Personality Cafe banner

1 - 20 of 89 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,923 Posts
As a semi-young male I do not experience this, as my libido is fairly active. As I grow older, however, I could see myself becoming this way. I do find myself more attracted to people I like though(don't know if that is the same), as they are, in general, better people.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
3,444 Posts
Not at all, but there seems to be a lot of demisexuals on this forum.
 
  • Like
Reactions: misstheground

·
Registered
Joined
·
228 Posts
I do to a certain degree. I can admire and enjoy seeing a beautiful woman, kind of like a work of art, but it doesn't go further than that until I get to know her and connect mentally as well. Doesn't have to be a full blown romance. If she can say something interesting or funny, I'll get interested and from that point, beauty is definitely a plus. But I don't get attracted physically to people that I don't know or don't respect.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,131 Posts
Discussion Starter #6
I didn't realize that most people didn't relate to sexuality like this until recently. You mean this isn't average?

I don't crush on people until I've gotten to know them as friends, and by that point they've already stopped having interest in me because I'm too friend-ish.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
3,444 Posts
I didn't realize that most people didn't relate to sexuality like this until recently. You mean this isn't average?

I don't crush on people until I've gotten to know them as friends, and by that point they've already stopped having interest in me because I'm too friend-ish.
Sexual interest and "crush" are two separate things. Them being is unison is what makes a demisexual.
 
  • Like
Reactions: misstheground

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,131 Posts
Discussion Starter #8
Sexual interest and "crush" are two separate things. Them being is unison is what makes a demisexual.
I don't see them as different.

I guess that made my phrasing a bit off.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
228 Posts
I don't crush on people until I've gotten to know them as friends, and by that point they've already stopped having interest in me because I'm too friend-ish.
Don't overestimate the friend zone effect. There are lots of people out there who don't fall in love at first sight. Sometimes a physical attraction on their end will keep them thinking of you as "friend + potentially more", sometimes they are like you and need time to develop an attraction.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
82 Posts
I'm an INFP (border-line T). I'm demi-sexual. I discovered I was on this forum.
I just labelled myself "unsure" until I found this new, magical word that seemed to have gotten me down to a T.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
5,991 Posts
I just took the Kinsey test again. Just a boring old hetero.
I do find a much narrower scale of women sexually attractive compared to my other guy friends though. By far. And it's not always instantaneous either. It can take a while before I notice someone.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,923 Posts
One thing I've never been able to understand is how rude and stupid many men can be when it comes to attractive women and the comments that they make. I follow a few cosplayers, and one of my favorites is Jessica Nigri(mostly because of how nice she is, but yes she is very attractive), and I am appalled at what people comment on the photos that she posts. Here are a few examples from a recent photo shoot she posted:
-Extra lift and squeeze FTW!
-Two things pop out at me in the picture and it isn't her eyes
-this set is awesome
-i love her boobs
and ect. ect.

These are some of the more tame comments. I just don't understand why people are so rude when it comes to sexuality, it doesn't turn women on, if anything it offends them.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
297 Posts
As a semi-young male I do not experience this, as my libido is fairly active. As I grow older, however, I could see myself becoming this way. I do find myself more attracted to people I like though(don't know if that is the same), as they are, in general, better people.
You don't become demisexual you are. ​Aging will not cause you to become demisexual. Please.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Choice and Eerie

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,923 Posts
You don't become demisexual you are. ​Aging will not cause you to become demisexual. Please.
I then do not understand the concept as well as I had supposed. All I was trying to say was that I could see myself becoming more like this as my libido decreased in intensity. I could be wrong however.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,438 Posts
I can't say basic attraction works on this level for me, but actual interest does. Like, I can be mildly attracted to people day to day, but I'll only be extremely attracted to someone if I can see them as a close friend first. If I'm initially attracted to someone, being close with them will immediately make me much more intensely attracted to them.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
297 Posts
I then do not understand the concept as well as I had supposed. All I was trying to say was that I could see myself becoming more like this as my libido decreased in intensity. I could be wrong however.
Yeah that's just your hormones getting 'old' basically.
Demisexuality is only experiencing a sexual attraction after you've developed an emotional connection with that person.
That's what it really is.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
3,878 Posts
I can admire people as physically attractive but only after I learn of their personality do I really develop more of a sexual/romantic attraction for them. Like, there may be a beautiful girl that I know but she won't appeal to me unless if I have an emotional/intellectual bond with her first. If she is not attractive in that sense, then I don't care about her.

I've had female and male strangers lust after me for some reason but I won't reciprocate because I have no desire for them, even if they are considered sexually attractive by most others. But there are certain people who are incredibly attractive to me because I love their personality rather than their looks. It's basically 95% personality, which is the basis for my romantic/sexual desire toward them. Without a good personality, it's empty to me.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,923 Posts
I have thought about it more, and I think I understand it now. I thought at first that you were saying that demisexuals are not attracted to others unless they first get to know them. This(for me at least) is not the case, as I can say that I find a certain girl attractive, or that this or that person is beautiful. But if a pretty girl invited me over for the night I would say no, as I am not interested in shallow, meaningless sex. I would say that we should know and like each other first, and maybe even enter a relationship(I am not a prude but sometimes it's better to be committed). If I see a girl whom I think is pretty, I will say that I would like to get to know her, instead of the usual male "let's do it".

Don't know if this what you mean by demisexual, but it is my experience.
 
1 - 20 of 89 Posts
Top