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Now, before you start, I know there's no real 'solution' to depression, but I was not going to define that in what little space I have in the title.

I can see already that many of you have depression just from skimming the forum. I don't frequent this corner much so instead of simply sharing stories I was hoping that you could offer me coping mechanisms, in particular maybe coping mechanisms that work for your type in particular.

Have any of you managed to pull out of depression? How?

Have any of you have to cope with suicidal thoughts... what do you do to fight this?
 

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You should listen to depression because it tells you what you need. Like Carl Jung said: "Depression is like a woman in black. If she turns up, don’t shoo her away. Invite her in, offer her a seat, treat her like a guest and listen to what she wants to say.”

I had a problem with life. I'm serene since I accepted I'm nothing and I made peace with death.
 

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There is no shame in seeking professional help - this is the first thing I would recommend.

If that’s off the table, then all I can recommend are “hotfixes” really :( Things that worked for me may not work for others. The severity of depression varies as well and I am in no way more knowledgeable than anyone on the subject - so I won’t assume that I know “the” solution at all.

But for what it's worth, here are my methods when dealing with:

- Loneliness/Alienation
- Loss of interest in “everything".
- Loss of energy and vitality.
- Self-loathing.

For me, movement is key. Whether this be physically, mentally and/or emotionally. Taking progressive steps towards something (a goal) helps a lot. It also helps the reward system as an added benefit ( if not primary benefit ). The following examples will hopefully provide an idea:

- Working out and going for walks ( Bonus: listen to audiobooks during walks )
- Focusing on hobbies, meditation ( focused meditation/mindfulness )
- Socializing and crafting positive moments and meaning in life ( memories etc. belonging )

If you’re interested in some of the reasons to why meditation has been found to work, the following video may provide some insight into the topic.

 



With that said, meditation may still not be your cup of tea. So don’t force yourself.

The second part of the equation has to do with stability (stable flight). Is there order in your life? Do you have friends? Do you stay in contact? Is your living space in order? Is your apartment/room etc. orderly? Do you have a job? Are you secure? Is your diet “ok” in check? Do you have a proper sleep schedule etc. The individual load of these small things may not affect you, but the combined load will. These things are worth considering.

An idea for figuring these things out is by thinking of the opposite, by how someone can maximizing his misery (lol not my idea). The following should give an idea.

 



But idk, I hope this helps.
 

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I wouldn't try to develop coping mechanisms, because when you have depression you will be even more at risk of developing unhealthy ones. This is one of the things I found most difficult - developing habits to cope that were self destructive in the long term.

I'll make a brief list;

Don't drink alcohol - obviously because it can get addictive but it's also a depressant.
Avoid caffeine, especially if you are already stressed, and feel nervous and jittery after one cup of it. It makes you more irritable and anxious.
Develop "sleep hygiene" habits to help prevent insomnia. Avoid screens 1 hour before bed, don't consume alcohol, caffeine, sugary foods. Learn relaxation techniques, use asmr, whatever you find beneficial.
Don't talk shit about yourself! Self loathing is common with any kind of mental illness, but you know deep down it's not true and that you're being too hard on yourself. Leave regrets in the past where they belong.
Eat healthier foods like fruits, tomatoes, fish and omega 3 oils, olive oil, leafy greens, nuts, flax seeds. You can also make smoothies. Avoid red meat, sodas, fried foods, veg oil, etc. At least try it for a couple weeks and see what happens.
In general look after your appearance, improve it if you need to, talk to friends and family if you can, find new hobbies or routines.

The best solution for me treatment-wise was anti-depressants. It's not a "solution" but rather to make it easier to cope while you make some changes to your life while you aren't crippled by depression. If you have also have something like adhd or anxiety, some of them also help with that. If you hate the idea of taking pills then look into therapy or counselling. Many people recover by doing both.
 

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I see depression as mostly a symptom, not a disease. There is something going on or not going on in your life, physically, emotionally, etc.

Depression can be caused by certain other health issues, supposedly leaky gut syndrome can mess with nervous system, just one example.

But, aside from the obvious, death of loved one, breakup of some sort, it seems INTP types suffer from either loneliness, and I think related a feeling of existential crisis of one sort or another, feeling that they don't belong, out of place, their life is meaningless.
It's that dang thinking(I actually love and am grateful for).

For me, at long stretch of time I was depressed, worst point had suicidal thoughts. Counselor who was not big on medication had put it as a possible option, but I decided I wanted to ride it out and see what I came out with. Major thought/priority shift in how I viewed and lived my life. I came out the other end and have never gone back to that dark place(15 years ago), but to me, I needed to go through there to get where I am now. It would not have happened otherwise. I would have needed to be on drugs all my life to keep it from pulling me down. Sure there are short periods of depression but there is also lots of joy. These are the ups and downs of life. But in the end, I'm glad I battled through that to figure out what was really causing it.
 

