Personality Cafe banner

61 - 63 of 63 Posts

·
Infractionated
I drive a blue tricycle with a gold bell.
Joined
·
8,597 Posts
@daleks_exterminate What do you mean by hedonism binge? Just fucking a lot and taking a lot of euphoric drugs?
Doesn't sound like a way that would work for most people, and the first part almost impossible to achieve for a depressed introvert.
A one-shot, or a few days of MDMA have helped me cope during depressions - a reminder how it is to feel happy and that it's possible and that that feeling excist at all. But hedonistic use seems the road would just lead to the bottom. Plus all the other drugs that is a puff/pill/snort away from pleasure but only works during the period the drug is active and brings no memory from the intoxicated world back to the sober one, like alcohol, heroin, bonzo, kratom, et cetera. Those are a heavy risk to get dependent on, you get a pause from the misery, which can be life saving, but that pause can also become a reaaally long pause, where you pause life to not feel like shit. Always being on the drug, and when you're not; longing for the comfy warm blanket of the drug, being the number one goal for the sober real you, removing all other goals of life, which I think is needed to advance, including advancing out of a depression..
Fair question.

Let me start by clarifying a couple of things first. 1.) The depression that hedonism can fix for me is not full blown chemical imbalance actual depression. (I'm specifying that as someone currently dealing with actual depression and it's not the same as a bit of sadness, blues, or a funk.) Hedonism can help that a lot, but it's not going to help this kind.

2.) I don't actually mean a full fledge binge either. That's on me because my phrasing was bad. I don't mean drugs or alcohol explicitly. I mean if I'm in a not so good place (but not like it's hard to just take a shower level, or eat food level) then doing a lot of things to just enjoy them that I don't usually let myself do can help. This can be some drugs or alcohol (that's not advisable for anyone with addiction issues or a history of dependency), but it really can just be getting a friend and going away for a weekend trip, getting out and going to get fancy macaroons, and not feeling guilty on frivolous things, but just letting myself. In retrospect, this may sound stupid as that's pretty mild, BUT I'm someone who feels guilty when I waste money, resources, or things like that. When I straight up didn't have the money to do something big like my lists I've bought a crate of beer (like €10) and invited some friends over for something like cards against humanity.

I'm specifying because I get that's not "hedonism" by most definitions. I really consider myself a hedonist with a lot of self restraint though. My craving for things, even like what you've listed, can be really high and I don't want to be addicted to anything so I don't usually let myself even get close to the line. That's why when I'm sad or in a funk giving in (a little) can do a lot.
__

I do have some self imposed rules such as: 1.) Only allowed to smoke when I'm happy or it's a lovely day. I like cigerettes, but I don't want to be dependant on nicotine to feel better, or less stressed, etc. So, I let myself occasionally buy cigerettes (I haven't in a year, but I know I can if I want.) This way, when I do get a bit of a craving I'll have a couple. Then I'll forget about them for a year or so.

2.) Drugs are infrequently used. I do like things like psychedelics. LSD made me laugh for 12 hours straight and I wasn't in the best place before taking it. However, I did that with a good friend and had someone responsible for us the entire time.

3.) Mushrooms were in between a microdose and a legit dose the first time I used them just to be sure I'd react okay.
__


Back onto the topic for the thread now that I'm dealing with an actual depression:

Note: It's fucking difficult. It's a lot to take care of basic life things right now. Letting myself do something I wouldn't normally won't magically fix this. A drug binge wouldn't fix this and I won't go there because I'm not sure I'd come out. It's been dark and scary.

What is helping:

1.) Forcing myself to sign up for a 2 week internet class every 2 weeks for learning something like making sourdough bread, or pasta from scratch, or gardening (as dumb as this probably sounds). This is because I have someone to be accountable to that I'm actually doing what ever thing it is. Working with my hands and learning a skill is enjoyable once I finally get into it. It can be annoying, but it pushes me and I'm greatful I've been doing this.

2.) Tracking my food and water intake. It's hard to eat right now. I'm making sure I'm getting at least 1,200 calories a day (which is legitimately a lot right now.) Sometimes it's on really stupid "bad" things, but then at least I put something in my body. Tracking water helps me drink a lot more water than I would be otherwise and that's helping a lot.

3.) Exercise. This one has been hell. Walks, work outs and just going outside may as well be mt Everest right now, but I'm making myself. I do notice slow changes. It's really helping.

4.) Writing down one thing a day I'm greatful about. Even if everything feels overwhelming and like there's no hope, it's helping me realize that's not actually the case.

5.) I've found r/depression memes to be extremely cathartic.
866225

That's probably weird, but they're helping a lot so eh.

6.) I'm looking for a therapist. I have an appointment with one Friday and I hope it goes well. She does emdr therapy which can help things like PTSD. It's weird but I'm willing to try. I think I should be checking in with someone right now just to be honest about where I'm at and learn better coping skills.

7.) I'm open to meds if needed. I'll see what happens with 6.
 

·
Infractionated
I drive a blue tricycle with a gold bell.
Joined
·
8,597 Posts
I've legitimately joined games where I'm betting on myself to exercise for instance. If I don't do it, I lose money. It's the only reason I'm actually making myself tbh.

So I guess find out what motivates you and use that on yourself.
 

·
Registered
INTP/ENTP. Type 5, 594, ILE.
Joined
·
187 Posts
Music, is my therapy:
That, and antidepressants. I'm lost about it too...But since my life's getting slowly back on track, I don't think I'll be jumping off a bridge anytime soon...hopefully, I will find my imaginary purpouse as well, along the way. But doubt it.
 
61 - 63 of 63 Posts
Top