outside of myself. Give me a goal and a very good reason why it matters, and nothing will stop me from reaching it.
 

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Maybe you just haven't found your passion.

Personally, I like to have a stable core with the option of exploring alternatives before committing to them. Job, house, relationship, child, self-identity. All are a vital part of my life and provide me the strength to consider riskier paths.
 

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Some people find stability and a solid plan 'boring.' They want an adventure; they want to venture into the unknown. It could be that they feel restricted when confronted with a plan. They may want to keep options open and be generally unbounded with how they live their lives. Maybe they don't want to be tied down to anything, you know? I think this is more common with the youth we're still young and we don't have to make life changing decisions yet. It's easier for us to see the world, see all the unlimited possibilities, and feel like we can conquer it all.

Or perhaps they just haven't found a goal or purpose to work for. This is me, personally. Although I'm a mix of wanting to find a goal to work towards in order to stabilize my life later, and wanting to keep things open and keep dreaming big. My professor once told me us to take advantage of that 'I can conquer the world' feeling, because we can do anything. It's a nice thought.
 
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