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For the record, this isn't asking on behalf of myself (although, yes, I am suffering from depression, different story) but my INTP father.

I see depression as mostly a symptom, not a disease. There is something going on or not going on in your life, physically, emotionally, etc.
I tend to agree with you there. Although it can be considered both. There is generally something which exacerbates depression more but some people naturally have melacholic outlooks on life and suffer more than others with the same problems.

Depression can be caused by certain other health issues, supposedly leaky gut syndrome can mess with nervous system, just one example.

But, aside from the obvious, death of loved one, breakup of some sort, it seems INTP types suffer from either loneliness, and I think related a feeling of existential crisis of one sort or another, feeling that they don't belong, out of place, their life is meaningless.
My father suffers from literally every single one of those issues. That finding meaning part is the one that I've seen the most potential in helping him with but I'm lost as to how.

It's that dang thinking(I actually love and am grateful for).
Oh yeah? Did you have to do something to gain this perspective?

For me, at long stretch of time I was depressed, worst point had suicidal thoughts. Counselor who was not big on medication had put it as a possible option, but I decided I wanted to ride it out and see what I came out with. Major thought/priority shift in how I viewed and lived my life. I came out the other end and have never gone back to that dark place(15 years ago), but to me, I needed to go through there to get where I am now. It would not have happened otherwise. I would have needed to be on drugs all my life to keep it from pulling me down. Sure there are short periods of depression but there is also lots of joy. These are the ups and downs of life. But in the end, I'm glad I battled through that to figure out what was really causing it.
What do you think it took for you to finally recognise what was really causing it? Were there coping mechnisms or other such things that continued a cycle of denial before you got to that stage?
 

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I would like to request that this thread be stickied.


Now, before you start, I know there's no real 'solution' to depression, but I was not going to define that in what little space I have in the title.

I can see already that many of you have depression just from skimming the forum. I don't frequent this corner much so instead of simply sharing stories I was hoping that you could offer me coping mechanisms, in particular maybe coping mechanisms that work for your type in particular.

Have any of you managed to pull out of depression? How?

Have any of you have to cope with suicidal thoughts... what do you do to fight this?
I see you around on ENFP, I like your posts, I'm glad you are dropping by.

I manage a depressive, neurotic personality that occasionally breaches out of depression like a weird, goofy and irritable blue whale.
Usually I live life wishing I could fast forward to the end, but when things get really heavy I am properly suicidal.

Here's a list not just for you but for anyone who may need it.

Professional advice and psychiatric help with potential medication takes precedence over the stuff below:

...
*refers to therapy binder*

Items in Green are neuroplasticity items that rely on a buildup and get easier/show increasing returns with consistency. You're sculpting a brain that is better capable of dealing with this existence.

Pick and choose what seems suitable for you:

Professional advice and psychiatric help with potential medication takes precedence over the stuff below:

Sensory stuff:

Clean yo room. (Shoutout to our Lord and Saviour Jordan Peterson)
Repetitive, mentally undemanding tasks. Bonus points if done mindfully.
Stress toys.
Contained mindful sensory experiences: Eating a nice meal and savouring it, sex, personal hygiene stuff, slime/kinetic sand videos, colouring books, anything provided you fully focus on it.
Change of environment: Switch to a new location, even if it is a new room. Bonus points if nature or a personally enjoyable place.
Cold water: A cold shower or applying cold water to face to make use of the mammalian dive reflex
Music, bonus points if learning or playing an instrument.
Dance, bonus points if no pants on.
Rain/Running water videos. Alternatively download the Relax Melodies app and use that.
Saunas: The Finns are crazy about them for a reason. Alternation between sauna and cold showers for a few intervals can create a melty relaxed state. (Please consult your doc before using, I don't want to get anyone killed)
Diaphragmatic breathing

Aromatherapy.
Pets: Petting fuzzy creatures is helpful for stress relief.
Walks
Exercise <- 30 min daily, sustained exercise is equivalent to antidepressants. Cardio leads to a stronger heart, thus better irrigation of the brain, thus better cognition. Endorphins help mood regulation.

Grounding techniques: There's tons of them. Counting backwards, planting your feet on the ground, box breathing, body scanning, listing colours in the room, keeping a rock in pocket and feeling it, eat something sharp tasting. Can elaborate more upon request.
Yoga or just stretching.
Catch whatever sunlight you can.

