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I´ve just been reading a thread about the 10 stages of depression for an ENFP and somehow I can find myself partly in all of those stages and this depression have been going of quite a while and as true as I´m writing this I´m lost in myself. I made this thread because I think I do need an own thread for my particular case. It´s been such a long time since I felt inner calm and I seriously can´t remember how it feels to be happy.
I can´t tell when this depression actually started but since I was 16 years old it have been down-hill with some few ups and downs. I can´t even say what the actual trigger was because I can relate to many smaller events that could somehow worked in a way that slowly broke me apart. So, my fuzzy conclussion is that I did never got time to heal before next event occured and in that way I just gave up at some point.
I haven´t been the person I wanted to be, very manipulating, emotional, cold to people and I´ve lost all my friends since long time ago and my only friend and girlfriend who I feel just can´t understand me. I´ve also lost all my before passionate interests. My high values have been starting to breaking down lately but I´ve discovered drugs in a way that just can´t be good. Sure, my values still screaming but I feel that voice are slowly decreasing. Just a few days ago I tried ecstacy with my cousin and my girlfriend and that opened my eyes I think. Becuase, I ended up on this site. (I want to be REALLY clear that drugs is a way to kill you. Not particular to medical death, but you will die inside and you will destroy everything you do live for. So, do please do not do drugs. With that said, I´m very much against drugs) This drug made me feel inner calm, inner joy and just pleasure to be a part of this world, a feeling I very much had before my depression. That´s how I realized how far down in my depression I was because I started to think when I last felt happy and I can´t remember just how it felt to be happy anymore.
I want my life back and therefor I will try to attempt to do anything to reach inner calm again, for me and for my wonderful girlfriend I can´t understand where she gets her energy to keep herself in this relationship. I´m begging for any advices you people can give me and I will try to keep this thread as a diary aswell. I tried to keep this post as small as possible so if there´s anything you people want to ask, feel free to do it. I will be an open book and will answer any questions.

Dearest// Niklas
 

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I guess the first thing I have to offer is to surround yourself with good things and expel all the things that make you sad. Try and create an 'it'll be okay,' playlist for when you're feeling anxious or dwelling on bad things. Keep something with you at all times that's a sure-fire way to stir up some happiness--even if it's just a photo of your girlfriend, family, or a rock you found on a vacation a long time ago.

The next suggestion I have is to meditate. Work on letting things go, and trying to find guidance. Talk to people about your problems. People on here are always willing to lend an ear!

Start working out more--I know it's difficult to find the motivation, but the hardest part is the first couple of laps or the first mile. It releases all the happy chemicals all up in the head. Of course, if you continue use of drugs, you can permanently mess up your brain's chemical makeup, in which case, you should probably see a doctor. Staaaayy awaaayy from the drugs, if you don't listen to anything else I'm typing!

I hope things get better for you, Niklas. C:
 

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I guess the first thing I have to offer is to surround yourself with good things and expel all the things that make you sad. Try and create an 'it'll be okay,' playlist for when you're feeling anxious or dwelling on bad things. Keep something with you at all times that's a sure-fire way to stir up some happiness--even if it's just a photo of your girlfriend, family, or a rock you found on a vacation a long time ago.

The next suggestion I have is to meditate. Work on letting things go, and trying to find guidance. Talk to people about your problems. People on here are always willing to lend an ear!

Start working out more--I know it's difficult to find the motivation, but the hardest part is the first couple of laps or the first mile. It releases all the happy chemicals all up in the head. Of course, if you continue use of drugs, you can permanently mess up your brain's chemical makeup, in which case, you should probably see a doctor. Staaaayy awaaayy from the drugs, if you don't listen to anything else I'm typing!

I hope things get better for you, Niklas. C:
Thanks! I´ll try it out and see if I can find anything I can keep close to heart at all times. I have been trying all kind of music, for a few years ago I was a fanatic ska guy and listened to all kind of feel-good music but nowadays I just feel those songs to be taking energy from me. I´ve found this Italian composer Ludovico Einaudi and his music are calm but with a steady flow of movement in it is as well, Sort of "spiritual" movement but I stopped to listen to him aswell.. Maybe I could try to spend an evening with just calm music and meditate all night to see what I really want because now everything feels like a mess. But, been trying to figure that out for years now.. so i don´t know for sure but I can try it. Can´t hurt!
I have been trying to exercise and in some point I made it work for like 2 months even thou I really hated it. Lifting metal. But I don´t mind exercising overall just that I haven´t found anything that really works for me. I do longboarding and snowboarding but since I lost my friends I also lost the fun of it. But those two are also related to seasons which isn´t ideal. But, going to start longboarding real soon hopefully when the wheater is better.
Yes, I should stay away from drugs. I´ve never been addicted to any drug but I´m kinda scared it will go that way because, well drugs are funnier at the moment and I do understand people who become addicted just because they just like me can´t find their way out of their depression. But I prefer just to be happy without it because their´s something drugs can´t give you and that´s being proud of yourself.
 

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their´s something drugs can´t give you and that´s being proud of yourself.
This.

Relatedly, I'd recommend regularly setting goals and accomplishing them. Even when the goals seem futile, make yourself do the work anyway. Use the goals as anchor to pull yourself up, to give yourself something to focus on. It doesn't even matter what they are; the goals could be learning to juggle and to play "My Heart Will Go On" on the xylophone. When you're nearing the end of one goal, make sure you have another lined up to come next.

