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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
So is it demisexuals or sapiosexuals who get all excited if you speak to them and connect, and have not even met or had sex yet?

I am genuinely curious. So I can maybe try to assess where I get weirded out by some people. Maybe they get way more excited about connecting in conversation? Do not get me wrong I am obviously happy if I mentally connect with someone that is a good start. And heck it can be rarer. But I cannot possibly in my brain the way I think say mushy shit to someone I have either not slept with, known for a while, or spoke to over the course of a while. So I wondered if this was more a demisexual or sapiosexual kinda thing to just get super excited or romantic when you do connect with people mentally emotionally right away?

I need to stress it is not like all I can have is only sexual chemistry. That is not the case. I am someone who needs more chemistry than just sexual. I just need to know there is sexual chemistry ALSO from the experience first hand, before I am likely to fall for someone romantically or be inclined to have desire to say mushy shit. I just know this from trial and error and past experience.
 

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Sapios and demis are very similar in their excitement over connection (or it can look this way externally). This will vary from person to person unfortunately.

Some demis might also be sapio as well. Sapios are turned on by intelligence. Demis will feel sexual attraction if they connect to you somehow.
 

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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
Sapios and demis are very similar in their excitement over connection. This will vary from person to person unfortunately.

Some demis might also be sapio as well. Sapios are turned on by intelligence. Demis will feel sexual attraction if they connect to you somehow.
So they do not need to fuck first and also have sexual chemistry to feel and say mushy shit to someone?
 

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So they do not need to fuck first and also have sexual chemistry to feel and say mushy shit to someone?
Demis, no. they are not even going to register you as a sexual entity until they connect to you somehow.

Sapios, not sure on mushy. They get excited by intelligence though. 🤣

if you say something sufficiently intelligent to a sapiosexual who values your type of intelligence… You can almost hear the panties dropping.
 

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Very insightful :ROFLMAO:
My friend brought this demi thing to me (like, seriously) as she saw it in a documentary once as this brand new thing of wanting a connection with the person you sleep with. When I pointed out to her that then we are both demi, as are most people we know - she kept on insisting that demis have an EVEN more intense need of a connection than we do. Baffles the mind. Maybe the basis is a libido thing or needing more assurance, otherwise seems like a very arbitrary line to draw.
 

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Discussion Starter · #8 ·
My friend brought this demi thing to me (like, seriously) as she saw it in a documentary once as this brand new thing of wanting a connection with the person you sleep with. When I pointed out to her that then we are both demi, as are most people we know - she kept on insisting that demis have an EVEN more intense need of a connection than we do. Baffles the mind. Maybe the basis is a libido thing or needing more assurance, otherwise seems like a very arbitrary line to draw.
I agree with you overall. Because that has sorta been my eyeball roll when I hear some who say they are demis speak is what you are describing.

But going further with demis I was curious if these are the people that get eager about a mental connection before even sleeping together? Is that what a demi is?

I mean going back to what you say I cannot fall for someone with no emotional or mental connection, yes. BUT I also feel like cringey and pukey romanticizing someone I have not had sex with, or met after just an initial mental or emotional connection. If someone gets eager right after convo, connection, or sex I tend to feel uncomfortable.
 

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Demisexuals do not feel any sexual attraction to people they're not emotionally close to. Source: myself. The thought of getting in someone's pants, no matter how sexy everybody else perceives them to be, would never even cross my mind. I spent my entire life thinking that this is the default and how most people are exactly like this. It was only pointed out to me recently that that's not the case. I still find that baffling.

Sapiosexuals get off on your ability to do elementary calculus.
 

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Discussion Starter · #10 ·
Demisexuals do not feel any sexual attraction to people they're not emotionally close to. Source: myself. The thought of getting in someone's pants, no matter how sexy everybody else perceives them to be, would never even cross my mind. I spent my entire life thinking that this is the default and how most people are exactly like this. It was only pointed out to me recently that that's not the case. I still find that baffling.

Sapiosexuals get off on your ability to do elementary calculus.
Ok but lets say the demisexual has emotional connection

Thats is the part I am asking about

So can you be saying and feeling mushy shit for someone once you have fallen for them before you even fuck?
 

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Discussion Starter · #13 · (Edited)
Once that connection is established - definitely.
But what about the sex, I am so confused. Isn't that an element of the connection? Even if you need a basis before you have it. Or do you just have these feelings without any factor in kissing or sexual chemistry?

Can I put you people in my lab?;)
 

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But what about the sex, I am so confused. Isn't that an element of the connection? Even if you needs a basis before you have it. Or do you just have these feelings without any factor in kissing or sexual chemistry?

Can I put you people in my lab?;)
I'm sorry if I'm failing to express myself clearly, it's 5AM in this neck of the woods 😅

Sex is just one part of it, and in this case it isn't the first thing that happens, it isn't the origin, and it never could be the origin. It can only come after. Emotional connection has to happen first. Then, having sex is just broadening that connection.
 

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Ok but lets say the demisexual has emotional connection

Thats is the part I am asking about

So can you be saying and feeling mushy shit for someone once you have fallen for them before you even fuck?

Yes.

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I'm sorry if I'm failing to express myself clearly, it's 5AM in this neck of the woods 😅

Sex is just one part of it, and in this case it isn't the first thing that happens, it isn't the origin, and it never could be the origin. It can only come after. Emotional connection has to happen first. Then, having sex is just broadening that connection.
I know this is going to sound like the stupidest question ever, but what is an “emotional connection”?
 

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So is it demisexuals or sapiosexuals who get all excited if you speak to them and connect, and have not even met or had sex yet?

I am genuinely curious. So I can maybe try to assess where I get weirded out by some people. Maybe they get way more excited about connecting in conversation? Do not get me wrong I am obviously happy if I mentally connect with someone that is a good start. And heck it can be rarer. But I cannot possibly in my brain the way I think say mushy shit to someone I have either not slept with, known for a while, or spoke to over the course of a while. So I wondered if this was more a demisexual or sapiosexual kinda thing to just get super excited or romantic when you do connect with people mentally emotionally right away?

I need to stress it is not like all I can have is only sexual chemistry. That is not the case. I am someone who needs more chemistry than just sexual. I just need to know there is sexual chemistry ALSO from the experience first hand, before I am likely to fall for someone romantically or be inclined to have desire to say mushy shit. I just know this from trial and error and past experience.
"Bumping uglies" is all well and good (and fun), but then what? At some point, it is essentially "mutual masturbation" if there isn't anything else underneath. If I know she can hold up her end of the conversation, then I know there will be things for us to talk about when we're NOT having sex. I just want to know that getting laid isn't the only reason I'm getting it on with her.
 

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Discussion Starter · #19 ·
"Bumping uglies" is all well and good (and fun), but then what? At some point, it is essentially "mutual masturbation" if there isn't anything else underneath. If I know she can hold up her end of the conversation, then I know there will be things for us to talk about when we're NOT having sex. I just want to know that getting laid isn't the only reason I'm getting it on with her.
I am not dismissing mental or emotional connection though.

To counter the sentiment of what you are saying from a reverse perspective…

Blabbing I like yous is all well and good sometimes. But can also be sorta boring simple echo chamber too. To just brain jerk can also be a sorta circle jerk in another kinda way. If any of that makes sense
 
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