Sleep:

Don't skimp on sleep for whatever reason. Get your hours and wake up after 7.5 hours. Literally shortens your lifespan and destroys cognition. Also makes mood regulation much harder.
Consistent rise time

Sleep hygiene: No electronics in bed site, blue light filters, silence or soft music/sound, no food 2 hrs before bed, cleanliness, comfortable temperature and good bedding.
Self check for sleep apnea if sleep is not restful.
If struggling to sleep within 10 minutes, get up, do something monotonous in low light. Sleep again.

Food:

Healthy eating, minimize processed food intake and calorie dense foods. Minimize carbs. Veggies are nice.
Minimize sugar, however you can.
Chamomile tea is the tits, bonus points if paired with peppermint.
Any herbal tea is fantastic in lieu of.
Dark chocolate, the darker the better. One little square a day.
Keep a leash on caffeine intake. Try not to go beyond 200 mg a day (a standard espresso) 400 mg a day is dangerous on an ongoing basis.
Vitamin D, from sunlight or supplements

Mental stuff:

Meditation. Start small, even 1 min multiple times a day works. Do not seek to empty or clear your mind, the goal is to practice nudging conscious thought away for a bit and simply existing. So long as you work towards exercising this skill, you're golden. No meditation is unsuccessful. Something I do is set up a tea infusion in the morning, meditate and by the time I'm done the tea is warm enough to drink.

Journaling as an introspective tool
Stoicism, reading about Hobbes helps with this.
Nietzschean philosophy coupled with Absurdism (Albert Camus). Consider that while we are doomed to be free from an existential perspective , we at least don't need to deal with an imposed meaning.
Reading/learning stuff Khan Academy, Duolingo, EdX courses, there's all kinds of free stuff around.
Thought records
, paired with analysis of thinking errors
Puzzles, puzzles, puzzles! Love Sudokus!
Learn to find humorous angles to everything.
Learn to find the silver lining/lesson behind all the downs in life. Every mistake is a package of lessons.
Practice developing
wisdom.
Evaluate the
regrets of the elderly.

Emotional stuff:

Replace emotional responses with metaphysical thought: Free will doesn't exist, existence is nonsensical, we're tiny meatbots in an expanding dead wasteland, the self is largely an epistemic illusion, and life is devoid of meaning so we're free to do whatever and it's all good in the end. (But this doesn't excuse being a shitty person)
Forgive yourself for being human.
Check out what Eckart Tolle has to say.
While at it wear some mutha fucking sunscreen.
Remind yourself that, as Buddhism states: Attachment is the root of all suffering.
Set an hour of the day to do "Worry/Depression time" in which you allow yourself to focus on these feelings, while leaving the rest of your day free for you to act. Be strict or it'll backfire.
Gratitude Journal, or alternatively *shameless plug*
Work on emotional boundaries for self-care.
Positive affirmation, list (remind yourself of) positive traits about yourself, use situational evidence. (Note: it's not meant to be false praise, if you feel it's false, it doesn't count. That being said do try to give yourself some credit)

Mood / Dream tracking.
Creative outlets.
Minimize the use of the word "Should".
Maximize laughter at every opportunity, bonus points if not self deprecating.

Choose your battles. There are things you can't change, and pouring resources on them won't help anyone.
Don't beat yourself up over failure if it is not constructive.
Don't seek a magical cure in relationships. It doesn't work like this.

Social stuff:

Join groups. Meetup.com is great for this, as people typically are trying to do this for self care and development.
Reddit can help if offline isn't your thing I guess?
Take classes at a community college or elsewhere if you can afford it.
Call or write to people you love, like or mildly tolerate. Check up on them. Maybe hug them if you're brave.
Learn to see small talk as a diagnostic tool instead of just mindless drudgery.
Realize every person may hide unexpected lessons.
See your social life as a garden to carefully tend and nourish. A support network is vital
If you don't have a social life, start small. Say hi to people if it's appropriate or wave. Learn to be curious about people. Also don't beat yourself up over it, there's all kinds of people on this boat.
Get a chuckle out of one person a day.
Learn to say No if you struggle with it.
Volunteer
Practice kindness/empathy for your own selfish enjoyment.
Toastmasters if you struggle with social anxiety.
Learn a language through a club.
Use hot/warm lines if it gets really bad. Warm lines if you have no one to talk to, Hot if you feel suicidal.
Take inventory and do a cost/benefit analysis of the people in your life. Reduce contact with those that take more than they give, if you can. Nurture the good ones.