Be the best boyfriend ever to yourself. Cook yourself delicious meals. Treat yourself to something cool-looking for your space. Explore somewhere you've never been before.
 

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I´ve just been reading a thread about the 10 stages of depression for an ENFP and somehow I can find myself partly in all of those stages and this depression have been going of quite a while and as true as I´m writing this I´m lost in myself. I made this thread because I think I do need an own thread for my particular case. It´s been such a long time since I felt inner calm and I seriously can´t remember how it feels to be happy.
I can´t tell when this depression actually started but since I was 16 years old it have been down-hill with some few ups and downs. I can´t even say what the actual trigger was because I can relate to many smaller events that could somehow worked in a way that slowly broke me apart. So, my fuzzy conclussion is that I did never got time to heal before next event occured and in that way I just gave up at some point.
I haven´t been the person I wanted to be, very manipulating, emotional, cold to people and I´ve lost all my friends since long time ago and my only friend and girlfriend who I feel just can´t understand me. I´ve also lost all my before passionate interests. My high values have been starting to breaking down lately but I´ve discovered drugs in a way that just can´t be good. Sure, my values still screaming but I feel that voice are slowly decreasing. Just a few days ago I tried ecstacy with my cousin and my girlfriend and that opened my eyes I think. Becuase, I ended up on this site. (I want to be REALLY clear that drugs is a way to kill you. Not particular to medical death, but you will die inside and you will destroy everything you do live for. So, do please do not do drugs. With that said, I´m very much against drugs) This drug made me feel inner calm, inner joy and just pleasure to be a part of this world, a feeling I very much had before my depression. That´s how I realized how far down in my depression I was because I started to think when I last felt happy and I can´t remember just how it felt to be happy anymore.
I want my life back and therefor I will try to attempt to do anything to reach inner calm again, for me and for my wonderful girlfriend I can´t understand where she gets her energy to keep herself in this relationship. I´m begging for any advices you people can give me and I will try to keep this thread as a diary aswell. I tried to keep this post as small as possible so if there´s anything you people want to ask, feel free to do it. I will be an open book and will answer any questions.

Dearest// Niklas

All right. Let me think...

You need to pull away from these self-destructive interests of yours. It may very well have to do with your current circle of friends, so do some critical thinking. I'm sure they would understand if you need to cut off with some of them to gain some perspective, and I would think that your health and continued existence is more important right now.

If you want to get your life under control, I'm going to need you to do a few things for me, here. I hope you'll take the time.

Re-evaluate your life's circumstances, by:

1) Writing a timeline, from childhood (as far back as you can remember), until now. Mark your biggest events. The things that had greatest, moderate and minor impacts.

2) Write a list of your past interests. Why did you enjoy them? What were some drawbacks?

3) Write a list of your current skills, and the knowledge you have acquired. Flaws. Positive attributes.

4) Write a list of your past jobs, from least, to most favourites. Ask yourself why.

5) Write a list of your dreams and aspirations, no matter how small.

6) Write a list of your past relationships, from least, to most favourites. What happened? Where did they fall apart? Which ones are still afloat, and why do you think that is?

7) Write a list of your most sacred values. Why are they important to you? Why did you go against them, if any?

Post anything here that you think is relevant after doing this. Personal information not required.

I will be able to help you a bit more from there, and perhaps this will put things in perspective for you as well.
 

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Look to the articles on being in the grip of the inferior function (Si for us). Truly, it makes so much sense as to why I was so down, personally. Treating Si positively is the key to getting out. The article suggests doing things that have always been pleasurable/comfortable, like good food/drink, massages, sleep, relaxation, bubble bath, exercise, meditation, music, sunshine, etc. I even got back into painting and drawing. Basically whatever makes you feel good, which should make you more positive. You have to PUSH though. You have to decide that you won't get to stage 10 and consciously make yourself do things you need to do, no matter how hard it it...even if it's only for 5 mins a day. Try to push and increase it everyday, I wish you the best.

Long, but worth it... http://personalitycafe.com/enfp-articles/76803-recognizing-inferior-function-enfps.html
 

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I'm liking what everyone is saying and don't want to repeat.
You have us ENFPs pulling for you!

You KNOW you have that core thing inside you - whatever it is - but your WILL. (wether it takes you back to a belief in a higher power, your inner center, your self-awareness/esteem- whatever it is for you, it's there.) Trigger that. You are ENFP- once you make that decision that you are NOT doing this anymore and that you are choosing something else for yourself, you will naturally pull yourself out of it. It can be very difficult- but you can do it!!! You will do it. Make that decision and take each day- each moment one step at at time.

Are you going to allow depression to define you? Or are you going to choose happiness?

Life is short. Spend it happy. Not sad.

(check out my last two blogs- I'm in that nauseating ENFP-optimistic mode. Don't know if it will help or make you want to vomit. But check it out.)

:happy:
 

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and depression meds- not sure all they do- but they help with serotonin levels.

For me- exercise and sunlight boost them for me!

Here are more natural ways to boost your serotonin which is the feel good stuff / block-the-bad-stuff thing in our brains/bodies.

Natural Ways To Increase Serotonin | LIVESTRONG.COM
 
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