Executive stuff:

SMART Goals
Having a goal you want to get to, whether practical or self development based is great for anchoring
Try to have a goal in terms of self development, career, social, health and psychological.
Track your progress. Take inventory of successes every month.
Take care of yourself, no one else will.
Do something productive every day
Try to create a routine in any capacity.
Unfuck your Habitat.


Literature:
7 Habits of Highly Effective People.
The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck
L'Homme Revolte (The Rebel) By Albert Camus.


-----

There may be more... I'll add what I remember until I can no longer edit this post.
Can talk more about your particular depression in future posts if you want, I just don't know how personal it is.
 

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My father suffers from literally every single one of those issues. That finding meaning part is the one that I've seen the most potential in helping him with but I'm lost as to how.
It's the little moments really, not necessary the big outlook. For me it was finding things I was passionate about, and not spending all my time just "taking care of things". Focusing on the people you are passionate about is big also, but not easy to do that in a healthy way until you figure the other stuff out. I found out I had interest in lots of subjects, by just chasing some little impulses on books to buy. It opened up a whole world of history to me which I had not cared about before. It's now a huge passion and I use it in my writing as well. I actually did a lot of that, reading, rather than watching TV. Sometimes too much standard TV can keep you from finding interests. Also, it was letting myself feel. As thinkers, we sometimes suppress our feelings, but that's not always healthy. So in letting myself feel I could start to sort things out and really figure out who I was, what I wanted(at least a general direction) out of the rest of my life. After that I was able to start connecting with other people a little more easily, so the loneliness went away.

Oh yeah? Did you have to do something to gain this perspective?
It's just that the sooner you embrace who you are(not the toxic parts), but the basics of how you are made, then the less self-loathing there will be. There are strengths and weaknesses to all personality traits. It you look at the strengths you are looking at the positives.

What do you think it took for you to finally recognise what was really causing it? Were there coping mechnisms or other such things that continued a cycle of denial before you got to that stage?
Well, I saw a counselor and learned about some things, like personality types, where I stood, and how that played into why I was so miserable. I kind of rewrote the expectations on my life after that. I still had to work my job, but realized I let it hold too much of my life and identity. My denial stemmed from the fact that by outside standards I should have been very happy with where my life was. But it was like pretending and the moment I realized that's what I was doing i could no longer deny it and go back.

Wish you and your father well.
 

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This is my first post ever. Strange that it is here.

For me depression manifests itself more as a pervasive nihilism. Basically the meaning gets sucked out of everything I see. I can read a book or watch a movie to attempt to feel something and while sometimes it works I am always aware that my feelings are only the result of chemical reactions so what I feel is, in a way, meaningless.

I've found the best thing to do is to keep active. Hang out with friends, work on projects, take walks whatever keeps me from spiraling into a deeper depression. However motivating myself can be difficult and I do have frequent spikes of depression in tandem with suicidal thoughts at times.

It must be noted I am an Epileptic which certainly contributes to this depression along with my current dealings with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. However the depression that I talk about has existed before the PTSD and is more existential in nature.

Basically keeping active and making sure I stay in contact with others is what I try to do. It's hard. I have a tendency to isolate myself, I'll stay in my room with the blinds closed all day instead of going outside. Not out of fear just lack of motivation. In the dark I can think clearly as well.

So, yeah.
 

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I love how when people have depression, they come here lmao.

Yes I have depression, and no there's no magic cure.

I am happiest when making progress in my life.
Actually, that might be the only time I'm happy.
Which isn't frequent, sooooo.... Yeah. Vast majority of the time I'm miserable.
That's the reason I don't own a gun; the thought of putting a bullet through my brain comes up far too frequently for it to be safe for me to own one.
Ironic thing is they gave me a permit to carry.

If you want my honest answer how I usually cure it?
I either try to fix what's bugging me, or I self medicate.
Alcohol doesn't really help by the way, just steals your life from you.
I can't recommend pot either, as it makes me more depressed than alcohol.
I tend to take adderall, which allows me to get shit done, allows me to ignore my depression because I got 100 things going on in my head, and when I'm finished I feel better.
Then I crash and feel worse than when I started.
 

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At the end all is about changing the perspective and the tendency. Doing it by resisting the uncomfortable will not make the change last long, either ignoring it.

Realize, acknowledge, release and integrate.

There are so many elaborated and usefull answers already, can't add much right now.
 

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I think, there is no one solution to cure depression that is good for everyone, there are only common ways to decrease it. Everyone knows that cannabis was proved to be helpful for people, and one of the diseasses that can be treated using it is depression. To be honest, I was clueless about cbd oil, so I decided to find out more on the topic. First of all, I understood the difference cbd oil vs hemp oil (many people use "hemp oil" when mean cbd oil, so I didn't know these oils are not the same thing :)). Now I started learning the consequences of using cbd oil. I talked to several people who used it, and all of them were pleased with the result. So, I think it is worth trying. What do you think, guys? Have you tried it? Did it help?
 

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Discussion Starter #15
I think, there is no one solution to cure depression that is good for everyone, there are only common ways to decrease it. Everyone knows that cannabis was proved to be helpful for people, and one of the diseasses that can be treated using it is depression. To be honest, I was clueless about cbd oil, so I decided to find out more on the topic. First of all, I understood the difference cbd oil vs hemp oil (many people use "hemp oil" when mean cbd oil, so I didn't know these oils are not the same thing :)). Now I started learning the consequences of using cbd oil. I talked to several people who used it, and all of them were pleased with the result. So, I think it is worth trying. What do you think, guys? Have you tried it? Did it help?
The INTP who inspired this thread smokes it. It seems to be a temporary solution, not long term. Perhaps one issue is that he's more likely to drink whilst smoking and I know that drinking is a serious depressent, for him in particular. It's hard to know if it's as simple as that since there are many factors to consider that could be influencing it.
 

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Sensory stuff:

[...]

Sleep:

[...]

Food:

[...]

Mental stuff:

[...]

Emotional stuff:

[...]

Social stuff:

[...]

Executive stuff:
[...]

Literature:
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Great lists! Don't wait to be in a depressive state before following those advices :skeleton: because they are general life advises.

Lucky me that I'm depression-proof. Btw, depression can also arise from an auto-immune disease but be sure that you implemented correctly and successfully most Nell's advises before assuming that your depression has another source. Moreover, auto-immune disease are not well understood because of its very complex nature but some studies find links between auto-immune disease and the mental state, the cardiovascular system and the gut flora of the individual.

Cannabis and antidepressant drugs are short-term solutions (alcohol is a very short-term solution), so don't use it only for feeling better. Real progress in your life has to be done in parallel.
 

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Yes I have depression, and no there's no magic cure.
Depends on the source of the depression. If it is from gut as @GusWriter mentions (food intolerance(s) due to elevated intestinal permeability), many people quite miraculously heal it by transitioning to all meat diet. I had rather chronic fatigue syndrome for a year before finding out the root cause and it helped me.
 

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Depends on the source of the depression. If it is from gut as @GusWriter mentions (food intolerance(s) due to elevated intestinal permeability), many people quite miraculously heal it by transitioning to all meat diet. I had rather chronic fatigue syndrome for a year before finding out the root cause and it helped me.
It can be complicated issue, figuring out the source of any malady. The reason I know about the leaky gut is my wife. She began having sugar level problems, and then later other symptoms. After tackling this with diet for a while saw progress but then setbacks. Turns out the leaky gut can be traced back to her ibuprofen use for headaches/migraines. It's like clockwork. Headaches get so bad she has to take ibuprofen and within a day and a half stomach problems come. It's the ibuprofen use over 2 decades that eventually brought it to this(which research shows is not that uncommon). So, the core issue is figuring out what to do about headaches, which we are still working on.
 

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It can be complicated issue, figuring out the source of any malady. The reason I know about the leaky gut is my wife. She began having sugar level problems, and then later other symptoms. After tackling this with diet for a while saw progress but then setbacks. Turns out the leaky gut can be traced back to her ibuprofen use for headaches/migraines. It's like clockwork. Headaches get so bad she has to take ibuprofen and within a day and a half stomach problems come. It's the ibuprofen use over 2 decades that eventually brought it to this(which research shows is not that uncommon). So, the core issue is figuring out what to do about headaches, which we are still working on.
Have you tried capsaicin?

I don't get headaches so I can't speak to its curative effects. But the Mega Death Sauce in my diet may be why I don't get them in the first place...
 

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Have you tried capsaicin?

I don't get headaches so I can't speak to its curative effects. But the Mega Death Sauce in my diet may be why I don't get them in the first place...
Ha! Can we call you Dr. Barlow and have you talk to my wife? She's always been a little extra gringa, especially when it comes to spicy food. But ever since this started she's even less tolerant of the hotter spices. Sad for me.

I will tout it's curative effects. Helped me with my symptoms of GERD a few years back. A lot of people say it's counter intuitive, but they probably had an issue with spicy food to begin with, where I was glad to have an excuse to add serrano peppers to our weekly staple. And yeah, my headaches are like 12 second affairs and then gone for another six months.

But maybe capsaicin in a capsule or pill form will work, although to me straight from the food source seems better.
 
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